DAN O’DAY TALKS ABOUT RADIO

A loyal reader asks:

“Let’s say you’ve followed up on an offer, they’ve flown you in, wined and dined you, sent you home to ‘think about it,’ and you then decided it was not, for whatever reason, the right position.

“Knowing from experience that there are a lot of flakey PDs and GMs out there who react in a hostile manner to a turndown, I ask:

“What is the proper way to turn down a job offer?”

My Advice:

Give them a specific reason — one that they cannot “fix” — and stick to it. Stick as close to the truth as possible:

• “You see the morning show as music intensive, and I want to do a show where I don’t play more than three songs per hour.”

•  “I do a heavily produced morning show, requiring several hours per day in the production room. But you have only one production room, and it would be available to me only after 5PM each day.”

•  “I’m a city boy, and I just don’t think I’d be happy in such a rural environment.”

• “To accomplish the goals that you have described for this show, I would need outside advertising and a healthy promotion budget. But you are not able to commit to those at this moment.” (I say “at this moment,” because undoubtedly they’ve told you they will give you those things “when the economy turns around.” But they won’t put that promise in writing.)

• “The salary is too low for my needs.”

• “We seem to have very different styles, and I think that very well could become a problem. We’re both very hands-on, headstrong individuals who are used to getting their own way. And I can sense we would end up clashing with each other. I’d rather pass up this offer and still remain friends with you, rather than accept the offer and lose a friend.”

If the real reason would insult them (“Having talked with you for five minutes, I can see you’re a complete idiot”), give another reason (like the “city boy in a rural environment” above) that is true…even if it’s not the real reason.

If they have offered you the job, expect them to argue with the reason you give them. Don’t try to debate the issue, because you might lose the debate and find yourself reluctantly accepting the wrong job. Instead, listen to what they say and then reply, “I understand what you are saying, and I appreciate your position. But I feel I am making the right decision…even though your offer is very flattering and tempting.”

Keep repeating that line as your mantra, no matter what argument is brought to bear against it.

At times, you will be tempted to accept the wrong offer simply because you do not want to offend the other party. If you ever feel that temptation, kick yourself very, very hard. When a prospective employer decides you are not right for a job you’ve interviewed for, that employer does not consider offering it to you simply out of fear of hurting your feelings.

I do not recommend offering any of the following reasons.

• “When I began in radio, I promised I would never work for anyone whose IQ is smaller than his belt size.”

• “Now that I’ve seen your operation, it’s obvious that this station is no more than six months away from being converted to a laundromat.”

• “Me, work here?? (Pause) Isn’t this the part where I’m supposed to wake up screaming?”

On the other hand, perhaps you can get them to change their minds about wanting you:

• “One more thing: I’ll need your written guarantee that I won’t be subject to any random drug testing.”

• “My last employer didn’t understand the importance of protecting the First Amendment right to free speech at all costs. He gave in to the slightest government pressure…even after I told him the courts probably would reduce at least some of the FCC fines.”

• “That’s a pretty cute daughter you’ve got. Want me to break ’er in for you?”

LEAP OF FAITH RADIO PRODUCTION with Bobby Ocean

Everything I ever needed to learn about the biz came from pure ignorance.
In other words, books, flicks, or jocks.

Movie Pearls and What They Mean In Radio Production
— “I’ll be back.” – Write with variety to avoid burning.
— “Bond. James Bond.” – Call letters in twice, once at the end.
— “Life was like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re
gonna get.’ – Variety & unpredictability are radio’s friends.
— “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn!” – Make it compelling.
— “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me?
Well, who the hell else are you talkin’ to? You talkin’ to me? Well, I’m
the only one here. Who the f–k do you think you’re talkin’ to?”
– Talk to one person at a time.

All knowledge is built up from not knowing. The mind needs labels and names so it can refer to its myriad of infinite material.

It happens all the time in radio production. One grabs a hunk of I-Don’t-Know, adds a favored pearl of wisdom, flops it down on the desktop and gets to know the nature of what one doesn’t know.

That’s the beginning. Saying,”I don’t know,” means you are empty of predetermined patterns, so, instead of what you may expect, you can more readily see what’s actually there, notice any patterns or behaviors that will reveal its essence.

Once you find that, the rest is easier: just spin to make it go in the right direction.

To get the “juice,” however, the good stuff, you have to dig deeper than the initial implication found on the mere surface, whether it’s Marvel comics, Buddhist scripture or the King James Bible.

For example, one of the air personalities was Not Very Good at reading and interpreting commercial copy, so, to get out of the conflict, would reference movies, saying things like: “A man’s gotta know his limitations.” Great movie line, especially when it comes out of Clint Eastwood’s mouth, but not great broadcasting advice. Far too scant for the Production Guy who has a deadline.

So, Production Guy dives deeper, realizes that, whatever he may be, “the man” in this quote is most certainly NOT the WORDS, “Not Very Good,” that make up his description. Nor is he any of those transient QUALITIES, but another thing altogether. And, while “a man could certainly benefit from knowing his limitations,” even better, he may can transcend his shortcomings entirely  by realizing they are really informal “information bytes in passage,” not permanent statistics.

