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First, lend your ears to this radio commercial…..

Who is this guy? He sounds like a slightly mellowed screaming car dealer announcer.

Do you believe he actually knows anything at all about Office Depot? Or about back-to-school supplies?

Do you believe he’s talking to the children who are responding to his rhetorical questions?

Yes, he should be talking to the parents who actually purchase back-to-school supplies. But when children answer his questions, by default we must assume that’s whom he’s talking to.

And even if he were talking to parents: Is that how you talk to mothers and fathers about preparing their kids for a new school year?

The Opening Line of A Radio Commercial Is Your One Chance To Grab The Attention of the Targeted Listener.

In fact, it’s the most important line of the entire advertisement.

Is this really the single strongest opening they could come up with?

“Who has the best back-to-school event in the business?”

Finally, if you force yourself to listen you can discern that they’re talking about school supplies for children, right?

So why, oh why, do they go out of their way to say, “Office Depot is dedicated to helping businesses and kids succeed”?

What does “helping businesses succeed” have to do with buying school supplies for little Johnny or Janie?

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A VIDEO FOR ALL RADIO MORNING SHOW HOSTS

John Birge turned me on to this video.

I can’t imagine anyone who’s ever been a radio personality not getting a kick out of this.

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CONTEXTUAL RADIO PROGRAMMING WITH MUSIC

I have written extensively about the importance of putting the music you play into some sort of context. I even coined a name for this that has become widely used: Contextual Radio Programming.

I’ve pointed out that the difference between a music personality and a jukebox is:

The experience of the song is always the same when played by a jukebox.

A while ago I found myself in a restaurant in England, having dinner with a couple of radio blokes the night before a seminar.

The restaurant had a music track in the background, consisting of pop hits from the early ’70s. Being an old radio programmer, during the dinner I found myself noticing & critiquing their music programming.

One pair of songs they played leapt out at me, because they shared a context.

Those songs were Don McLean’s “American Pie” and Roberta Flack’s “Killing Me Softly With His Song.”

Both had been massive hits, of course. But they form a unique context.

Radio music programming

In 1972, “American Pie” was nominated for Song of the Year and Record of the Year.

It lost both awards to a record by Roberta Flack: “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.”

In 1973, another Don McLean song — Perry Como’s recording of “And I Love You So” — was nominated for Record of the Year.

Once again, though, Roberta Flack came out on top, winning Song of the Year and Record of the Year again with “Killing Me Softly With His Song.”

Radio programming music

“Killing Me Softly With His Song” was written by Norman Gimbel & Charles Fox and originally was recorded by Lori Lieberman.

Lori had attended a performance at a small club in Los Angeles called The Troubadour, and she was blown away by one of the songs by one of the acts.

She described her feelings to Gimbel & Fox, and they turned her feelings into a song.

The singer who impressed her so much was…Don McLean.

And the song that affected her so deeply was…”American Pie.”

Pretty cool, huh?

That’s a context.

It’s also pretty solid evidence that you do not want to eat dinner with me….

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MAX SHULMAN’S ULTIMATE BEER ADVERTISEMENT

I just finished rereading Max Shulman’s ZEBRA DERBY, which was published in 1946.

Max Shulman

Misleading cover. The G-rated book isn't about his pursuit of women at ALL. It's a satire on post-war life.

In one chapter, the protagonist peruses the post-World War II advertisements in his local newspaper.

Including this one:

After all that Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer did during the war to keep up your morale, you’d sure have to be an ungrateful sonofabitch to stop drinking it now.

I like it.

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A Loyal Reader Asks:

“Could give me some insight into what GMs or Ops Managers look for when they ask for my ‘Programming Philosophy?'”

When someone asks you about your programming philosophy, usually it means someone once told them they should ask about that, so they ask.

Sometimes it means they’re looking to see if what you say exactly matches what they think.

Others — the smarter ones — want to see how you think…even if not every one of your thoughts matches yours.

Here are some all-purpose, safe, meaningless declarations to include in your Programming Philosophy….

“I believe we always should put the listeners first (while always remembering this is a business).”

“The way to market our station is to ‘be out there’ in the community (while always remembering this is a business).”

“Even if you can’t afford to pay top bucks, you can attract good talent by creating a fun, enjoyable, creative work environment (while always remembering this is a business).”

“No national or satellite station can ever beat a dedicated local radio station.”

“While we should take advantage of the latest technologies to deliver a superior product, that doesn’t mean we have to spend more money. Remember, ultimately this is still a business.”

“There’s no reason why Programming and Sales shouldn’t work together as a team. By golly, we’re in the communications business; so we should be able to communicate with each other!”

“You’ve got to plan your work and work your plan!”

“When it comes to music programming, nothing is more important than playing the right music. While research can be a helpful tool, it never can replace a good pair of ears and a solid gut instinct.”

* Radio should be fun. That’s why all dedicated employees should gladly work 12-hour days and six-day weeks with no extra compensation. Except, of course, for salespeople, whom you never should expect to see between 3 o’clock Friday afternoon and 9 o’clock Monday morning.”

“At the end of the day, it all boils down to establishing a deep, meaningful connection to our listeners, our community, and our advertisers (while always remembering this is a business).”

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