DAN O’DAY TALKS ABOUT RADIO

Z100 New York’s Dave Foxx shares three brief radio music imaging promos, created in collaboration with one of my other favorite imaging production guys, Eric Chase.

View this funny radio imaging video on YouTube.

Radio Advertising Solves Problems.

But most radio stations devote far more time to landing a client’s business than to solving the client’s problem.

If you’ve ever worked for a commercial radio station, then you’ve witnessed occasions on which someone “banged out” an advertisement in five minutes.

That’s 300 seconds — including all the “research” (none) and rewriting (none).

Which leads to the other weakness of relying on salespeople to write commercial copy:

Time.

I respect account executives.

Being a radio salesperson is a full-time job. Personally, I think it’s the toughest job in the station.

Even the minority who take their profession seriously enough to have learned how to write effective commercial copy rarely have enough time to do it as well as they would like.

They write “in between” copy — between calls, in odd moments snatched here and there. Hurriedly, always an eye on the clock.

Meanwhile, In The Big Leagues

There are famous radio stations, owned by huge companies, in America’s two largest markets. Heritage call letters, solid ratings.

At the particular stations I’m thinking of, in Los Angeles and in New York, all of the advertising copy is written by salespeople. These stations employ no copywriters.

Over the past year, some of the account executives at those stations have contacted me, asking for help.

They’ve been given no training or education in advertising.

Their managers (according to these A.E.’s) don’t know anything about advertising either. It’s all a numbers game: Make as many calls, contacts and presentations as possible.

Just sell the damn spots. Get the business on the books.

The actual commercials? Get what you need from the client’s newspaper ad. Or website. Or, in some cases, business card.

That’s a disgrace.

Small market station, low spot rate, untrained staff? I don’t condone the lack of a professional advertising copywriter there, but I understand it.

But a big station in a major market? It embarrasses our profession.

“But it’s a big station, you say? So whatever they’re doing must be working.”

No, their programming might be working.

But stations like that have a huge turnover in advertisers. The A.E.’s constantly to have find new clients to replace the ones that continually drop out.

And, of course, those disappointed clients spend the rest of their business careers declaring, “I tried radio, and it didn’t work.”

Some Bright Spots

There are some radio groups (large and small) that put their money with their mouth is when it comes to investing in commercial copywriting and production.

I don’t mean just by hiring me or buying my radio advertising products.

I’m talking about major market stations that employ 6-to-8-person Creative Departments.

And small market stations with a full time Production Director (not someone who doubles as a DJ), full time Creative Director, and full time Copywriter.

I’ve had huge, major market station groups inquire about my seminars only to tell me later, “We just can’t afford you.”

And I’ve had small market stations fly me across the continent to work with their staffs and clients.

To be fair, it should be mentioned that those small market stations can afford to bring me in…or to employ several full time employees for the sole purpose of creating commercials.

They can afford to because they make more money than similar sized competitors who don’t care as much.

On the other hand, a while ago I did meet one very unhappy, disillusioned, bitter full time copywriter.

He works for a radio group in a Top 50 market. Seven stations.

Fifty-six salespeople.

No copy deadlines.

And he writes all the commercial copy.

I really couldn’t help him.

He has to support 56 salespeople with no infrastructure, no system, no rules to give him at least a fighting chance of turning out decent (i.e., money-making) copy?

All I could suggest were Excedrin, Maalox, and relaxation therapy.

Yesterday I analyzed the idiocy of a restaurant’s alienating its “P1” guests with a happy hour promotion.

And I asked, “Do your radio station’s promotions actively alienate some of your audience?”

What about your email marketing?

I just cancelled my Best Buy rewards club membership; they emailed me far too often for my preference.

That, in itself, is not a bad thing. If their goal is to get offers in front of their most avid customers, then having some people unsubscribe because they don’t want so many offers is just part of the marketing system.

Or, it should be.

But Best Buy is the only “reputable” company I’ve encountered that doesn’t include an “unsubscribe” option in their emails.

How To Get Off Best Buy’s Email List

Want to get off their list? Here’s what you do.

1.  Search their emails repeatedly for the unsubscribe link that you know must be there.

2.  When you realize there’s no unsubscribe option in the email, shake your head in bewilderment.

3.  Go their website and log into your account to unsubscribe.

4.  Shake your head in bewilderment when you discover there is no unsubscribe option in your account. 

5.  Search their website for “how to unsubscribe.”

6.  Shake your head in bewilderment when you can find no explanatory reference.

7.  Go back to your profile to cancel your account entirely.

8. Shake your head in bewilderment when you discover there is no “cancel my account” option.

9.  Keep searching until you find the “My Best Buy Terms” page.

10.  Notice how thrilled you are to discover 2,852 words, published in 4-point type. (In other words, they’d rather you not read the “terms.”)

11.  After magnifying the page, make your way to, “#7 Membership Cancellation.”

Notice that they give you two methods to cancel:

a) Via email.

a1) Notice that they don’t give you an email address to use to cancel.

b) Via telephone.

b1) Notice that they list only their vanity phone number. It’s your job to translate it into a numeric phone number.

b2) Reel in shock as you realize, “In order to stop getting their emails, I have to call their general Customer Service line.”

12.  Reflect, for a moment, on how low “calling a large retailer’s Customer Service line” is on your list of “Things I Enjoy Doing.”

13. Shake your head in amazement at the statement by Best Buy’s Chief Executive Officer, Hubert Joly, that the company is “working on personalized marketing messages to better compete with the likes of Amazon.”

14.  Ask yourself, “When’s the last time Amazon.com made me regret sharing my contact information with them?”

15.  Try not to act surprised when you learn that Best Buy’s stock price is about half of where it was just three months ago.

Then…

Examine every encounter your radio station has with its listeners and its advertisers or supporters.

And make sure you’re not providing your customers with a “Best Buy Moment.”

This is from the dinner menu at Hamburger Hamlet, a Southern California restaurant chain that has dwindled away to a very small number of locations.

Obviously, they are eager to attract “happy hour” business at their bar, which they encourage by offering $9 appetizers for $6.

But that’s only at the bar. Not in the restaurant.

Yet the restaurant menu promotes the happy hour appetizer specials.

Imagine this:

You’re seated at a dining table in the restaurant, try to decide what to order.

You know those appetizers aren’t particularly healthy, but what the heck. Might as well treat yourself to some pot stickers or nachos to go with your burger.

But wait. According to the menu in front of you, just a few feet away at the bar you can get those appetizers for just $6 — 1/3 less than you’ll pay if you order them with your dinner.

A sign in the restaurant declares, “Happy hour prices apply only to food served at the bar.”

So you can’t order it at the bar and bring it over to your table.

You were ready to pop for the nine bucks for the unhealthy appetizers…but not if it means they’re going to treat you as a second class patron.

(Someone once pointed out that Americans don’t mind being ripped off; we just want to be ripped off equally.)

So you choose not to be a sucker, you forego the appetizer, and the restaurant loses an upsell.

Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Is the dwindling number of Hamburger Hamlet locations due solely to its bad restaurant marketing?

I don’t know. But it can’t help.

Question for Radio People

Do your radio station’s promotions actively alienate some of your audience?