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Recently I shared with you 5 ways for radio program directors to help their imaging directors.

Here are five more.

6.  Don’t Underestimate the Intelligence or Awareness of Your Audience.

“Great promo, but our audience wouldn’t ‘get’ it.”

Unless you’re using inside radio jargon, what makes you think the audience won’t understand?

Someone please remind me what intelligence test we had to pass before we were allowed to become disc jockeys (and then program directors).

In truth, many radio programmers are less aware of the culture at large because a symptom of The Radio Disease is our tendency to live radio 24/7.

7.  Do Share with Them the Emotional Response You Want to Elicit.

The most important question is not, “What do we want to say?”

It’s “What do we want them to feel?” (Thanks, Chuck Blore.)

8.  Treat Them Special.

With networking and syndication, often the imaging guy is the only truly local person whose work consistently is heard on your radio station. (Yes, your station might outsource the imaging, too. Alas.)

You want that person to be happy.

Don’t you?

9.  Give Them the Tools They Need.

We radio people have a long and proud history of “making do” with what we have. But that’s part of the industry’s youthful stage, and radio now is a mature business.

“There’s lots of free software out there. Use some of that. And your Kaypro 64 is a real workhorse.”

In a mature, intensely competitive market, forcing your production people to create your station’s imaging with antiquated or amateur tools isn’t “making do”; it’s “making doo.”

Not all tools, by the way, revolve around work stations.

Example:

If your Imaging Director (or Production Director or Creative Services Director) spends more than 36 hours a week in the production studio, install a mini-refrigerator in that studio.

She can stock it with her own refreshments, but every time she opens it during yet another marathon production session, she’ll silently thank you.

10. Give Them Deadlines.

Not as a whip, but as a gauge.

Your Imaging Director is overworked. Every 10 minutes someone drops something new in his inbox.

Tell him when each project is due, so he can prioritize his workload.

It’s discouraging to stay up half the night, trying to perfect a piece, only to be told the next day, “Oh, it was just an idea I had. Let’s put that one on the shelf and maybe one day we’ll look at it again.”

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How NOT to Make A Car Dealer Radio Commercial

Radio advertising for automobile dealersautomobile radio advertising notoriously is terrible.

The Southern California Lexus Dealers Association continues the proud tradition of paying ad agencies to create commercials that cost them money…

…rather than producing money-making results.

In this commercial, all the “sales” information is delivered in a straight read by an announcer.

Good luck staying awake through that part….

View this car dealer radio commercial on YouTube.

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I’m sad to report that the “Chickenman” and “Tooth Fairy” collectors’ packages are being discontinued.

Several years ago, Dick Orkin personally assembled the only authorized CD collection of the radio adventures of the most fantastic crime fighter the world has ever known…

Chickenman!

More recently, I personally oversaw the creation of the only authorized CD collection of “The Secret Adventures of the Tooth Fairy.”

When each was released, we told the world:

“These are limited editions. If you’re a fan, get yours now…while you can.”

We Have Ceased Production of These Two Collectors’ Packages.

There are fewer than 100 sets of each.

When those packages are gone, that’s it. There won’t be any more.

If you’re a fan, grab your copy now.

Or hurry up and order it for that friend/relative/spouse/roommate who always replies, “Yes, I am” when you say his/her name…

…or who says, “Hit it, Raoul!” at the most inappropriate moments.

Chickenman Dick Orkin radio series

“The Story of Chickenman” numbers 14 CDs and includes:

  • All the episodes of the original radio comedy serial
  • Behind-the-scenes, inside stories from Dick Orkin (aka the Wonderful White Winged Warrior, Benton Harbor) and from Chickenman’s original production engineer, Mike King.

Tooth Fairy radio comedy Dick Orkin

“The Complete Secret Adventures of the Tooth Fairy” contains:

  • 11 CDs in a gorgeous box
  • All 325 original radio broadcast episodes
  • The long-lost wedding episode: “The Tooth Fairy Gets Married”
  • An exclusive interview I conducted with Dick Orkin (aka Newton Snookers, the Molar Marauder)
  • The original Tooth Fairy “demo tape” that was sent to radio stations before the series even existed
Tooth Fairy radio series member card
  • Your very own authentic Tooth Ranger Card

Each of these collector’s editions has gotten rave reviews from fans all over the world.

I’ll truly miss shipping these radio comedy treasures, because I know that each package delivers so much joy to the recipient.