So – knowing about limitations doesn’t necessarily mean being stuck with them, not at all. His or yours. Production Guy learns to coach talent through scripts. Not Very Good gets better, feels encouraged and motivated about the experience. But only when you dig deeper.

Usually.

Unless we’re talking about one guy, may he rest in Peace…one of my favorite air personalities, Chuck Browning, who, would not allow himself any production chores, as a point of pride. He was one of Peck’s original, old-school, bad boys and wore his rebellion as a badge of honor. He got away without voicing spots for years because no one could top his spin.

When asked to cut a spot, the Chucker would look em in the eye just long enough to get their attention, accept that as validation for what he said next, “You don’t plough a field with a thoroughbred.” And, while they were reeling over that, had disappeared down the hall and out of the building.

“Dig deeper!” — Victor Frankenstein to his lab assistant, Igor.

Please click on the “play” button on the  video immediately beneath these words.

Here’s a sample of one Simple Yet Attractive video player that was used to stream video online just 30 minutes after these people (who operate some kind of boating supply business — hardly techies) downloaded the software.

And here’s a complete description of this terrific, easy to use, inexpensive software that makes it easy for you to stream video from your website. Unless (sigh) you’re Mac user….

If you don’t want to have to look at me and/or hear me speak, here is a transcript of what the video at the top of this page says, more or less.

If you’ve been looking for a way to stream video from your website or blog easily — and I mean really easily — I’ve got the solution for you…

UNLESS you happen to be a 100% Macintosh person, as I am. The software I want to tell you about runs only on Windows (PCs, not Macs). But if you use PCs, you’ll love this.

In order to stream that video of mine from this blog, I had to use three pieces of software to convert it first. You can see the result on this page.

It’s not difficult. But it’s cumbersome. It takes a bit of time, and it’s a bit of a nuisance. I sure wish there were a way to do it easier and faster and better.

Unfortunately I haven’t yet found that solution for Mac users, but I did just stumble open something for PC Windows users.

That video of me at the top of the page? Pretty good quality, really. Not in terms of production values, but as online streaming video goes…It’s okay. Not bad.

But the player it streams from is pretty “plain vanilla.” Not much style. It’s serviceable, but it doesn’t give me many options.

Meanwhile, this new software I found is so easy to use; it lets you do so much — it’s amazing.

Just watch the 3-minute demo on the guy’s website and you’ll see for yourself.

If you’re a Windows user and you have a website or a blog and you have some video that you want to stream from it, this solves all your problems. It’s insanely easy, and it has tons of cool features that I wish I had on the software I use.

If there were a Macintosh version of the software I’m describing for you, I would be using it. Period.

So please go to the guy’s website and check it out. In fact, I’m even including a link to another site that is using the player. Just click on that sample link and watch the little video that they made within 30 minutes of downloading the software. They had never used online video before, and they had it streaming within 30 minutes.

After that charming little video plays, it automatically redirects you to another of that site’s pages…where another video begins to play and, apparently, you can’t stop it even if you want to. Never mind about that. I just wanted you to see their first video and how nice the player looks and how cool it would be to stream video easily from your own blog or website.

Oh, and if you do check out the sample video first: They’re using just one of a bunch of different styles of video players. You might opt for something very different to fit your own style.

And then go to the guy’s website and see if you think it’s as cool a product (at a cheap price, too) as I do.

Me? I’ll continue my search for something as easy, as cool and as useful for us Mac users.

But if you’re a PC user? Go get the software, make some videos, have some fun.

Last week I invited readers to submit their own renditions of this radio commercial, which was a finalist in the “Radio Station Produced” category of the 2007 Radio Mercury Awards.

I explained the voice talent’s “delivery is totally disconnected from the experiences his character is relating. The performance is so wrong that I have no idea if this spot actually could be good.”

Here’s that commercial once again.

No question, it is badly written. Mostly because they tried to cram too many words into that 60-second frame, but also because they worded the beginning of the story in a manner calculated to confuse the listener:

“The other day my darling, 14-month old child…”

This story is about a 14-month old boy. But because they  ambiguously identify him as a “child,” at least half the audience immediately envisions a little girl. In fact, it’s probably more than half the audience because the writer also included the adjective “darling.”

So every listener who begins by picturing a little girl suddenly has to mentally reboot when hearing, “He smiles at me.”

Radio Advertising Rule #17: Confusing the listener is Not A Good Thing.

The Winning Entry

The winning performance was submitted by Joe Szymanski, who tells the story naturally and whose emotions shift to match the plot points.

The sound of the dog barking at the end of the spot was gratuitous. A couple of other people including dog barking SFX, too. But this story isn’t about a dog. It’s about that 14-month old child.

But this competition wasn’t about production; it was about the voice acting performance. And Joe clearly submitted the best entry.

Thanks to everyone who entered — you know that yours was a close Second Place, right?

Meanwhile, Joe: Let me know which of my mp3 seminars or e-books you’d like as your prize.