{"id":20594,"date":"2019-01-14T00:01:30","date_gmt":"2019-01-14T08:01:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/danoday.com\/blog\/?p=20594"},"modified":"2019-01-14T00:09:24","modified_gmt":"2019-01-14T08:09:24","slug":"radio-commercial-critique-sprinkler-systems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/danoday.com\/blog\/2019\/01\/radio-commercial-critique-sprinkler-systems\/","title":{"rendered":"Radio Commercial Critique for Sprinkler Systems"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"radio<\/a><\/p>\n

A Radio Advertising Advantage<\/a> member asked me to critique this commercial.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

I’m sharing this sprinkler radio ad with his permission, with the sponsor name and phone number changed.<\/span><\/p>\n

In a perfect world, it rains when you need it. <\/span><\/p>\n

In the <\/span>REAL world, you push a button and <\/span>make <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

it rain <\/span><\/span>with your state of the art sprinkler <\/span><\/p>\n

system from <\/span>Sprinkler World! Not only can <\/span>you <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

turn on the rain, <\/span><\/span>but you can save water with <\/span><\/p>\n

new water efficient <\/span>nozzles. Freeze and <\/span>rain <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

sensors will automatically <\/span><\/span>shut off the system <\/span><\/p>\n

when icy and when it rains \u2014 <\/span>saving <\/span>your money <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

and water! For a free quote call <\/span><\/span>555-55-5555. <\/span><\/p>\n

OR book on Facebook and save <\/span>five-percent! <\/span><\/p>\n

Sprinkler World. Things just got greener.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dan\u2019s Comments<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n

Good opening line.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“state of the art sprinkler system”<\/em> <\/span><\/p>\n

That’s pretty generic and unconvincing. <\/span><\/p>\n

Does the sprinkler system have a name? <\/span><\/p>\n

If it’s XYZ Company’s Digital Autoflow sprinkler system (I’m just making that up), then you could say, “…make it rain with your own Digital Autoflow sprinkler system.”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Otherwise, what it says to me is, “If you want to be able to water your lawn, you should get a sprinkler system.”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Freeze and rain sensors will automatically shut off\u00a0the system when icy and when it rains \u2014 saving your money and water!”<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Those points have genuine value, but\u00a0I\u00a0don’t think what stops someone who needs a sprinkler from getting a sprinkler system is the fear of wasting money and water when it’s icy or raining.<\/span><\/p>\n

You need to identify:<\/span><\/p>\n

1) What makes the targeted consumer want to buy a sprinkler system<\/span><\/p>\n

and<\/span><\/p>\n

2) What is stopping that person from buying one already.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This spot starts strong but then runs out of steam after “\u2026you push a button a make it rain.”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

You have two Calls to Action<\/a><\/strong>,<\/span> and they’re contradictory.<\/span><\/p>\n

One says to call for a free quote.<\/span><\/p>\n

The other says to save 5% by booking on Facebook.<\/span><\/p>\n

As a listener, “booking on Facebook” = buying.<\/span><\/p>\n

So one Call to Action is to get a free quote, while the other is to buy on Facebook and save some money.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pretty good tag line. <\/span><\/p>\n

This would be better:<\/span><\/p>\n

“Things just got greener\u2026with Sprinkler World.”<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

That way, the tag line ties the benefit to the advertiser’s name.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A Radio Advertising Advantage member asked me to critique this commercial. I’m sharing this sprinkler radio ad with his permission, with the sponsor name and phone number changed. In a perfect world, it rains when you need it. In the REAL world, you push a button and make it rain with your state of the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[245,261,194,262,247],"class_list":{"0":"post-20594","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"tag-effective-radio-ads","8":"tag-radio-ad-copywriting","9":"tag-radio-advertising-expert","10":"tag-radio-commercial-critique","11":"tag-radio-copywriting-tips"},"yoast_head":"\nRadio Commercial Critique for Sprinkler Systems<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I was asked to critique this radio commercial for a company that sells and installs homeowner sprinkler systems. 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