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This really should not be a difficult concept to grasp:

radio copywriting tipsIn a radio commercial, what the listener pictures is what the listener remembers.

This Mercedes spot goes out of its way to paint pictures that do nothing to deliver or support the sales message while spouting that message in a manner that guarantees few will hear it and none will remember.

Here’s the Mercedes radio commercial.


Notice how the spot grabbed your attention from the beginning?

“You grew up together. Went to college together,” delivered conversationally.

“Ah,” you thought. “This is going to tell some sort of human story. Let’s see where it goes.”

You pictured the best friend standing up at the wedding reception and raising his glass to make a toast.

The only additional mental image you experienced might’ve been of someone in the wedding party inexplicably whistling in the background.

If you heard that commercial on the radio, 5 minutes later I could’ve asked you, “You know that commercial you just heard, where the guy makes a speech at his best friend’s wedding? What were they advertising? What action did the advertiser want you to take?”

“Uh,” you’d reply, “something about…um…some car or something??”

Radio Storytelling Tips

Just for a moment, let’s pretend that story does lead to a strong sales message.

1. Don’t have the announcer also play the part of the best friend.

We already see him as that guy who’s talking to us through that electronic device.

But suddenly he’s “you” — the best friend making the toast?

The listener doesn’t see the best friend.

The listener sees the announcer playing the role of the best friend.

Abruptly it becomes clear this isn’t some human story. It’s …some sort of dumb commercial.

2. If you were reading a novel and came across a sentence that said, “She was crying. Tears were streaming down her face,” you might well think, “Well, yeah. That’s kinda what happens what a person cries. Once you said she was crying, I assumed tears were involved.”

That would be bad writing.

In a radio story (in a commercial or as entertainment), if a character clears his throat and begins to speak, prefacing those actions with the announcer’s declaring, “He clears his throat and says” is bad storytelling.

Helpful Suggestion for Mercedes

Fire the ad agency that you paid to create that drivel.

Create your own drivel. There must be an intern around with a few minutes to spare.

Take the money you otherwise would’ve paid the agency and donate to a worthy charity.

Download free radio copywriting seminar here.

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radio account executivesRecently a member of David Tyler’s Radio Imaging & Production group on Facebbook posted this question.

I’m reprinting it here with permission of the person who posted it as well as with David’s permission.

Scenario: A regular client at the station wants to use the announcer that voices their spots, to also voice their “on hold message and telephone navigation system”. They also want you to produce it. The sales rep has promised all this to them at no cost and no compensation to the producer or the announcer (but still collecting his commission of course)… Do you risk your job fighting it?

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Danny Dark demo: "A Very Good Pronouncer"This is a voice over demo that Chuck Blore produced for Danny Dark in 1966 [continue reading…]

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10 RULES FOR WRITING A CRIME MOVIE

 

The best detectives are divorced alcoholics with gambling addictions who cut corners wherever they can, have problems dealing with authority figures, and haven’t gotten over the death of their child several years ago. [continue reading…]

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radio commercials that use jinglesA Radio Sales Manager Writes:

“I’ve got a client who is talking about wanting a jingle. I’m curious what your thoughts are on jingles in commercials.” [continue reading…]

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