DAN O’DAY TALKS ABOUT RADIO

If you saw Monday’s Commercial Smackdown, you might recall my saying the #1 objection “laser eye surgery” places need to overcome in their radio advertising is Fear.

Here’s a commercial that’s running for one of their competitors right now. Notice what they focus on most:

Is that a great commercial? No, but it’s effective… especially as part of a drip-drip-drip Chinese water torture campaign that eventually wears down the fear-driven resistance.

They touch upon the “expensive” objection at the end, which doesn’t help but does no real damage.

As their competitor did, they give a vanity phone number and a numeric number. Dumb.

And they give both a phone number and a Web address — nearly always a bad idea. You’ve heard me say it before: In a radio commercial, choice paralyzes response.

Disclaimer: I’m biased. I believe a radio station should be Customer Service oriented. (Yeah, I know how naive that sounds.)

First, let’s define our terms:

Customer Service = Creating an experience that is so enjoyable the customer wants to do business with you again.

“If you’re not serving a customer, you’d better be serving someone who is.”

Bookkeeper’s Job Description:

1. To make it as easy as possible for the station’s clients to invest their money by advertising on that station.

2. To make it as easy as possible for his/her internal customers to access the financial resources necessary to the productive operations of their departments.

Engineer’s Job Description: To maintain the equipment in a manner that maximizes the smooth delivery of the product to the listeners…and on behalf of the advertisers.

Because the engineer never receives instructions directly from either of the two sets of external customers, he necessarily must concentrate on superserving his internal customers — i.e., Programming and Sales.

IT Department’s Job Description: To maximize the ease with which information flows among employees and between employees and customers (including listeners). Sadly, many radio group IT employees believe they’re in the Information Prevention business.

Manager’s Job Description: To support and facilitate the efforts of employees to serve customers’ needs. The manager should be spending every moment of his or her time doing whatever it takes to make it easier for the station’s employees to serve the station’s customers.

Production Director’s Job Description: To create and maintain the highest possible quality on-air product that simultaneously sells and captivates our audience’s attention, interest and imagination.

Program Director’s Job Description:

1. To get as many friends as possible to come to our party.

2. To make it as easy as possible for the on-air staff to make sure our party guests have a wonderful time.

3. To maximize the benefits to the sponsors of our party without lessening the enjoyment of our party guests.

Receptionist’s Job Description: To help our friends and customers when they call us.

Salesperson’s Job Description: To make money for the radio station by producing results for the advertiser.

Promotion Director’s Job Description: To win as many new friends as possible for the radio station and to maintain and enhance our relationships with our existing friends.

Copywriter’s Job Description: To motivate listeners to act. (NOT to move copy orders from the In basket to the Out basket)

I have no idea if this will work. Let’s test it once to find out.

You see, I have a “secret list” — my Preferred Customer List.

Preferred Customers are people who have bought at least one item from me in the past (or paid to attend one of my seminars) and who have graciously given me permission to email special offers to them, occasionally.

The offers really are “special.” Not usually available to the general public.

On the other hand, this blog still is new, and if you’re reading it you’re an Early Adopter. “Hey,” I thought, “maybe I should reward my blog readers by clueing them in to the secret special offers.”

Okay, I say “reward,” you say “bribe.” Let’s not quibble.

My Preferred Customers are receiving this special offer today. If you’re involved in radio production, you might want to check it out. It’s good for only 72 hours.

If at least one blog reader purchases from this link, I’ll seriously consider continuing to bri — reward all my blog readers by advising them of other cool deals in the future.

They paid for a custom jingle that is meant to reinforce a single important message, both at the beginning and at the end of the spot. The important message? “Call today, Lasik today.”

Yes, that’s important — but only to Lasik, not to the targeted listener. They should be reinforcing the results that Lasik promises you.

Toward the end of the spot the announcer says, “For great vision tomorrow, call Lasik today.” That would be an excellent message to reinforce in a jingle.

The opening line is fine. Delivery is pure radio announcer-y, which is a shame. (As always, we can’t assume the VO talent is to blame. That might be exactly the kind of delivery the director wanted.)

But then he immediately tells people to call Lasik BEFORE he gives people a reason to call. (The reason is the “free consultation,” but he gives the reason AFTER telling you to call.) And he gives the phone number long before anyone could possibly want it.

“Our experienced surgeons” — That really sets them apart from their competitors who advertise, “Because our surgeons have never done this before, your eyes will help some beginner learn how to do it right.”

“$28 per month, per eye, subject to qualification”

Boy, does that make them sound like shlockmeisters.

The #1 objection Lasik needs to overcome is Fear. The only way to overcome the Fear objection is with Trust. Would you trust your eyes to someone who says, “$28 per month, per eye, subject to qualification”?

And I can’t wait to hear the qualifications: “Limit 3 eyes per customer. Eyes must be in-skull at time of procedure.”

One of the funniest movies you never saw is Larry Gelbart’s MOVIE, MOVIE. Joey Popchik wants to become a lawyer, but his sister is going blind. The only way to save her vision is with an operation that will cost $25,000 — “That’s $12,500 per eye!” I laughed out loud at that line, it was so outrageous. But “prices start at $688 per eye” is not, apparently, too ridiculous for a Lasik commercial.

After giving their numeric phone number twice, they reveal they have a “vanity” number: 877-WOW-2020.

HERE COMES THE CLUE TRAIN: If you use a vanity number in your commercial, use only that vanity number. Giving it both numerically (all numerals) and alpha-numerically (combination of letters and numerals) is what we in the advertising biz call “788-743.” That’s 788-743: S-T-U-P-I-D.

What Is This Commercial’s Core Message?

(The Core Message is the one thing you want the targeted listener to hear, to understand, and to remember.)

Free consultation?
Experienced surgeons?
$1,000 off?
See if you’re a good candidate for the procedure?

THE CLUE TRAIN RETURNS: A successful radio commercial has only one Core Message.

What Is This Commercial’s Call To Action?

What one specific action do they want the targeted listener to take? Is it to…

“Call for a free consultation”?
“Call to get $1,000 off”?
Visit “an office near you”?

What Is This Spot Actually Trying To Sell?

The free consultation. That’s the first step in Lasik’s selling process.

Therefore, the entire commercial should have one specific goal: to get you to call for the free consultation.