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2008: HIGHLIGHTS OF THE ONE BLOG I ALWAYS READ

For most of the world, 2008 officially began sometime in June, when I published my very first blog post. Radio people argued over whether it’s a good idea always to put music under the DJ’s voice, and the Internet hasn’t been the same since.

I’ve been sharing The Best Radio Video Ever for years now, and I recycled it as a blog posting.

Hotlining Is For Wimps took dead aim at short, insecure PDs.

A bunch of friends and I reminisced about our First Days On The Air.

I paid tribute to America’s (and probably the world’s) greatest living radio personality.

Ira Glass did the work for me in this posting — far better than I could.

My video camera revealed the seamy underbelly of Dick Orkin’s Famous Radio Ranch.

I fessed up to a hoax I played on San Francisco listeners.

Ever meet a dumb radio station receptionist?

I have no idea who called this fax spammer.

Whoever it was, he called another representative of the same fax spamming company.

Hollywood voiceover coach Nancy Wolfson revealed her true feelings about radio people.

Don LaFontaine left us too early. Unless you saw it here, probably you never saw this video.

Everyone thinks my international travels are so glamorous. They are.

A lot of people never heard the Terry Moss production that caused the FCC to change its rules.

Ross Brittain demonstrates the true glamor of a radio star’s life.

My attempt to get everyone excited about one of the coolest songs ever…Well, kind of flopped.

My 3-part series on how to react to a competitor’s misleading contest seemed to amuse people.

My favorite rendition of Cream’s “White Room.”

Finally, one or two people shared my awe at this demonstration of How To Write A Hit Love Ballad.

All in all, I think it’s fair to say that this blog has never had a finer year. And I owe it all to my dozens of loyal readers. Next year? More of the same, except for the new stuff.

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Your radio station website is not a playground for your webmaster — or a dumping ground for the cookie cutter output of an outsourced provider. It’s a marketing tool. It’s a valuable opportunity to further engage your listeners or clients.

You agree? Good. But have you made that clear to your Web designer?

For example….

Splash Pages

Have you ever had the experience of clicking on a link or entering a Web address and instead of being taken to the home page, you arrive at a page that says:

“Welcome! Click here to enter.”

That’s a splash page.

Splash pages waste people’s time.

People already did the work to come to your site. It’s crazy to ask them to do more work now.

Think about your radio station. You use marketing and promotions and advertising to convince people to sample your station. Direct mail, TV, billboards, busboards:

“Listen Thursday morning at 7:10 for our $10,000 birthday song, on 102.7!”

You finally convince someone to tune in 102.7 for your $10,000 birthday song. They tune in to 102.7 and what they hear is:

“Thank you for tuning in 102.7, now go to 103.1!”

Your radio station wouldn’t be stupid enough to do that. Why would your website be that stupid?

The only valid reason for a station website to have a splash page is if you have a site that offers information in more than one language:

“Welcome to RadioX.com. Click here for the English presentation, click here for Spanish, click here for Norwegian.”

Otherwise, splash pages only serve the purpose of wasting people’s time.

You can confirm this with your own experience. You know what it’s like to click on a link or type in a URL and end up at something that says, “Click here to enter.”

When that happens, what is your response?

If you’re like most people, your response is one of annoyance: “Why do I have to click to enter? Just put me there!”

For more ideas on how to maximize the value of your radio station’s website, here’s a handy resource.

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The spot opens with, “Wishing you could get away for a mini-vacation?” That certainly could be the premise of a commercial for a Las Vegas resort. But after asking the question, they don’t do anything to deliver on its implied promise.

“Here’s a little secret exclusive for our K-EARTH listeners. MGM Hotel & Casino has it all….”

Actually, I swear the guy is saying “had” it all. But that doesn’t make sense. It’s more likely that my hearing ability has deteriorated than that the copywriter or voiceover performer accidentally wrote or said “had” instead of “has” — and that no one at the radio station caught it.

Where was I? Oh, yeah:

“Here’s a little secret exclusive for our K-EARTH listeners. MGM Grand Hotel & Casino has it all….”

That’s not a secret, and it’s certainly not exclusive for K-EARTH listeners.

Saying that something is exclusive for your listeners when it’s not is what we in the radio advertising biz call “not true.”

“Treat yourself to a massage at the spa.”

Gee, a Vegas hotel with a spa? Hard to believe. And the spa offers massages? Unheard of.

“See an award-winning show.”

SHE: We never do anything fun any more.

HE: How about seeing an award-winning show?

SHE: What a great idea! Honey, I love you!

TOGETHER: Thanks, MGM Grand Hotel & Casino!

Here Comes The Clue Train:

If you want people to attend your award-winning show, tell them the name of the show or performer.

“But the MGM Grand Hotel & Casino has a number of different shows, and they might change from one week to the next.”

Yeah, so? Either do the work needed to create the spot that sells the show, or don’t waste your breath and the listeners’ time talking about it.

“Indulge yourself in any of the 15 restaurants.”

Indulge myself? Oh, you mean eat food?

15 restaurants? Doesn’t sound particularly inviting to me. Sounds like a gigantic, impersonal place. But by golly, “15 restaurants” is on that list of bullet points, so….

“Oh, and the room accommodations? Wow, where do I start?”

Well, you could start by noticing that no one you know ever comes back from a mini-vacation and refers to their “room accommodations.” Never.

HE: How about staying at the MGM Grand Hotel & Casino?

SHE: Hmm, I don’t know. What are their room accommodations like?”

And apparently the announcer never did figure out “where to start,” because she didn’t say anything at all about the “room accommodations” — other than to imply that the MGM Grand Hotel & Casino has some.

“Exclusive package offers won’t last long.”

Hey, they met the “not true” standard twice in just six words:

1. We’ve already established that the offers are not exclusive.

2. The “special offers” probably will be featured on the MGM Grand Hotel & Casino’s website for years.

“I tried radio advertising, and it didn’t work….”

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BOBBY OCEAN’S SUNDAY RADIO CARTOON

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PROOF THAT RADIO DOESN’T HAVE TO BE DEAD

This is one of my all-time favorite station promos.

If it doesn’t make you smile, that’s okay. Just means it doesn’t fit your taste or sensibility.

But if it does make you smile — or, as I do, respond with awe at its brave creativity — a reminder: The people who did this 40 – 50 years ago didn’t have 1/10 of the production tools available to you today.

All they had was an idea. And a “what if…?” And the desire to find out.

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