DAN O’DAY TALKS ABOUT RADIO

I have no idea if this will work. Let’s test it once to find out.

You see, I have a “secret list” — my Preferred Customer List.

Preferred Customers are people who have bought at least one item from me in the past (or paid to attend one of my seminars) and who have graciously given me permission to email special offers to them, occasionally.

The offers really are “special.” Not usually available to the general public.

On the other hand, this blog still is new, and if you’re reading it you’re an Early Adopter. “Hey,” I thought, “maybe I should reward my blog readers by clueing them in to the secret special offers.”

Okay, I say “reward,” you say “bribe.” Let’s not quibble.

My Preferred Customers are receiving this special offer today. If you’re involved in radio production, you might want to check it out. It’s good for only 72 hours.

If at least one blog reader purchases from this link, I’ll seriously consider continuing to bri — reward all my blog readers by advising them of other cool deals in the future.

They paid for a custom jingle that is meant to reinforce a single important message, both at the beginning and at the end of the spot. The important message? “Call today, Lasik today.”

Yes, that’s important — but only to Lasik, not to the targeted listener. They should be reinforcing the results that Lasik promises you.

Toward the end of the spot the announcer says, “For great vision tomorrow, call Lasik today.” That would be an excellent message to reinforce in a jingle.

The opening line is fine. Delivery is pure radio announcer-y, which is a shame. (As always, we can’t assume the VO talent is to blame. That might be exactly the kind of delivery the director wanted.)

But then he immediately tells people to call Lasik BEFORE he gives people a reason to call. (The reason is the “free consultation,” but he gives the reason AFTER telling you to call.) And he gives the phone number long before anyone could possibly want it.

“Our experienced surgeons” — That really sets them apart from their competitors who advertise, “Because our surgeons have never done this before, your eyes will help some beginner learn how to do it right.”

“$28 per month, per eye, subject to qualification”

Boy, does that make them sound like shlockmeisters.

The #1 objection Lasik needs to overcome is Fear. The only way to overcome the Fear objection is with Trust. Would you trust your eyes to someone who says, “$28 per month, per eye, subject to qualification”?

And I can’t wait to hear the qualifications: “Limit 3 eyes per customer. Eyes must be in-skull at time of procedure.”

One of the funniest movies you never saw is Larry Gelbart’s MOVIE, MOVIE. Joey Popchik wants to become a lawyer, but his sister is going blind. The only way to save her vision is with an operation that will cost $25,000 — “That’s $12,500 per eye!” I laughed out loud at that line, it was so outrageous. But “prices start at $688 per eye” is not, apparently, too ridiculous for a Lasik commercial.

After giving their numeric phone number twice, they reveal they have a “vanity” number: 877-WOW-2020.

HERE COMES THE CLUE TRAIN: If you use a vanity number in your commercial, use only that vanity number. Giving it both numerically (all numerals) and alpha-numerically (combination of letters and numerals) is what we in the advertising biz call “788-743.” That’s 788-743: S-T-U-P-I-D.

What Is This Commercial’s Core Message?

(The Core Message is the one thing you want the targeted listener to hear, to understand, and to remember.)

Free consultation?
Experienced surgeons?
$1,000 off?
See if you’re a good candidate for the procedure?

THE CLUE TRAIN RETURNS: A successful radio commercial has only one Core Message.

What Is This Commercial’s Call To Action?

What one specific action do they want the targeted listener to take? Is it to…

“Call for a free consultation”?
“Call to get $1,000 off”?
Visit “an office near you”?

What Is This Spot Actually Trying To Sell?

The free consultation. That’s the first step in Lasik’s selling process.

Therefore, the entire commercial should have one specific goal: to get you to call for the free consultation.

“It is unlawful to send unsolicited advertisements to any fax machine, including those at both businesses and residences, without the recipient’s prior express invitation or permission.”

I don’t know exactly when (or by whom) that telephone call was placed to 1-888-615-3203, but if you’re looking for a travel bargain and you call them, probably you shouldn’t expect that they’d just at that moment had two more cancellations.

One of the first emails I read this morning upset me.

Someone had inadvertently ripped off my intellectual property. It was obvious that he didn’t realize he was doing something wrong, because he told me about in the email.

Because I knew he had good intentions and, in fact, is a fan of my work, I chose the wording of my response very carefully. I wanted to make sure this never happened again, but I didn’t want to offend him.

Before sending my email response, I scrutinized it one more time. I didn’t see how I could make the tone any more kind while still retaining the core message: “Don’t do that again.”

Satisfied that I had been as diplomatic as I possibly could be, I sent the email.

Here’s a neat trick when you’re telling a story:

Allow the audience to think they already know how it’s going to end. Y’know, kinda like the way you think you know where this story is going….

Even though you’re mistaken. It’s going in a different direction.

A couple of minutes after I hit the “Send” button, I wondered if I had misinterpreted his message. A little checking revealed that he hadn’t done anything wrong at all — not even inadvertently.

What he had done was completely legit and could only help me.

Question: If you were I, what would you have done as soon you had realized your error?

I hope you didn’t say, “Send him another, apologetic email as soon as possible.”

That wouldn’t have been enough.

I grabbed the phone and called him.

When you screw up:

1. Fix it fast.

2. Make sure the “victim” knows you appreciate the seriousness of your mistake. Most of us don’t like to be falsely accused of bad behavior. It stings, a lot.

Sending a simple, “Hey, sorry, my mistake” email would’ve been the obvious thing to do. But I don’t think it would have relieved the sting.