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One of the highlights of 2008’s International Radio Creative & Production Summit was the State-of-The-Art Station Imaging panel.

Here are our three imaging wizards, just before their session began. I guess I don’t need to tell you how excited they all were at having been invited; they’re all big fans of mine.

Terry Phillips, Howard Hoffman, Jamie Watson

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SON OF ANOTHER FIVE RADIO DEFINITIONS

Spec Spot — An audible, unsolicited invitation to say no.

Station Vehicle — The primary device by which excess gasoline is burned.

Traffic Department — Employees whose primary function is to take the blame for mistakes made by the sales department.

Consultant — A person who can predict with unfailing accuracy what happened a couple of years ago in a different market.

Weekend — The last two days of the Promotion Director’s work week.

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It’s not every day that a radio commercial achieves a 0% effectiveness rating. Congratulations to the advertising team at Wachovia.

The commercial’s goal is to get people to use Wachovia’s Way To Save Program, whatever that is. Meanwhile, the opening line is the commercial for the commercial: It’s your one chance to grab the attention of your targeted listener.

Does “One easy way to save money is to make sure the tires on your car are properly inflated” really attract the attention of banking customers?

And is that really a valuable tip?

If Wachovia truly believes “proper tire inflation” is an attention grabber, then here are some other gems they can use — no charge, my compliments:

“One easy way to save money is to turn off the air conditioning when the natural indoor temperature is below 40 degrees.”

“One easy way to save money is to wait to receive your change when using a $100 bill to pay for a McDonald’s Happy Meal.”

“One easy way to save money is not to carelessly drop it behind you as you walk down the street.”

And hey, not one…not two…but three Calls To Action.

Ending perfectly with an unintelligible disclaimer.

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RADIO PROGRAM DIRECTORS & STATION IMAGING

In the current issue of my Radio Programming Letter, I shared 10 Tips for PDs To Help Their Station Imaging Directors.

Knowing that some subscribers might disagree with some of my statements, I’ve created this post for them to respond.

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ANOTHER FIVE RADIO DEFINITIONS

Promotions Director — One who has the creativity necessary to explain why once again the station vehicle’s gas tank is empty.

Remote Broadcast — A chance for a disc jockey to be alone with his or her cell phone for a couple of hours.

Sales Meeting — A weekly break from selling radio advertising.

Sales Proposal — The primary means by which surplus copy paper can be disposed of.

Sick Day — The day before a three-day weekend.

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