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ENTRIES #17, 18, 19: Make A Better "Target" Radio Commercial Contest

Three more entries in our “Can You Write Better Than This Junk” contest…

Andy Riggle says:

“I figure, why not go with a fun approach rather than rattle off a bunch of mundane details.”

Andy Riggle:

Neal Angell:

Henry Bolo:

Okay, judges: Give ’em your best shots….

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  • adamg March 18, 2009, 12:12 am

    All you guys have done gone and written some out standing copy. That is creative and off the center in many respects. To me I am looking right now ,not is it viable as a commercial but is that quality desperately needed in this cookie cutter accepted business/ I can only imagine Dan’s thoughts after hearing the same old mush that doesn’t do anything but give the writer-hack- a paycheck…
    in twenty years I would rather be reminded of Target’s commercials by what you guys are doing with it then the same old “Anncer:”blah blah Blah.Thanks for the nudge Dan…

  • Rob Stirratt March 18, 2009, 6:17 am

    I had a Production Director, early on in my career, describe the Production Department as a “Spot Factory”. When we can get creative with copy writing, it’s easy to let our creative juices run away with us and risk losing the message. The second spot, in particular, I think, did this. I know there is a sale at Target but what’s on sale? Toilet paper?

  • Dan Seidler March 19, 2009, 10:00 am

    Dan, the first commercial with the “prank” works the best in being captivating – giving you company/product info while keeping the listener engaged in the story of the spot. The other two, not so much.