≡ Menu

(Second in a series by Bobby Ocean.)

Splicing Block

We were using our Production Channeling Abilities to observe this period radio is going through as our golden opportunity. We also clearly see — not much in the way of competition.

We know, and listeners have heard, that corporate owners never learned elements of entertaining, plus are blinded by the crushing pain of their own debt load. This major dual handicap cannot be overstated. Their attention diverted, it ought to be easy to steal their audience.

HOMEWORK:
Listen to spots, promos, get good at “finding the sweet spot.” You don’t need anyone to help you with this exercise, especially if you do it enough.

“You are a Production (freak) (guru) (whiz) (addict) (marvel) (authority) (genius)!” All those things and more have been attributed to (you/me) and all of them are not at all who or what we are.

Speaking for self, it’s like when friends or family glimpse my frame hunched over gear in my working environment and declare, “Boy! You sure know a lot about computers!” Kinda nice they would think of me as competent, but nope, not with computers. Not so. Not really, not at all.

I run Macs, after all.

Actually, I only found out how to make certain applications in the computer, designed for what I do, operate as they were designed. Even then, I only learned because sound was going digital, I love what I do and I love to do it well.

You too, huh? No genius, no super powers, except when I’m/we’re  negotiating, of course. We’re every kind of ordinary folks who just happen to have a larger than usual portion of “I love audio/music/gear/radio,” that’s it. That’s more than enough.

Because of, and with that enthusiasm, we continue to try and find better and better ways to play. Ideas are everywhere.

Let’s start by looking at what we have been using and see how many ways we can update. Here’s an area in which we can all share thanks to Dan’s Comment section.

I’ll start, just to get things rolling, with what I think is a “universal technique,” that still works today in writing and production: Finding the “sweet spot” in any piece of production.

The “sweet spot” can be a variety of things — a jingle line or melody; the product or service’s price; chemistry between characters; the tag line; even the phone number. The sweet spot is attractice and not only charming, but charm’s peak, the simplest thing, the thing the listener will remember.

And if you can’t find one, all the better! You can be the ‘genius’ who writes one in.

The sweet spot is what we use for our fulcrum, our leverage point, our focus. Uses/styles of working the sweet spot include everything from tension to leverage to the cue when we change the music’s key.

Never has there been an easier period for alternative audio (and video) programming — of every device from online to hand-held — to woo away and create a loyalty among an audience. It’s as easy as picking low hanging fruit. Do your homework, make it fun, so you’re good at it.

{ 1 comment }
Negativity

A loyal reader writes:

“How do you deal with negativity at the station? I work for a PD and GM who seem to think they can do no wrong…and that the rest of the staff should be perfect like them. A week doesn’t go by that they don’t make some kind of negative comment, either to you directly or to others in your absence.

“Recently the PD was talking to a sales rep in the control room and I walked in without him knowing, just as he was telling the sales rep he wished he could get rid of every on-air announcer because they stink. He offered no apologies and seemed quite proud of what he said.

“Like I said, this happens at least once a week. The GM has said that we (the air staff) are killing the station. The first thought that pops into my head is to quit. Is there any way to just keep on trucking along or should I look for a another job? They are hard to come by these days. I’ve even thought about approaching the owner with the situation.”

1. If the PD thinks the entire air staff is terrible and the GM believes they are killing the station, I’m wondering: How competent are the people who hired the air staff?

2. They’re not going to change. If working for them makes you miserable, find another job.

3. Do not quit your job until you have another one lined up.

4. If you want to pursue radio as a career (rather than as a job), you must be willing to consider relocating to another market.

5. Approaching the owner will do one thing: Get you fired.

{ 16 comments }

Ah! You’ve returned to enjoy another in my series of critiques of award-winning radio commercials — those honored as “the best of the best” by the 2007 Radio Mercury Awards.

A few are Good. Many are…Not Good. Not Good To An Embarrassing Degree.

Like this $5,000 prize winner.

This is bad in some many different places, but let’s start with the only one that’s important:

It doesn’t work.

Why not?

Because they’re not painting a picture of the results.

It’s a wine sale. From the point of view of the advertiser, what is the desired result of  wine sale?

Just a hunch: selling lots of wine.

Here Comes The Clue Train

HERE COMES THE CLUE TRAIN

The picture you paint is what the listener will remember. So that picture should represent the results of the product or service being advertised.

The people who created this made a mistake that is painfully common to bad commercial copywriting: They seized upon a single word — “passionate” — and took it literally.

Apparently the idea is the people at the store are passionate about wine, and during the sale they’ll share their passion with you.

No, they won’t. During the sale, they’ll sell you wine…cheaper.

These guys think they’re being clever. They are mistaken.

“That is so hot.”

“Actually, I’m kind of chilly.”

That’s supposed to be witty?

Did you laugh when, bizarrely, she didn’t understand what he meant by “hot”?

Or did you think, “Jeez, she’s an even bigger idiot than he is”?

Do you believe — even in that nether world where we temporarily suspend disbelief — that those two people are married or living together?

They’re just two disconnected characters reading stupid dialogue, with no relationship at all between them.

And the capper? Just when you assume it can’t get any worse, this award-winning spot segues from really dumb dialogue to typically stupid advertiser-speak:

“Everyone knows” the advertiser has “great wine, great selection, and an unrivaled staff.”

Uh-huh. Sure. That’s what everyone says about this wine merchant. Especially that bit about their “unrivaled staff.”

When it comes to believable dialogue, David Mamet’s got nothing on these guys.

{ 3 comments }

BOBBY OCEAN’S SUNDAY RADIO CARTOON

Bobby Ocean radio cartoonsIllustration © 2009 by Bobby Ocean

{ 1 comment }

NO POLITICS. I JUST LIKE THE HARMONIES.

This blog has managed to remain 100% politics-free. I’ve tried to make this a safe haven for radio folks of all persuasions. I dearly hope that today’s offering doesn’t incite some reader to ruin our perfect record.

I’ve got a song I’ve been waiting to share with you. After the first couple of lines, you might think it’s presenting a political point of view. But if you keep listening, you’ll discover —

— Well, as a writer I hate to come right out and tell you what the song is about. A good song is a story, and it tells itself.

But in the interests of playing it safe and hoping that no one perceives their own political reviews as being attacked, I’ll tell you in advance. (In other words, “spoiler alert.”)

For years now I’ve wondered exactly when it was that we Americans (and also, it appears, Canadians) became incapable of tolerating people whose political beliefs are opposite our own.

I think — I think — there used to be a time when my neighbor could disagree with me and I wouldn’t hate him for it.

I don’t offer this song as any type of political or even social statement. Whatever your politics are, you are 100% correct. No need to make your case here, okay?

Moxy Früvous

Moxy Früvous

This is a now disbanded Canadian group called Moxy Früvous. Very big in Canada in the early 1990s. They specialized in witty, satirical topical songs.

The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation commissioned them to write a series of such songs…including one about “the first” Gulf War.

The biggest reason I’m sharing this song is I love the harmonies. You might. Or you might not.

I also love the verse about “25 years old…25 sweet summers…”

If you love or hate the song, praise or attack the music. Or attack my musical taste.

But please, do me a favor and — as I am doing — leave your deeply felt political beliefs outside. This ain’t about politics; it’s about human beings acting as human beings tend to act.

I’m sharing this with permission of Moxy Früvous.

{ 1 comment }