A Loyal Reader forwarded me a list of bullet points a client expected him to weave into the radio commercial he was going to write for them.
I have changed the city and business category, to disguise the client’s identity.
15 bullet points in all.
Here are the first three.
1. Family owned and operated
2. 2nd place, 2012 Best of Fresno
3. Best home security company in Fresno
Um….
Don’t #2 and #3 contradict each other?
Are they the best home security company in Fresno, or are they the second best?
And if they were voted second best and you were looking for a security company to protect your Fresno home, wouldn’t this commercial make you want to find out what the best company is?
On the other hand, they are family owned and operated.
Comments on this entry are closed.
Hey, as long as there’s plenty of free parking, who cares?
Unless you left it out of the list of points, they really need to ad “A tradition of excellence since 1973.” ‘Cause that really brings ’em in!
Methinks it’s time to break out the Bad Comercial Generator!
@Brent: No, but they did have a bullet point that says “Pride that shows!” and another that says “We have pride of ownership.” But there’s nothing to tell us how long they’ve been proud.
Are they conveniently located? Is their staff friendly and knowledgeable? And for cryin’ out loud, what’s the phone number?! Please repeat it at least three times. It’s hard to write it down while I’m flying down the 99!
Not necessarily. The “best of” poll was probably a local newspaper thing and who knows what other businesses were lumped into their category. They could have been included with several home improvement business or other types of home security that don’t compete or compare with them directly. Or maybe the #1 business was not physically located IN Fresno.
You get around the #2 question by simply stating that they were “tops” in the 2012 Best of Fresno rankings. Or some other nebulous phrase.
Or you could just omit that stupid phrase anyhow since it’s nothing more than an ego boost for the owners and does nothing for the consumer. Whoops, I mean never forget that the main purpose of advertising is to stroke the ego of the client.
NEI – Not Enough Info! Are they there for all my home security needs? Are they proud sponsors of the Fresno State Bulldogs, the Fresno Falcons, or the Fresno Grizzlies? Can I follow them on Facebook and Twitter, or at least visit their website? And if they’re not the biggest – and I’ve tried the rest – should I just assume they’re the best and try them anyway, despite their #2 status?
I guess I’m just feeling insecure.
It’s simple. They’re the best of all the Second Place home security companies in Fresno. Or something like that. And I bet their people make the difference.
Ugh, of all the bad commercial cliches, “Family Owned & Operated” tops my list…or at least comes in 2nd Place.
As long as they have clean, wide isles… I’m there!