DAN O’DAY TALKS ABOUT RADIO

Unlike many of the commercials I critique in this space, this one is not a piece of crap. But it’s nowhere as good as it should be.

Here is the first of two compliments I will give to this commercial: There are few enough words to allow for a conversational delivery. This is a serious message, and cramming in too much information, hype or “entertainment” would contradict the sober, mature message they are attempting to deliver.

• You have only 60 seconds to deliver your message. Don’t waste time by telling the listener that what you’re about to say is a fact and then telling them a fact.

Compare these two opening lines:

(Original) It’s a fact: If your investment portfolio is worth $500,000 or more, you are a high net worth investor…

(Revised) If your investment portfolio is worth $500,000 or more, you are a high net worth investor…

Is the message in any way strengthened by beginning with, “It’s a fact”? No? Is it weakened by omitting those 3 words? No? Then delete those 3 words.

The Opening Line Is The Commercial For The Commercial.

This spot attempts to attract the attention of “high net worth investors.” Which opening line is more likely to attract such listeners?

“It’s a fact…”

or

“If your investment portfolio is worth $500,000 or more…”

In a radio commercial, there is no time to waste. Hit the ground running, by grabbing the attention of your target audience.

• What is the value of stating that “If your investment portfolio is worth $500,000 or more, you are a high net worth investor”?

“High net worth investor” might well be part of the investment world’s lexicon, but what’s important to the targeted listeners is that they have investments worth at least $500,000.

Because the term isn’t used again in the commercial, clearly it’s not there for legal reasons; this offer is not being made only to “high net worth investors.”

Delete “high net worth investor.”

• “And if you want to better protect your sizable investments, you have to avoid making disastrous mistakes that can seriously reduce the value of your portfolio.”

— Oh! So making disastrous mistakes that can seriously reduce the value of my portfolio might harm my investments? What a revelation. Note to self: Making disastrous mistakes = NOT good.

• “That’s why we believe” — More wasted time, wasted words, unnecessary demands on the listener’s attention.

• As so often is the case in direct response commercials, the telephone number is given before anyone in the audience could possibly want it.

HERE COMES THE CLUE TRAIN: First make people want what you have, THEN tell them how to get it.

• They also introduce the advertiser’s name before it is relevant to the audience. Why should they care about Fisher Investments? Because that’s who will give them this valuable, free report. But the first time Fisher Investments is mentioned, the “valuable report” hasn’t yet been introduced to the listener.

• They include one very good word: “loaded” — “This free report is loaded with easy-to-understand tips and techniques….” Suddenly an informal, action-oriented word, followed by an easy to digest description.

But then they return to redundancy: “techniques that you can use to keep your portfolio safe — and help prevent losing years of investment gains.”

Um, don’t “keep your portfolio safe” and “prevent losing years of investment gains” essentially mean the same thing? (“Keep your portfolio safe” is broader, but in this commercial they mean the same thing.)

• A tiny thing, but one that signals to the listener, “Bad Communicator At Work”: “To get your free report titled The Eight Biggest Mistakes Investors And How To Avoid Them“ — using “titled” in that context is like saying “located at.”

Would it be any weaker to say, “To get your free report, The Eight Biggest Mistakes Investors And How To Avoid Them”?

No? Sorry, “titled,” you’re gone. If it’s not actively helping the sales message, it doesn’t belong in the commercial.

• Finally, the message isn’t specific enough. It begins by identifying a well defined group: investors whose portfolios are worth $500,000 or more. But for whom was their free report created? According to the title, it’s for “investors.” Not “high net worth investors” (which would have justified the use of that phrase earlier in the spot).

It’s like saying, “Hey, vegetarians! You should get our terrific new cookbook, 1,001 Tips For Better Barbecuing.” If you’ve gone to the trouble of attracting the attention of vegetarians, how about offering them 1,001 Tips For Vegetarian Barbecuing?

QUICK & DIRTY REWRITE

Right now I have a major copywriting job awaiting my attention, so I’m determined not to spend hours on an unsolicited (and probably unwelcomed) freebie rewrite. So I’ll give this no more than 5 minutes, starting….NOW.

If your investment portfolio is worth at least $500,000, you need to protect it. After all, investments and securities involve the risk of loss. Even sophisticated investors can make disastrous mistakes — sometimes by what they do, sometimes by what they don’t do. If you’re a high net worth investor, you need to read our free report, “The Eight Biggest Mistakes High Net Worth Investors Make And How To Avoid Them.” This free report is loaded with easy-to-understand tips and techniques that will keep your portfolio safe — and protect your future. We’re Fisher Investments, and helping people like you protect their financial futures is what we do. For your free report, call 1-800-900-4179. That’s 1-800-900-4179. You’ve got nothing to lose by making that call — but a lot to lose if you don’t protect your investment. Call now for your free report at 1-800-900-4179.

