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ENTRIES #14, 15, 16: Make A Better "Target" Radio Commercial Contest

For those of you scoring along at home, we have 17 more entries in our “Can You Write Better Than This Junk” contest to share between now and Saturday. The following week: The judging begins. (Get ready to vote. Just in case I decide to add the illusion of democracy to this contest.)

Paul Fredricks explains:

“I played off the ‘nature’ theme, since I can’t visualize a motif. Be gentle, I’m still dealing with being discarded by Les Moonves a few months back. Hey Dan, maybe Les would add some of his $18M bonus from last year to the prize pot? I’m sorry, did I say that out loud?”

Paul Fredericks:

Brianna Logan is a student at Mount Royal College.

“I went with the nature angle, hope you like it.”

Brianna Logan

Jessica Seabourne also is a student at Mount Royal College:

“Please let me know what you think. Even it is good or bad, and what I could do to change it.”

Jessica Seabourne

Okay, judges: Unleash the hounds….

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  • John March 16, 2009, 8:26 am

    Wow am I going to be a problem child today.

    1. Inoffensive but uninteresting.

    2. Don’t get the connection at all. Is this supposed to sell anything or is it just to take up air time? Where’s the pitch?

    3. I can’t think of anyone I know who would have a conversation like this. There has to be some reality for a joke to be funny. And it doesn’t sell anything.

    The bottom line: would I go to Target based on anything I heard in any of these commercials?

    Unfortunately… no.

  • Don March 16, 2009, 3:55 pm

    lol@Jessica’s spot; “Cheese and Rice! Is that a Tiger?”. I don’t know if even alternative slang for swear words is a good idea however, as funny as it may be. I think the inference is still clear, which some people may find offensive, perhaps?

    At this time, I’d like to add how INCREDIBLY easy it is to pass judgment on everyone else’s commercials, having not entered the contest myself. ;-P

    So “hats off” to those who had the courage to give it a go. 🙂