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February, 1997: The Oklahoma Association of Broadcasters brought me to Tulsa to present two sessions at their annual convention: The Psychology Of Management and Real Life + Radio = 100% Local Every Day.

As you might know, I also conduct Customer Service seminars (both for radio stations and for their advertisers). The Warren Place Doubletree hotel offered a case study of managers who truly want to please their customers but do not have an adequately trained staff.

After checking in, I went directly to my room on the 5th floor…only to discover the card-key they gave me didn’t work. While I was fumbling with it, wondering if I was just too dumb to use it properly, another newly arrived guest tried to get into his room, next door to mine; his key didn’t work, either.

So I left my bags in front of my door, walked down the hall, and picked up a house phone. It rang 50 times or so, and then the operator connected me to the front desk.

I explained that my key didn’t work, and the desk clerk responded, “You’ll have to have a picture I.D. to get in the room. When the guy gets there with the new key, you have to have a picture I.D.” (Note that he did not apologize, express surprise and/or regret, or offer any explanation. Obviously this was not an uncommon experience for newly arrived guests, and it certainly didn’t bother him.)

When I finally got inside my room, I called the hotel manager to complain — not about the key that didn’t work but, rather, about the fact that this seems to happen a lot and that the front desk employees couldn’t care less. The manager listened and apologized; I thanked him for hearing me out.

After unpacking, I went outside for a long walk. (There’s a small park behind the hotel). When I returned to the room, I discovered waiting for me a bottle of wine and some fruit & cheese.

Voila! The hotel manager had demonstrated the sincerity of his regrets, and the earlier incident was forgotten. At least, for the time being…

…until that evening, when I made the mistake of ordering from Room Service. My dinner arrived, as promised, in 45 minutes. But the woman (Nancy) who took my order neglected to tell the kitchen I wanted a bowl of mushroom soup.

My Room Service waiter was very apologetic and said he’d be back with it immediately. Twenty minutes later I called Nancy to ask where my soup (the appetizer) was.

Oh, I think he just left with it,” she lied.

I asked why I’d been kept waiting so long. Nancy replied, “We’re really busy tonight.” No regret, no apology.

After waiting another 15 minutes, I called the evening manager to complain. It was an hour and 20 minutes after I had placed my order, my dinner was cold, and the soup still was nowhere in sight. The manager gave exactly the correct reply in a situation like this:

“What do you want me to do?” he asked.

I told him to forget the soup, and I would eat my cold dinner. But I wanted him to take the dinner charge off my bill (i.e., off the OAB’s bill). He immediately agreed, but he also insisted upon personally bringing me the soup (as well as my dessert, which Room Service also had messed up).

Clearly those two managers wanted to please their customers. But someone had failed to communicate this desire to the front-line employees who were responsible for virtually all of the hotel’s direct contact with those customers.

Moral: It’s not enough to believe in “Customer Service.” You need to teach it to everyone on your staff.

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TWO PROVOCATIVE RADIO COMMERCIAL HEADLINES

A while ago I taught my Guaranteed 5-Step System For Creating Radio Commercials That Get Results to members of the Hawaii Association of Broadcasters.

Much of this workshop focuses on teaching 20 different, unique styles of commercial “headlines” — the opening lines that determine whether or not the targeted listener will keep listening to the commercial message.

As I teach in this seminar, the opening line of a radio commercial is “the commercial for the commercial.” It is your one chance to attract and hold the attention of your targeted consumer.

Here are two of the headlines the attendees came up with.

One for a anti-smoking campaign: “If you don’t stop smoking, you’re going to start accessorizing: Iron lung, wheelchair….”

And the other for Viagara: “Are you a gigolo with too much low?”

Do your commercials begin in a way that forces your target audience to listen?

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LIVE Q&A ABOUT RADIO ADVERTISING

radio advertising seminarNext week I’ll be conducting a live, Q&A teleseminar devoted to the creation of successful radio advertising.

Free to participate…or just to listen in. (All you need to join us is a telephone.)

You’re invited. You’ll find all the information here.

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“WOULD YOU EVER RETURN TO A RADIO JOB?”

radio program director operations manager

A Loyal Reader Writes:

“Have you ever been asked or recruited to return to the world of day-to-day radio — perhaps as a cluster Ops Manager, General Manager, or group exec? Would you do it? Why or why not?

“(Okay, that’s actually three questions … but I’m curious to know what the circumstances would need to be to get you to ‘drive the bus’ again.)”

Until maybe 10 years ago, I used to get Morning Show offers several times per year.

Would you do it?

Nope.

Why or why not?

1. I don’t like working for other people. Long ago I decided that if I have to work for an idiot, I might as well work for myself. I prefer to have as much control over my destiny as possible — which means I get credit for my failures and for my successes.

2. One of my definitions of success long has been “not having to leave home.” Although I do spend a lot of time on the road, I spend zero time commuting. (The commute from my bedroom to my office takes approximately 30 seconds.)

3. I have no desire to spend any of my life in endless meetings or writing pointless reports.

4. I prefer to work my own hours (even if they’re far more than they’d be if I worked for someone else).

All of the above notwithstanding, I do still enjoy working with radio stations and groups that want to achieve meaningful morning show ratings growth or increased client retention via more effective radio advertising.

Thanks for your question. And now let’s continue with this week’s countdown….

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This is the opening line of a real radio commercial airing in Los Angeles.

With each passing day, my Bad Commercial Generator seems less and less like satire.

The advertiser who paid for such incompetent copywriting, by the way, is Slater Brothers Markets.

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