That’s not polished. It could be better. But my 5 minutes are up.

Those are the major topics in the current issue of my Radio Programming Letter.

I’ve created this post for any subscribers who would like to comment, disagree, or illuminate.

I’ve been to so many broadcast conventions & conferences I’ve lost count. Early in my career I attended as a registrant. For the past 20+ years I’ve attended as a guest speaker. But I just realized something: Most radio people never have been to a large radio conference.

My first was a Billboard convention in New York. I was working in a tiny market in Florida, and on my salary I never would have thought of going if Billboard hadn’t done something sneaky: They nominated me Small Market Radio Personality of the Year.

The convention was held at the Plaza Hotel.

The Plaza Hotel (In Happier Times)

Yes, that Plaza Hotel. I had to resist writing “…the fabled Plaza Hotel.”

Fabled or not, famous and synonymous with luxury as it was, my room there was…How shall I put this…?

Well, you’ve seen restrooms at truck stops? My Plaza Hotel room was almost as nice.

It was a pit.

A toilet.

Disgusting.

If you doubt me, just ask the cockroaches with whom I shared it.

I ate all my meals at the Burger King down the street — except for the Awards Banquet, emceed by the inestimable Gary Owens. I still recall his opening line: “Earlier today I had lunch here in the hotel, in the Snobbery Room….”

These days broadcast conferences tend to be much less lively affairs. Considerably less partying. Drastically fewer cool goodies. And gone are the days when a young DJ could eat an entire day’s worth of food by cruising the hospitality suites in the evening.

One modest tote bag stuffer in the early 1990s was a CD produced by Satellite Music Network: “The History of Radio.” SMN has transmogrified to ABC Music Radio. But that CD has sat on my shelf all these years. Here’s the first installment.

November, 1993: I had a very enjoyable day in Houston, conducting HOW TO CREATE MAXIMUM IMPACT RADIO ADVERTISING for the staff of KZFX, thanks to Mary Bennett and Dan Michaels.

When I conduct this seminar in-station (for salespeople as well as copywriters; it’s really a sales seminar), at the end of the day I take the group through an exercise that is great for generating fresh, appropriate ideas for specific accounts. What’s really nice about this exercise is I lead the group through it, but they come up with all the good ideas.

One of the account executives mentioned she was looking for an original concept for a mortgage company, encouraging people to take advantage of low interest rates by refinancing their homes. The group went through the exercise. They ended up with a concept that I think is wonderful:

The spot consists of a phone call between a man and his father-in-law; we hear only the son-in-law’s side of the conversation. He has called “Dad” to say they’ve refinanced at a lower rate, and with the money they’re saving they’re paying back all that “Dad” had loaned them for the down-payment…with interest.

Which means he can stop worrying about the house…stop telling them how to decorate…stop calling to inquire if they’ve rechecked the wiring or done another termite test….

It’s done lightly, not bitterly, but you can tell the father-in-law has been acting like it’s his house, not theirs.

I suggested the closing line of the commercial: “Oh, and Dad…You know our den — the room you used to call your study? Little Johnny is there right now, and do you know what he’s doing? He’s writing on the walls!”

(When I teach this seminar, I stress the importance of identifying the “core message” of the campaign. The group identified one possible core message inherent in refinancing as the idea of independence. Once we had identified that core message, the group was free to find a creative, fun way to demonstrate independence.)

Tuesday Weld

When reporting on my travel woes, I like to include photographs whenever possible. I don’t have any for this week’s installment. So I’m emulating (i.e., ripping off) my friend Ken Levine; whenever he doesn’t have an appropriate photo for his blog post, he runs one of Natalie Wood. Tuesday Weld is my Natalie Wood.

The following week featured a quick, one-day trip to Phoenix, where I appeared on a panel at the Arizona Broadcasters Association convention. The topic of the panel? “Indecency and the Broadcast Media.”

The rest of the panel was comprised of broadcast attorney Howard Weiss of Fletcher, Heald & Hildreth….Robert Ratcliffe, Assistant Chief, Law, of the F.C.C.’s Mass Media Bureau…and a representative from a far right-wing group that believes the “left-wing liberal media” is out to corrupt America.

On that day, I had a terrible, relentless hacking cough. (I don’t smoke; it was the last stage of a bad cold.) Prior to the session, I was wracked with coughing.

In an effort to break the ice with the representative from the very conservative, fundamentalist group, I joked, “Gee, maybe God is trying to tell me something.” My intent was a little light humor, recognizing our differences in a friendly manner.

This gentleman responded in deadly seriousness, “Yes, maybe He is.”

That really ticked me off. “Oh, yeah?” I sputtered between hacks. “And what about when I’m not sick? Does that mean God changed His mind??”

The panel session itself, however, went pretty well; all sides were able to present their points of view, and there was no gunplay. (My cough? It retreated for the duration of the panel. Apparently adrenalin is an effective cough suppressant.)