Yeah, I know: It should be “whom.”
October, 1993
Usually October is extremely busy for me. This time the pace was a bit more relaxed. My first trip was to Indianapolis, where I presented WHAT EVERY RADIO MANAGER SHOULD KNOW ABOUT PROGRAMMING and a 2-hour version of AIR PERSONALITY PLUS+ for Linda Compton and Gwen Piening of the Indiana Broadcasters Association’s Fall Convention.
The IBA was under “new” (at least, since my previous visit, in 1990) management, and the change was for the better. This convention was much better organized than the last I spoke at, and Gwen was exceptionally nice to work with.
I knew I was in Indiana by the fact that during the 30-minute taxi ride to the hotel, the cab driver talked non-stop about…basketball. He didn’t bother to ask if I follow or care about basketball; he assumed it was a very important topic for me. So I spent the first 15 minutes nodding my head.
Then he said, “So, where are you from?”
“Los Angeles.”
“Oh, yeah? I went to high school with a guy who moved to Los Angeles. You’ve probably heard of him.”
Now, I can’t explain how I knew, but I had a strong hunch regarding whom he was talking about. Just a hunch.
“Oh? Who is that?”
“Charles Manson.”
And he spent the second 15 minutes talking about his old school chum, Charlie.
I don’t know about you, but having my cab driver reminisce about the good old days with Charles Manson does not make me, as a passenger, especially comfortable. (To be fair, he didn’t say they had been friends. And he did say “Charlie” was considered very strange, even then. But, still….)
As soon as the second Indianapolis seminar was over, I had to rush to the airport to fly to Québec City. The IBA had a ride waiting for me at the hotel. Not just a ride, a limousine. A stretch limo.
I did my best to act as though this is my standard mode of ground transportation.
This, of course, is not quite the truth. At the time, my standard mode of ground transportation was a 1981 Toyota Tercel.
The limo driver, alas, did not volunteer any enchanting stories about his childhood with Charles Manson. Nor did I inquire.
In Québec City, I presented both THE PSYCHOLOGY OF MANAGEMENT and HOW TO CREATE MAXIMUM IMPACT RADIO ADVERTISING for Réncontré ’93. My seminars were accompanied by simultaneous translation…although, as it turned out, very few of the French-speaking Québec attendees seemed to need it. Or perhaps they just didn’t want to hear what I had to say.
During my stay, I was asked to give an interview to the Canadian Broadcasting Company (CBC), on the topic of creating great radio commercials.(The CBC, of course, is non-commercial.), I said, “Sure!” The show’s host was Jacqueline Czernin.
She was good and the show was fun. Her introductory remarks, however, threw me a bit:
“Most radio commercials are terrible. They don’t sell, and no one listens to them. That’s what our guest, Dan O’Day, says….”
Now, that’s a true statement and Jacqueline was quoting me accurately. But she omitted the context in which I made those remarks (in a pre-show interview with her producer).
The above quote suggests that advertising on radio is a dumb idea. The whole point of my seminar, however, is that radio is a very powerful, effective advertising medium when used well. So my first task during the interview was to recover from my introduction.
I did quite enjoy the show, and I told Jacqueline I’d love to come be her guest host the next time she goes on vacation. I assume at this very moment the CBC is drawing up new rules to prohibit such an event.
During my visit to Québec, I made a rare sojourn away from the convention hotel. This was at the instigation of Neill Dixon and Nancy Mayer, who produce the annual Music Industry Conference as part of Canadian Music Week. They presented a one-day version of my annual PD Grad School in 1993 (as part of Canadian Music Week), and this gave us a good opportunity to discuss doing it again in ’94.
They selected a fancy French restaurant and explained that I had to order the “French Onion Soup,” inasmuch as it’s a Quebec creation. (I didn’t know that.) So, I ordered French Onion Soup, and it tasted….Well, it tasted pretty much like French Onion Soup.
The highlight of the dinner was when Nancy leaned over to Neill and — indicating a diner several tables away, against the wall — whispered, “Look at that guy! He’s dating twins!”
Nancy could not believe the audacity of that guy, taking two identical, beautiful blondes out to dinner.
Neill looked over, then turned back to Nancy and said, “Their table is next to a mirror. You’re seeing the woman’s reflection!”
Our realization of Nancy’s misperception served to ruin the rest of our evening vis-a-vis any intelligent business discussion. We were too busy laughing and making silly remarks centered on the “twins” situation.
(Please don’t tell Nancy I told anyone about this incident.)
The following week found me in Alexandria, Louisiana, where Lou Munson brought me in to conduct a full-day air talent seminar for the Louisiana Association of Broadcasters.
Next door was a full-day sales seminar, conducted by Irwin Pollack. His began 30 minutes before mine, so I snuck in and watched some of it. I’d never met Irwin before and quite enjoyed what I saw. His presentation is passionate, fast-paced, and quite in keeping with my own bias: Focus on the customer, not on the radio station.
Irwin and I got together for lunch sometime later in Los Angeles, and I was shocked to discover that not only is he a former disc jockey; he’s a former disc jockey who used to subscribe to my old comedy service, O’LINERS. (I published O’LINERS for 15 years and finally stopped when my seminar schedule became so hectic.)
This trip was less stressful than my previous visit to Alexandria (1989). That time I had changed planes in Dallas, and when I arrived at the airport in Alexandria I discovered my bags still were in Dallas. In fact, everyone’s bags were in Dallas.
It turns out that in warm weather, that American Eagle flight can’t handle both a full load of passengers and their baggage. So whenever there are lots of passengers, they just leave the bags behind. This is such a common occurrence that when I entered the hotel without any suitcases, the desk clerk said, “Your luggage will be coming in later, huh?”
Had I known this was likely to happen, either I would have carried my bags on board or I would have booked other transportation to Alexandria. Instead I found myself in 90° weather and 100% Louisiana humidity, with only the clothing I’d worn all day (including a long-sleeve shirt)…and an LAB barbecue to attend that evening.
American Airlines ended up paying for the shirt I bought that day, and my bags finally arrived…late that night.