Here is where to order one of the last remaining “Chickenman” collectors’ packages.

Here is where to order one of the last remaining “Tooth Fairy” collectors’ packages.

If you’re a fan of one or both series, please share your memories, favorite episodes, etc. in the “comments” field below.

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Here are five tips for radio program directors who want to help their imaging directors produce the best possible work.

This presumes that at your station, the program director and the imaging director are not the same person.

1.  Don’t Write the Promos, Liners, etc.

Yeah, I know you want to write them. That’s because:

A)  It’s easier for you to write them than to figure out what you want and then explain it to the person who should write them.

That’s true. You’ve chosen the easy way, not the best way.

If you can’t express your vision to your imaging director, either you don’t have a vision or you’re a poor communicator. Either way, that’s a problem for your station.

B)  It’s fun.

Of course it is. You sit around and brainstorm what you think are witty liners.

Maybe they’re witty, maybe not.

Maybe they’re witty but they don’t communicate what the listener needs to hear.

Maybe they’re witty but they’re impossible to perform and produce in the time frame allocated to your imaging messages.

C)  You’re a “hands on” program director.

Poor excuse. If you have time to write station liners, you’re neglecting some of the other duties that only the PD should be doing.

2.  Give Them a Vision.

Program Director:  “We need something for Wham-A-Rama.”

Imaging Director:  “What’s the feeling we’re trying to communicate?”

Program Director:  “Oh, you’ll come up with something.”

Imaging Director:  “What do we need to say?”

Program Director:  “Just make sure you get the sponsor names in there.”

Dissolve to…

Program Director:  “What the heck is this piece of garbage?? Why didn’t you include artist drops? And there should be listener reactions; it’s a contest, for crying out loud!”

A PD who tells the producer, “I can’t really tell you what I want, but I’ll know it when I hear it” is either incompetent, lazy, or scared.

(Not able to crystalize a vision; too lazy to sit down and figure out what the message should be; afraid to try, for fear they won’t be able to come up with anything.)

“I’ll know it when I hear it” without any type of guidance or inspiration is the hallmark of an amateur.

3.  Give Them Time.

If you need a 30-second promo 30 minutes from now, any producer can give you just that: a 30-second promo.

Quality? Listenability? Understandability? Memorability? Audience connection? If any of those is present, it’ll be a fortunate surprise.

4.  Figure Out What You Want the Promo to Accomplish, and Then Communicate That to Them.

“We want to build anticipation so that when we finally announce that tickets are available, everyone rushes to their computers or their telephones or the sponsor locations to get them.”

“The advertisers get 30 weekly promos as part of the package. We’re an edgy station, so make them edgy. Just be sure to mention the advertisers.”

“This goes between two songs. We want to make sure people know what station they’re listening to, and we want to do it in a way that reinforces our family image.”

5.
Don’t Copy & Paste What You Hear on Other Radio Stations.

Here’s why….

Wait, never mind. If I need to explain why you shouldn’t your radio station’s imaging shouldn’t be defined by other stations, you won’t listen to me anyway.

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INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF BAD RADIO ADVERTISING

A Loyal Reader Writes:

“This commercial copy we received from the regional office of International House Of Pancakes is so bad that it’s almost funny. It came from their Vice President of Marketing.

“It’s incredible that a company of that size would turn over the task of representing this restaurant to someone who may have never written radio copy before.

“Here is a verbatim copy right down to the typos, missing words and abbreviations.

“I can’t wait to get my lips around those pancakes between 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. Can you?”

I’ve altered the location information but nothing else.

Here’s the advertising copy.

“IHOP”

Been to IHOP Lately? Well now is the time to

go because we’ve just opened a new location

in Smallville, located on Hwy 102 and

Orange Avenue in the XYZ Shopping Center.

We’re open from 6:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m.

Mon-Thurs. and 6:00 a.m. until midnight

Fri. and Sat. We offer more than 16 types of

pancakes, omelettes, and other breakfast

specialties, as well burgers, sandwiches,

salads and steaks. So if you in the mood for

a special treat, stop in to see us at our new

IHOP in Smallville, or one of our other four

locations in the area. “Any Time’s a Good

Time for IHOP!

(All errors above were in the original.)

That’s a Yellow Pages ad, not a radio commercial.

As I’ve said before, the easiest thing in the world to write is a bad radio commercial.

That’s why so many people write them.

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