DAN O’DAY TALKS ABOUT RADIO

Most radio program directors practice what I call “Paperboy Management.”

If you’re old enough to recall having subscribed to your local daily newspaper…

Did you ever call the paper to give feedback on the news carrier’s performance in delivering your newspaper?

If so, I’ll bet it was because either one day the newspaper wasn’t delivered…or it got wet and you wanted it replaced.

The only feedback the paperboy (or the guy on the truck) received from you was when the newspaper was missing or wet.

And you didn’t need to give him more feedback than that, because motivating him wasn’t your job; it was his supervisor’s job.

A radio PD, however, is charged with motivating a staff of people whose duties usually are more complex than throwing a newspaper in the general vicinity of the customer’s house.

The following, by the way, is not a helpful critique:  

“That comedy bit you did this morning? It sucked.”    

If you can’t tell the jock why the break didn’t work or what she could have done to have made it better, you have no business criticizing her. 

Click here for tips on How To Critique and Coach Radio Talent.

A Loyal Reader Writes:

“This copy we received from the regional office of International House Of Pancakes is so bad that it’s almost funny. It came from their Vice President of Marketing.

“It’s incredible that a company of that size would turn over the task of representing this restaurant to someone who may have never written radio copy before.

“Here is a verbatim copy right down to the typos, missing words and abbreviations.

“I can’t wait to get my lips around those pancakes between 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. Can you?”

(I’ve altered the location information but nothing else.)

“IHOP”

Been to IHOP Lately? Well now is the time to go

because we’ve just opened a new location in

Smallville, located on Hwy 102 and Orange

Avenue in the XYZ Shopping Center. We’re open

from 6:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. Mon-Thurs. and

6:00 a.m. until midnight Fri. and Sat. We offer

more than 16 types of pancakes, omelettes, and

other breakfast specialties, as well burgers,

sandwiches, salads and steaks. So if you in the

mood for a special treat, stop in to see us at our

new IHOP in Smallville, or one of our other four

locations in the area. “Any Time’s a Good Time

for IHOP!

 Note to Readers: All errors above were in the original.

That’s a Yellow Pages ad, not a radio commercial.

One of the big things I teach radio advertising copywriters —  that so many people who create radio advertising simply don’t understand — is the importance of delivering a single “Core Message.”

Your Core Message is the one thing you want the targeted listener to hear, to understand, and to remember.

Just one.

Most radio commercials either don’t have any Core Message…or they have more than one.

You need to teach your clients that the way to get the most from their radio advertising dollar is not to cram as much information as possible into their commercial.

The way to maximize the impact of the commercial is to say just one thing —  clearly, powerfully, and memorably.

The IHOP commercial (above) included these messages:

* We’ve opened a new location

* Here are our (oh-so-interesting) hours of operation

* We offer “more than 16” types of pancakes. (Um….How about telling us the exact number? The precise number of different types of pancakes actually could form the basis of a good commercial…If they had settled upon “pancakes” as their Core Message.)

* Omelettes and other breakfast specialties

* Non-breakfast food

* Four other area locations

As I’ve said before, the easiest thing in the world to write is a bad radio commercial. That’s why so many people write them.

In the world of radio comedy, you hear lots of variations of the same characters, gags, and situations.

Unless, of course, you’re lucky enough to have been able to listen to Gary Burbank.

Meet Gilbert Gnarley (G-N-A-R-L-E-Y).

A radio story from radio legend Gary Owens, excerpted from my book, PERSONALITY RADIO.

I used to have a running battle at KMPC about the air conditioning.

We had three separate booths from which the disc jockeys broadcast. Invariably, during the hot summer months the air conditioning in mine was always on the fritz.

I’d walk down the hall and it would be 72 degrees; in my booth it would be about 87. I’d work in my t-shirt, and I’d be perspiring and I couldn’t think, and nothing would be done.

I’d ask each day, “Is the air conditioning fixed?”

“Oh, they tell us it’s going to be taken care of today.”

Three months it went on.

So one day I came in and was doing “bad air conditioning jokes” on the air: “Because our air conditioning doesn’t work, it’s so hot in here that…”

And they sent a man over from KTLA-TV. He said, “Mr. Owens, I’m here to fix the air conditioning.”

I said, “Thank God you’re here!”

He walked around to where my engineer, Bud Stalker, was. Stalker was playing the cartridges and stuff, and suddenly Stalker starts laughing. He said to me, “You won’t believe what just happened!”

I said, “I’ll believe anything.”

“The man walked over here,” he said, “and the record was playing. He reached over and turned down the on-air monitor knob…and then he said, ‘Is that any cooler?’”

And then the guy left! We never saw him again.

Download your copy of PERSONALITY RADIO here.