DAN O’DAY TALKS ABOUT RADIO

In a posting last week entitled Radio: Job or Career?, I talked about people in our industry who never further their professional educations because “the company won’t pay for it.”

For some reason, I was reminded of a story….

Once there were four auto mechanics: Manny, Moe, Jacques and Aaron. They all went to the Columbia School of Automotive Engineering together, and they all began their careers on the same day at Honest Ed’s Auto Repair.

Manny, Moe, Jacques and Aaron shared a common dream: Each wished someday to work on a race car at the Indianapolis 500.

After their first week at Honest Ed’s Auto Repair, Manny, Moe, Jacques and Aaron thought, “Wouldn’t it be great to have a subscription to Autos & Axles, the auto industry’s leading trade publication?”

But, alas, Honest Ed’s Auto Repair refused to pay for such a subscription.

“Why don’t we get a subscription ourselves?” suggested Aaron.

“Are you crazy?” responded Manny, Moe and Jacques. “A&A is expensive! Why, we each would have to give up one beer per week to pay for it! We’ll just wait until we’re making lots of money in Indianapolis, and then we’ll get a subscription.”

“Well,” said Aaron, “then I’ll get a subscription all by myself.” And so he did.

After their first month at Honest Ed’s Auto Repair, Manny, Moe, Jacques and Aaron thought, “It sure would be terrific to have a copy of THE ART OF AUTOMOTIVE REPAIR, by the legendary mechanic, ‘Mercedes Mike’ St. Michaels!”

But the book was very expensive and, alas, Honest Ed said there just wasn’t money in the budget to purchase it.

“I know!” exclaimed Aaron. “Let’s each pitch in a few bucks and buy it ourselves!”

“Are you nuts?” replied Manny, Moe and Jacques. “Why spend good money to learn what we already know? We’ll wait until we’re famous mechanics at Indy, and then we’ll write our own book!”

“Well,” said Aaron, “then I’ll buy the book myself.” And so he did.

One day after their first six months at Honest Ed’s Auto Repair, Aaron said, “Hey, guys! Look at the ad for this new wrench! I understand they’ve just started using this at Indy! Why don’t we get one?”

“Have you taken leave of your senses?” chortled Manny, Moe and Jacques. “You know Honest Ed will never pay for it.”

“Why don’t we pay for it ourselves? It’ll give us a big advantage over all the other repair shops in town.”

Manny, Moe and Jacques exchanged a weary look. “We’ve got better things to do with our money,” they said. “Once we get to Indianapolis, then we can buy all the fancy wrenches we want. But knowing what a sucker you are, you’ll probably go ahead and get it yourself.”

And so he did.

One evening after their first year at Honest Ed’s Auto Repair, Manny, Moe and Jacques came upon Aaron in Repair Bay #2.

“Hey, Aaron,” they said. “C’mon, we’re going down to the Pump & Piston to get good ’n’ drunk.”

“No, thanks,” said Aaron. “I’m trying to figure out a faster and better way to service automatic transmissions.”

“Why?” demanded Manny, Moe and Jacques.

“That way I could do a better job for Honest Ed and for our customers.”

“What’s your point?” asked Manny.

“Why bother?” snorted Moe.

“We’ll be working faster than anybody in the world when we’re at Indy,” insisted Jacques. “But if you want to stay here and play with transmissions, go right ahead.”

So Aaron stayed behind and missed out on an evening that was so much fun that Manny, Moe and Jacques threw up for the next three days.

A year and a half after they started at Honest Ed’s Auto Repair, an excited Aaron came upon Manny, Moe and Jacques and said, “Hey, guys! Guess what! There’s going to be a big Auto Mechanics Convention next month, and all the best mechanics from Indy will be there to demonstrate —”

And at this, Aaron stopped. Suddenly he became aware of the expressions on Manny, Moe and Jacques’ faces, and he realized they were laughing at him.

He turned and, still holding his convention registration form, walked away.

“Have a good time at the big con-VEN-tion!” Manny, Moe and Jacques guffawed.

Several years have passed since that first day when the four novice mechanics began working together.

Manny, Moe and Jacques still work at Honest Ed’s Auto Repair.

They still laugh at suckers who buy books about auto repair, fools who subscribe to automotive trade publications, and jerks who attend automotive seminars and conventions.

And every year they receive a postcard from Aaron… postmarked, “Indianapolis.”

In a commercial, the person who is depicted enjoying the results of the product or service should represent the target audience. Do you really want to identify with that guy?

And I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure Mrs. Stupid suddenly turned into The Announcer. (Either that or the people who produced this spot cast two women with voices that are far too similar.)

Also:

“For the ultimate music experience, visit the AT&T blue room…. You’ll have the best online experience possible.”

I realize “the new AT&T” has adopted a slimmed-down business model, but can’t they afford to hire a writer? Someone who knows enough not to use the word “experience” twice in nine seconds?

Using “experience” even once would have been too much, of course. That’s because nobody — NOBODY — is looking for the best online experience.

Lots of people would like to watch concerts by their favorite artists, with crystal clear video and “it’s like I’m in the first row” audio.

But not a single person woke up this morning and thought, “By golly, if only I could have the best online experience possible.”

In the current issue of my Radio Advertising Letter, I shared a station promo that I thought could be greatly improved by making it half as long.

So I made a couple of quick edits, and the original 53-second promo became a 29-second promo.

Radio Advertising Letter readers: Which do you think is stronger? Why?