DAN O’DAY TALKS ABOUT RADIO

At a couple of recent radio advertising seminars I’ve been asked, “Why do so many businesses continue to do such terrible radio advertising?”

Both times, “car dealers” were used as examples of businesses that spend huge amounts of money to broadcast lousy advertising.

I offered the answers I’ve shared here previously — ignorance, ego, incompetence, naivete, etc.

I also included another reason that I don’t think I’ve mentioned here before:

In some cases, even bad advertising is better than no advertising at all.

Screaming “Ed’s Used Cars! Ed’s Used Cars” 20 times a day probably isn’t the smartest use of the medium.

But screaming those words 20 times per day for a year will make Ed’s Used Cars more familiar to your listeners than if Ed never advertises to them at all.

And everything else being equal, the car dealer you’ve heard of is more likely to get your business than one you’ve never heard of.

So the car dealer does generate some business via those annoying, abusive commercials.

And the car dealer thinks, “I sure do know how to make a radio commercial.”

What he doesn’t know is how much more effective his advertising could be.

One of my favorite on-air radio moments was when I was a jock in San Francisco.

At the time, “Yesterday Once More” by the Carpenters was a hit. That particular song began almost cold, on the vocal.

As I cued up the record for the 300th time, a quarter-turn to the left, a quarter-turn to the right, the much slower manual speed drastically altered the sound of the Carpenters. In fact, I mused, it kind of sounded like the Righteous Brothers.

Uh-oh. I felt an idea coming on. The kind of idea that makes management nervous but strikes me as funny.

“In just a couple of moments,” I said, leading into a commercial break, “I’ll be playing the world premiere of the brand-new Righteous Brothers record.”

Coming out of commercial, I explained I’d managed to get an advance copy of their newest single, and surprisingly they had recorded the same song that already was a hit for the Carpenters.

“Here, I’ll play it for you. And then you can call in and let me know whose version you prefer.”

And I played the Carpenters’ 45 at 33 1/3 rpm.

I thought maybe people would get a chuckle out of the obvious stunt.

They didn’t chuckle.

As soon as the song ended, they called in to vote for the one they thought was better.

No one realized I was joking.

The highlight was the caller who said, “You know, at first I thought you were just playing the Carpenters at a slower speed. But when they got to the harmonies, I realized it really was the Righteous Brothers. Nobody can touch their harmonies.”

You be the judge…

Here are five more translations of what radio people really mean.

“How was your weekend?” — Prefix to a Monday morning request for help, urgently needed due to intense procrastination on the part of the person doing the asking.

Listener — One who stops by to pick up a prize that is nowhere to be found and about which no one knows anything.

No Charge Spot — A radio commercial heard by no one, as compensation for its having been heard by no one earlier.

Payday — A momentary biweekly illusion that one is not financially doomed.

Parade — Something in which one would dearly love to drive the station vehicle, if only one’s spouse had not already made plans that cannot be changed, much to one’s regret.

This is why Harlan Hogan teaches his Starting Your Voiceover Business class only once a year:

Because he doesn’t make his living teaching voice acting. He makes his living by delivering the kind of performance in this video.

Before You Watch The Video

1.  Turn up your speakers before watching, so you don’t miss the opening line

2.  It’s 2 minutes long. Trust Me: Watch the entire video.

3.  Afterward, in your comments, please don’t reveal…Well, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

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