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LEAP OF FAITH RADIO PRODUCTION with Bobby Ocean

Now we’re talking writing material, like a commercial, from scratch. I like it now, used to dread it. But that’s one of the boons of experience – finding your strengths in any given field.

I found one of those strengths in outer space.

Managing

When I worked at XM Satellite Radio, I was one of their few experimental expeditions into allowing a host to originate from other than their studios, then located in Washington D.C. and I was tracking from my studio in California. I did a four-hour, afternoon, all-70s music show, heard from 3 to 7P in California and up through the different time zones to Miami where I was on daily from 6 – 10P.

Working with Lee Abrams and Eric Logan, I put together a different direction for the then disco-leaning all-70s channel. I added the “cosmic,” ingredient to my DJ persona and we were instantly and completely “stone free,” baby. Suddenly, on XM’s pre-set Seven button things weren’t the same for satellite listeners.

Between the music format and comically cosmic Space Jock, the 70s became mentally unstabilized and teetering on the psychedelic edge of logic and creation. – that is, freed from the typecast two-dimensionality of the dance fashions, and liberated from ALL conventional norms.

This took quite some amount of writing — averaged out to 120 liners a week and they had to be carefully written for a national audience. Further, I wanted to sound live, like I was having fun and able to blow a mind every now and then — without alienating people with difficult concepts.

It just came to me that with no staff, I had to create a playbook for myself with a limited quantity of proven moves, a fat set-list of 70s themes and scenarios within which to perform. To that end I devised a series of little formulas containing everything from time travel concepts to Eastern philosophies, all simplified and rendered into one-liners.

To physically write that much material required help, and none other than my own was forthcoming. How did it get done? The process required a small series of steps:

1. Turn on Awareness (get to the center where you “know that you know”).

2. Turn on Understanding (willingness to “go along” cranked open and up. Improvisers do this with their “no blocking” unwritten rule. They always move forward with a premise rather than stop and question it.)

3. Add Music List and station elements (artist, title, genre, story, specific reference lines; Channel-7, XM, special slogans like “Listen Large!” and other channels info); there was no end to cross-plug material;

4. Mix the basic ingredients around a bit to make different flavored drops, get out of the way and let it come.

For three years I kept things comic book simple, even Salvation, worked hard with my techs across the country, had fun, and my channel was always in the top three of all XM channels sampled, always killed the other satellite’s 70s attempt.

I don’t know if a similar thing will happen to you, but, once I turned the writing faucet on to Full Open, and got out of the way, the ensuing stream smashed any ideas I had in place about not being able to do it, and never trickled. The Stones’ Keith Richards was right when he said about writing, “it just comes, I receive it. It’s like…Incoming!”

BTW: No one says you have to turn off the understanding and awareness.

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NANCY WOLFSON COACHING VOICEOVERS …WITH RESULTS

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If until now the only voice acting direction you’ve received is “more energy” or “make it friendlier,” here’s a glimpse of someone with a different perspective.

As a former agent and casting director, Nancy Wolfson’s sole goal is helping the voice actor book the audition. And she’s very, very good at that.

Nancy had never met radio legend Bobby Ocean before he bravely stepped onstage at this year’s International Radio Creative & Voiceover Summit.

Granted, in Bobby she had a lot of talent to work with. Still, her keen ear and psychological insights are remarkable.

As are the results.

If you’d like to learn a lot more of Nancy’s methods for turning “good” performances into “hire that person!” performances, here is where you can download a nearly 3-hour recording of one of her live seminars. (I was there. It was a mind-blowing experience.)

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radio advertising graphicA loyal reader uploaded this radio commercial, which “includes an octo-man who is capable of handling several tools at one time.  I’m also wondering if La-Z-Boy is the name of the dude who produced this.”

This radio commercial does so many things wrong, I don’t even know where to begin critiquing it.

So I’ll leave it to you: How many advertising errors can you spot…in this spot?

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RADIO DJ FUNERAL

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Illustration © 2009 by Bobby Ocean

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May, 1995 (continued):

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As you might recall from last week’s installment, Caracol Radio had brought me to Colombia to talk to its salespeople about commercial copywriting.

Finally it was time for my speech/seminar (a combination of both). Now, I speak a little bit of “street Spanish,” but certainly not enough to deliver an entire presentation in that language. One or two sentences at a time is the most I can handle.

I can, however, read Spanish quite convincingly. My accent and pronunciation are pretty good, and if you heard me reading Spanish and you didn’t know better, you’d think I understood what I was saying.

In other words, this is the first time I’d spoken in a country whose native language I could at least fake. (On the other hand, I cannot even attempt to read aloud a sentence in Swedish, Dutch, Norwegian, German, etc., so in those countries I simply struggle to learn to say “thank you” convincingly.)

So I worked with a Spanish-fluent friend of mine to prepare two paragraphs with which to open my presentation. I deliberately did not tell my hosts that I had done this preparation; I wanted to surprise and delight them with my fluency.

I went over every phrase, every word. I rehearsed it again and again, paying special attention to certain words which I found difficult to pronounce.  I practiced my gestures, my pauses, my facial expressions.

By the time I mounted the stage to speak, I was ready.

In the very first sentence, I told the audience how excited I was to be enjoying my very first trip to Colombia.

The Spanish word for “trip” is viaje (vee-ah-hay). This was not one of the words I had had trouble pronouncing.

But in my nervousness, I said vieja (vee-ay-hah).

As you can see, these two words are identical.

Almost.

I mean, it’s the same five letters, with the “e” and the “a” transposed. All in all, a pretty tiny mistake.

Viaje means “visit.”

Vieja means “old woman.”

When I proudly and enthusiastically announced how excited I was to be enjoying my very first old woman in Colombia, 300 radio advertising people fell on the floor laughing.

Perhaps because of this humiliating blunder, my presentation seemed to take much, much longer than usual. Usually I am pretty good at estimating how much material I need to prepare for a given length of time, and I always prepare more material than I’ll have time for.

In this case, I knew my seven pages of notes would carry me through considerably more than the two hours I was scheduled to speak.

When I got to the end of Page 5, I figured I had 15-20 minutes left. I glanced at the little alarm clock I had placed unobtrusively on the lectern, and I was shocked: Only one hour had elapsed. An hour still to go and I had exhausted 70% of my prepared material.

How could this happen?

I slowed down. Way down. To a crawl.

After turning over Page 6, leaving me with just one more page of notes, I looked at the clock again. There still was one hour left.

I was very hot. (I told you it’s hot & humid there.) I was tired. I was embarrassed by my viaje/vieja debacle. And all I could do was stare at the clock and wonder, “How can this be? How can I have gone through an entire page of notes and still have an hour left?”

Then I realized: The clock had stopped.

I glanced at my watch. I had just five minutes left.

You know how relieved you are when you awaken from a nightmare and realize it was just a bad dream? That’s exactly how I felt.

Next Month: Getting frisked at Bogotá Airport…plus my train ride with skinheads in Germany.

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