DAN O’DAY TALKS ABOUT RADIO

One of my readers was browsing through Ambrose Bierce’s THE DEVIL’S DICTIONARY and was inspired to create a small glossary for radio people.

But in the interests of keeping his job, he requests anonymity.

With his permission, I’ve adapted, edited and added to his original definitions. Here are the first five; more to come.

“Anything for you, brother.” — Response to a request for help from someone who can fire you.

Copywriter — One charged with the responsibility of translating illegible nonsense into legible nonsense, paying particular attention to retaining the most nonsensical parts of the nonsense.

Discrepency Sheet — A non-existent document of which disc jockeys have no knowledge.

End Date — A day sometime in the past after which the commercial you currently are listening to was not supposed to air.

“Love to, can’t.” — Response to a request for help from anyone who cannot fire you.

The day before each year’s International Radio Creative & Production Summit, a secret, closed door meeting is held of our Repeat Offenders — radio producers, commercial copywriters, and voiceover artists who are attending for at least the second time.

Everyone is sworn to secrecy, so I can’t tell you what goes on behind those closed doors. But it’s always stimulating and invigorating.

Here’s a picture taken just hours ago of the Repeat Offenders. Even via a blurry photograph, I’m pretty sure you can sense their excitement.

Responding to some of the input I received from readers on Tuesday….

It’s tempting to do the Commercial Smackdown 5 days a week. God knows there’s no shortage of awful commercials that are worthy of attacking. And, actually, that might be the surest way to drive lots of traffic here. But then the tone here would be relentlessly negative, and soon I wouldn’t feel like showing up for work here.

Why don’t I share good commercials here? I do that in my (free) Radio Advertising Letter, which is more of an instructional tool than a personal soapbox.

One reader spoke of the value of keeping company with others who “get it.” That definitely is part of what I’m trying to achieve.

The person who said he checks my blog each morning made my day. Also made me wonder about the quality of his life, but still….

Part of the challenge of blogging is having quietly satisfied readers: people who enjoy the blog, visit regularly, but don’t post. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s like having a radio talk show with none of the phones lighting up.

Today, by the way, I leave to set up for the Summit. I may or may not be able to get postings up for Friday and for the weekend. I do, however, have Monday’s Commercial Smackdown all ready to go….

Yesterday I asked what you guys would like to see more of in this blog. Today I was going to respond to your responses. But then I realized that before I can respond, I should explain why I have a blog.

Some Very Good Reasons Why I Should Not Have A Blog

• I’ve never had a desire to blog. I suspect few people care what I had for breakfast today. (Chicken sandwich. I cook the boneless chicken breasts at 150° for at least 2 hours. Sometimes I forget, and it cooks for 5 or 6 hours. At that temperature, it’s not a problem. That’s my typical breakfast. Thanks for asking.)

• I believe the world already suffers from too much chatter. I’ve no desire to add to it.

• I actually have a life. Not as exciting as yours, but I don’t need shout into cyberspace in the hopes that someone echoes back proof of my existence.

• I’ve got too much to do already.

• I’m a slow writer, so writing a daily blog post eats up a huge chunk of my time. For example:

Turtle

See that word, above this line? It took me 45 minutes to think of and then write that word.

Why I Decided To Blog

This year I’ve drastically cut down on my travel. Why? What do you mean, “why”? Have you been in an airport lately? It’s torture.

But I make much of my living conducting seminars — which I really enjoy. I haven’t stopped traveling altogether — I’ve got one European seminar trip scheduled for September and 2 other “possible” European trips and a trip to Japan before 2009.

Side note to all the UK and European radio people who, over the years, have said they’d love to have me come to their markets to conduct seminars and/or do morning show tune-ups, but I’m too expensive:

Have you looked at the value of the U.S. dollar lately? With the present exchange rates, I’m HALF-PRICE to you. “Prices will never be this low again,” unless the dollar continues to plummet.

Anyway…During the past year I’ve been conducting teleseminars (fancy word for “big telephone conference call”). I’ve discovered that:

• They require a lot of preparation and having to rely on outside technology is a bit stressful, but not as stressful as doing a Strip Search Perp Walk for TSA employees.

• I enjoy the actual live performance of the teleseminars just as I do in a physical seminar setting. It’s still live, so the adrenalin is there.

• People really seem to like them. Even when they have to pay.

So for the foreseeable future I expect to do a bunch of teleseminars (and other events) on various topics within my areas of expertise. There’s a limit to how much email I comfortably can send to my subscribers and customers, so this gives me another way of reaching them.

Hopefully I can keep you coming back with good content, and when I’ve got some project to announce I can do so without wondering if you opened the email (or if it even reached you, in this wonderful world of spam filters and Information Prevention departments).

Also, my two newsletters are published only every 3 or 4 (or 5) weeks, and they’re devoted to pure teaching/problem solving. Although they reflect my personality and style, it’s all about “content.” They’re not a venue for whatever happens to be on my mind at the moment, and I write a little more “professionally” than I do here.

Finally, in my newsletters there’s very little opportunity for discussion. I wanted a place where there could be more “give and take,” just us pro’s talking.

And THAT is…uh….What was the question?