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Recently when a newly anointed radio station program director asked me for advice on how to become a good PD, the last of my tips was:

“Try not to turn into a jerk.”

Because you’ve probably never had to work with a jerk, here are two true stories about one Jerk Program Director.

Once upon a time, the charismatic architect of a wildly successful, very big radio station left the station he’d helped build.

radio programming stories

He was replaced by someone who had worked under him at that station. Kind of a short guy.

What he lacked in stature he attempted to make up for by acting Very, Very Important.

“The Short PD And The Morning Host”

The Short PD inherited a famous, talented, successful, and thoroughly professional morning jock.

The morning jock was required to report to the Short PD’s office after each show, to “meet” about the day’s program.

More often than not, the Short PD would open his mail and talk on the phone while the morning jock — who had just finished a 4-hour show in an extremely competitive market — sat. And sat. And sat.

The Short PD was showing the morning jock exactly who the big shot was in that station.

“The Short PD And The Production Director”

Because he had inherited a very successful radio station, The Short PD assumed that meant he was a genius.

In frequent flashes of inspiration, he would jot down liner copy to be recorded by the station’s outside voice guy.

Then he would email the copy to the voice guy, not bothering to include any instructions as to what kind of feeling he wanted the message to convey.

After all, when your words are brilliant, they need no explanation.

The voice guy (who was both well-known and talented) would record the liners without the benefit of any background or direction and then email an mp3 to the station’s production director.

The production director would find the mp3 in the morning’s in-box. Now it was his job to create a promo around the dry voice.

Because The Short PD was Far Too Important to explain his ideas to the production director, the production director (who was both well-known and talented) would apply his own experience, wisdom and instinct to the final realization of the recorded promo.

All too often, when The Short PD would hear the finished promo, he’d then storm into the production room: “What the hell is this supposed to be??” he’d demand.

After enduring this for several years, the production director decided he’d had enough.

He couldn’t take the The Short PD’s tantrums, his ego (i.e., his massive insecurity masquerading as supreme confidence), his abusive behavior to people who worked for him.

But before the production director could quit, a funny thing happened:

The Short PD left the radio station.

I don’t know if he quit or was fired. But I do know that under his “leadership” the station steadily (and severely) declined in market position.

A new PD was brought in.

The production director decided to stick around just a little while longer, to see what the New PD was like.

And the production director couldn’t believe it:

The New PD actually discussed upcoming promotions with the production director before starting work on the promo copy.

The New PD gave as much information as possible to the voice guy before the voice guy recorded the liners.

The New PD, the production director, and the voice guy actually worked as a team.

The production director is still there. So is The New PD (not so new any more).

It took some time to undo the damage inflicted by The Short PD, but the station’s ratings are very healthy now.

You can’t fake Leadership. Not even with lifts in your shoes.

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The other day I drove by an animal hospital.

In front of the clinic was a large electronic sign. Every few seconds the sign would display a photograph of…one or another of the veterinarians who work at the clinic.

I’ll bet that sign was pretty expensive.

I’ll bet the people whose images are displayed on that sign are proud.

Question: Of all the pet owners who drive by that clinic, what percentage would you estimate see those images and think, “Golly, that looks like the type of person I’d like to help my pet”?

Answer: Zero.

What should have those rotating images displayed?

Animals.

Rotate among the four types of pets most commonly treated at that clinic.

So the image of the lovable dog reminds one passerby of her dog. The image of the cat reminds someone else of his cat.

Just as in a good radio commercial: The message isn’t about the person who provides the service. It’s about the person who wants or needs the service.

In this case, it’s the person who happens to be a pet owner.

Simple, no?

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Joni Mitchell songwriter

One of the tips I recently offered radio program directors was:

“Read Weird Books.”

I explained why and gave some examples.

A few days later, I came across a perfect illustration of how truly creative people have their imaginations sparked by unlikely sources:

Joni Mitchell was an unknown songwriter, on an airplane, reading a book. The book was HENDERSON THE RAIN KING by Saul Bellow.

Saul Bellow wasn’t a musician, nor did he work in the record industry.

He was one of America’s greatest novelists.

The novel had nothing to with music, songwriting, or show business.

At one point in the story, the protagonist (Henderson) flies to Africa in an attempt to discover some meaning to his life. A passage in the book depicts Henderson looking out the window at the clouds below.

When Mitchell read that passage, she stopped for a moment and looked out her airplane window. And then she started jotting down some impressions and images as they occurred to her.

No one who knew both her profession and her background would have wondered why Joni Mitchell was reading, say, a biography of Charlie Parker or a book of poetry.

But for a young folk singer/songwriter, HENDERSON THE RAIN KING was a “weird” book for her to be reading.

And if she hadn’t read that “weird” book, it is 100% certain that she never would have written her breakthrough song: “Clouds.”

Your brain has the ability to make connections between seemingly unrelated elements. The more creative you are, the greater your ability.

But your brain does have that ability.

Trust it.

Get up right now, find a “weird” book, and set aside 30 inutes each day — starting today — to read it.

Oh, one more thing:

When reading that “weird” book stimulates new ideas for you, write them down immediately. Never, ever read anything without having access to a writing utensil and something to write on.

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This commercial aired on a big Los Angeles radio station on May 14, 2011.

Although obviously it’s terrible, it’s no more terrible than your typical “probably written by the secretary or intern” radio commercial copy.

But then I heard — Well, let’s see if you can spot it.

 

Once again, a radio station where no one assumes responsibility for making sure the client gets what the client paid for.

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John Frost KROQ frostbytesJohn Frost was a guest speaker at last year’s International Radio Creative & Production Summit.

I happen to believe John is one of the most brilliantly creative people in radio.

He’s been producing consistently clever, funny, outrageous, laugh-out-loud stuff for more than 20 years.

This video clip features one of John’s longer bits. ( In the complete seminar recording, he explains how it’s “based on real events.”)

 

Problems with this video? Click HERE to view on another player.

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