DAN O’DAY TALKS ABOUT RADIO

This ain’t radio, but it’s a very cool event I co-produce with a TV superstar buddy.

If you’ve ever dreamed of leaving radio behind and writing sitcoms for a living (which is exactly what my co-producer did), we’re now accepting registrations for The Sitcom Room.

June, 2003: In mid-June, I conducted The Psychology of Management for Jackie Lett and the Mississippi Association of Broadcasters convention in Gulfport, followed on Sunday by a full-day version of Air Personality Plus+ in nearby Biloxi. I knew it was going to be a great visit when I arrived at the hotel just in time to enjoy the MAB’s terrific cajun dinner buffet.

Ten days later I presented The Psychology of Management for Judy Smith (and Bob Ganzer, who prompted the decision to bring me in) and the Virginia Association of Broadcasters. Immediately after the seminar, I rushed to the hotel lobby, grabbed my bags from the bell station, jumped into a waiting taxi and hollered, “The airport — and step on it!”

I arrived at Norfolk airport 20 minutes before my flight to Atlanta, where I changed planes and flew to Manchester, England. I slept on the plane and was met at Manchester Airport by someone who drove me to Blackpool, about an hour away.

Lin Glover and Amanda McAllister already had registered me with the hotel, which allowed me to go directly to my room, shower, change my clothes, and then go right back downstairs to present What Every Radio Station Manager Should Know About Programming for the UK’s national Programming & Promotions conference, which was attended by virtually every independent radio station in the UK.

Shortly after my speech, Amanda forced me (I was happily talking radio with the attendees) back into a taxi for the ride back to Manchester Airport, just in time to catch a 6:30PM flight to Oslo, Norway…where the next day I conducted an air talent seminar for Svein Larsen, Mary Crouch and the staff of brand new station Radio P4.

Although originally I had been scheduled to return home the following day, Mary’s incessant bragging about the beauty of Norway convinced me to add a rare “walking around” day before flying back to Los Angeles.

All of that was so long ago. Here’s what I remember about the various travels.

I was quite excited to be booked to speak to Virginia broadcasters, because I began my radio career in the tiny Virginia town of Chatham.

The airport in Atlanta had a very impressive “food court” in Terminal A. Because I had a 3-hour layover and knew I’d want to sleep on the flight to England, I ate dinner at the airport. Doesn’t sound very appetizing, but I had a terrific Chinese dinner at “Manchu Wok” — I highly recommend their egg rolls.

Although Blackpool is well-known to the British as a beach resort, I never had heard of it until this trip was booked. Frankly, the name sounded kind of depressing. But (back in 1993) it looked like a booming, exciting, fun resort area, and I sorely wished I could have spent time wandering around. Instead, I viewed it from the window of my taxi.

It was on my flight to Oslo that I decided that airports should add a special security checkpoint to make sure that all departing passengers are reasonably well acquainted with soap or deodorant or both.

My stay in Norway was far too brief. Oslo has done an admirable job of limiting growth; as a result, the city looks much as it did 60 years ago. (I doubt, however, that the huge Toyota sign towered over the city in previous decades. And I’m not sure how well that gigantic can of Coca Cola being poured into a gigantic cup fit in.)

My hosts housed me in Oslo’s Grand Hotel, and it truly is grand. I could have spent an entire day just wandering its halls.

The hotel was playwright Henrik Ibsen’s second home. P4 managed to put me in the “Nobel suite,” where every Nobel peace price winner has stayed. I didn’t even known I’d been nominated.

My balcony overlooked the town square, which was filled with people long into the night. (Being late June, it didn’t get dark until quite late at night.)

What device are Norwegians quite proud of having invented?

The cheese slicer.

Yeah, I know: Norwegians also invented the paper clip. Get over yourselves already.

You rarely see chicken on Norwegian menus; it’s extremely expensive, not being an indigenous fowl. Oslo does, however, have a (sigh) McDonalds — a very large, two-story affair that features not only Big Macs (27 kroner) but also Norsk McLaks (Norsk = Norwegian; Laks = salmon).

The day after our seminar, Svein Larsen sacrificed his Sunday to take me on an insider’s tour of Oslo. It truly is a beautiful city.

The next day at Oslo airport, a Delta employee managed to reroute my return trip so I wouldn’t first have to fly back to England and then to the States. When, after much time & effort, she told me she could make the changes I wanted, I smiled and gave her the “A-OK” sign with thumb and forefinger…only too late remembering that that means something entirely different outside the U.S.

Delta had incredible security at that airport. Before being allowed to get in line to go through Security, every passenger was personally interviewed by a security officer. One came to interview me while I was waiting for the Delta agent to rewrite the ticket. (Remember, this was long before 9/11.)

On the connecting flight from New York to Los Angeles, I found myself wishing the airplane had a “NO GUM POPPING” sign in the cabin. Gum Poppers appear to be genetically incapable of interpreting dirty looks from annoyed neighbors.

I’m in a doctor’s waiting room, waiting to be called in for my appointment. I forgot to bring my own reading material, so I wander over to their magazine rack in search of something to help pass the time.

They have multiple copies of just two magazine titles.

One is Biking. Undoubtedly, this has great appeal to people who spend large parts of their lives on bicycles. I don’t happen to be one of those people. But one of the doctors there must be.

The other magazine is Stroke Connection. No, it’s not about swimming. It’s about strokes — the kind where a person’s arteries fail to provide enough blood to the brain. It’s published by the American Stroke Association. Undoubtedly a fine organization. But not my idea of reading enjoyment.

Radio Programming Application:

What magazines are in your station’s lobby? Old trade publications? Local business publications in which you advertise? Or do you offer only recent magazines of broad, general interest?

Look, what is the profile of the person who reads the magazines in your lobby?

• They’re waiting.
• They don’t know how long they’ll have to wait.
• They’re uncomfortable in an unfamiliar environment.
• The longer they wait, the more they resent you.

You can aggravate all of the above conditions by insulting that person with magazines that are there for no reason other than someone thinking, “Hey, why don’t we put them in the lobby instead of just throwing them out?”

Or you can put your visitor (advertiser, potential employee, listener, community member) at ease by showing genuine concern for their comfort.

Four types of magazines you should offer your visitors:

• People
• Sports Illustrated
• Time or Newsweek
• “Women’s” magazine (Redbook, etc.)

Your lobby affects your relationship with each person who waits there. Do you want that affect to be pleasurable…or annoying?

Finalist, Lamest Segue:

“And now, continuous light rock continues….”