A Loyal Reader Writes:
“This copy we received from the regional office of International House Of Pancakes is so bad that it’s almost funny. It came from their Vice President of Marketing.
“It’s incredible that a company of that size would turn over the task of representing this restaurant to someone who may have never written radio copy before.
“Here is a verbatim copy right down to the typos, missing words and abbreviations.
“I can’t wait to get my lips around those pancakes between 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. Can you?”
(I’ve altered the location information but nothing else.)
“IHOP”
Been to IHOP Lately? Well now is the time to go
because we’ve just opened a new location in
Smallville, located on Hwy 102 and Orange
Avenue in the XYZ Shopping Center. We’re open
from 6:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. Mon-Thurs. and
6:00 a.m. until midnight Fri. and Sat. We offer
more than 16 types of pancakes, omelettes, and
other breakfast specialties, as well burgers,
sandwiches, salads and steaks. So if you in the
mood for a special treat, stop in to see us at our
new IHOP in Smallville, or one of our other four
locations in the area. “Any Time’s a Good Time
for IHOP!
Note to Readers: All errors above were in the original.
That’s a Yellow Pages ad, not a radio commercial.
One of the big things I teach radio advertising copywriters — that so many people who create radio advertising simply don’t understand — is the importance of delivering a single “Core Message.”
Your Core Message is the one thing you want the targeted listener to hear, to understand, and to remember.
Just one.
Most radio commercials either don’t have any Core Message…or they have more than one.
You need to teach your clients that the way to get the most from their radio advertising dollar is not to cram as much information as possible into their commercial.
The way to maximize the impact of the commercial is to say just one thing — clearly, powerfully, and memorably.
The IHOP commercial (above) included these messages:
* We’ve opened a new location
* Here are our (oh-so-interesting) hours of operation
* We offer “more than 16” types of pancakes. (Um….How about telling us the exact number? The precise number of different types of pancakes actually could form the basis of a good commercial…If they had settled upon “pancakes” as their Core Message.)
* Omelettes and other breakfast specialties
* Non-breakfast food
* Four other area locations
As I’ve said before, the easiest thing in the world to write is a bad radio commercial. That’s why so many people write them.
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Most awfull, but it did make me go and make some pancakes… of my own, in my home, and certanly not at IHOP.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten copy like this to read, and after it’s cut, the sales person calls to say they want to add MORE to it.. we forgot to mention the new electric hand dryers in the bathroom, and our new ice cream sundae menu featuring “Uncooked Pork Swirl”… oh and we’re currently hiring evening servers.. and…
They left out “Their knowledgeable and friendly waitstaff will be on hand to assist you with all of your gastrointestinal needs.”
They also left out, “Call us at 555-123-4567. Convenient parking for your convenience. You’ve tried the rest, now try the BEST!”
Maybe IHOP should change their name to IHOPE, as in “IHOPE we get even one customer from that convoluted message.”