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A SKEPTICAL AD COPYWRITING LESSON

Here’s a radio commercial copywriting lesson taken from a direct mail piece.

Recently I received a letter from the Skeptics Society, inviting me to attend a 3-day conference.

Although the left third of the envelope has lots of stuff — return address, 10 thumbnail photos, text intro to the block of photos — your eyes immediately are drawn to this doggie command:

“Compare the expertise of our speakers to those at any other conference.”

I have but one question regarding the marketing for this event:

“Are these people insane?”

Is that how they believe people select a conference to attend — based not upon the topics covered, information to be learned, contacts to be made but rather upon whether there is any other conference, anywhere, devoted to any area of interest, whose speakers have expertise at least equal to this conference’s speakers?

Let’s assume that people attend such a conference because they want to learn something.

1. Have you ever encountered someone who is expert in his/her field but you’d never want to have to listen to?

2. Have you ever encountered someone who is expert in his/her field but is a poor communicator?

3.  If the ideas around which the Skeptics Society coalesce appeal to you, will you be less likely to attend their conference if you discover another gathering devoted to…oh, say “Electrical Engineering,” and that conference has guest speakers whose expert credentials are more impressive than those of the Skeptics Society’s speakers’ credentials?

A cursory review of the speakers’ bios indicates there’s not a single Nobel Prize winner among them. Meanwhile, that Electrical Engineering conference might have two, maybe even three Nobel Prize winners. So, I guess we all should go to the Electrical Engineering conference, huh?

Much of the expertise of the speakers at this conference is substantiated by their many appearances in the media — hardly proof of “expertise.” Although to be fair, one of their outstanding speakers “was a scientific consultant for Star Trek: The Next Generation.”

If there’s anyone reading this who thinks  Star Trek: The Next Generation represents a bastion of scientific advancement, please raise your hand. Now take that hand and — not too forcefully — smack yourself in the face.

Hey, my conference features a guy who was a scientific consultant for both Superman and Batman Returns. That’s expertise!

But wait. It sounds as though I’m mocking those guest speakers. I’m not.

I’m mocking the inane attempt at advertising the value those speakers presumably will bring to the lives of conference attendees.

Advertise the Results the Product/Service Promises.

If those expert speakers will be saying something worth hearing, they deserve an advertising campaign that captures the attention of the people who would be most interested.

Based upon this terrible, full color, multi-fold direct mailing piece…

Frankly, I’m skeptical.

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MEGHAN TRAINOR – RADIO JINGLE STAR

Pop star Meghan Trainor certainly is generous — apparently licensing “All About That Bass” for so little money that even small market, small businesses can afford to use the song in their commercials.

First it was a burger joint in Michigan. Now it’s a heating & air conditioning company in Louisiana.

It’s not surprising that a small business owner isn’t conversant with copyright laws. After all, I wouldn’t ask an intellectual property attorney to fix my air conditioner.

But just as the HVAC company’s customers rely on the company’s expertise in installing or repairing heaters and air conditioners, the business owner needs to trust that a federally licensed radio station wouldn’t allow him to run afoul of copyright laws (while also exposing themselves to financial damages from the copyright holder).

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ONLY IF YOU REMEMBER “GIRL GROUPS”

Hot ToddiesAlthough I never especially cared for “girl groups” (The Angels’ “My Boyfriend’s Back” being one notable exception), what I love about this recording is how faithful they are to the original form. Not even for a moment do they lose their focus or stop to wink at the audience.

That’s a great lesson for radio people who attempt to do comedy or satire on-the-air: Write it funny, play it straight.

The group is The Hot Toddies. I first heard this in 2008*, at which time I contacted them for permission to share the song on my blog.

*Hence the reference to “Ask Jeeves.” And, for that matter, “DSL.”

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radio-promotion-rulesThe promotion director of a certain large market radio station sent a memo to the station’s morning host, asking:

“Do you want me to type up a winner sheet for every contest you guys do in the morning, or can we do a generic one? Let me know your thoughts…”

The morning host — a very well-known, very successful, very professional veteran personality — replied as follows:

I need a winner sheet for EACH SEPARATE CONTEST for several reasons.  

1) Because of the immediacy of radio; things change quickly and at the last minute. Often sales-oriented contests have last-minute changes. This means that I need an updated form with specifics of each contest the day we start it. NOT TWO WEEKS AHEAD of time.

Since I do not attend the promotion meetings (because the morning host is not invited), I am NOT privy to the intricacies of each contest. That’s why I would appreciate:

  A)  An e-mail detailing the contest the day before it starts.

  B)  A contest sheet as a backup IN THE PRIZE BOOK as we
previously discussed (on more than one occasion).

2)  I need to know the contest has been approved, signed off on, and otherwise tweaked by you and the program director. Just because I talk to a salesperson does NOT, repeat, NOT mean that we are doing a contest. Often I chat with salespeople to give them ideas on what we feasibly could do to help a client, but it is ALWAYS subject to approval from the Promotions and Program Directors. That’s why I need a separate winner sheet for EACH contest.

3) Although we have listeners who win more than one contest, most of our winners are not aware of when a movie pass, concert ticket, etc., will be available — and if it isn’t, when they can pick it up. We have many prizes, and each contest is different.

Also, as far as concert tickets are concerned, we have had a problem in the past with overzealous DJs giving out more tickets than we have, or listeners claiming that we have given them a prize when, in fact, we haven’t. Therefore, numbered sheets with jocks’ names on them in the case of hard-to-get tickets would be optimal. This is known in most businesses as Inventory Control.
   
On the other hand, if we have a movie house full of tickets, then I believe you could supply one sheet for the movie and we can Xerox off copies to give to the front desk.

4)  The necessary items on each winner’s sheet should include (but not be limited to):
   Winner’s information
   A description of the prize
   How many of the prizes we have to give away (assuming it’s a purely morning show prize)
 Whether we need to get an aircheck for the client and/or sales department
   Whether a specific tag is needed for the client
   In the case of tickets, the date of the event
   Any other specifics of the event; e.g., other groups on the concert bill, or for a sporting event, the opposing team
   Whether the tickets/passes include any special type of
entertainment: backstage, food, drink, etc.
   Whether you must be a certain age to get into the event (e.g., if liquor is served, you must be of age)
   If transportation is included, and if so, what it will be (limo, train tickets, etc). Also, whether we need to mention the transportation provider.

Now, that said, it shouldn’t be too much for the air personality to ask that the above items be specified in one or two easy-to-read paragraphs so that we can:

(1) Do a solicit with the first one over the beginning of a record

(2) Do the second one in a backsell briefly with the winner.

You will need to somehow highlight the information that should be given to the winner but that does not need to be given over the air.

If this reply is too specific, it’s probably because I don’t feel I should be wasting my time with something like winner’s sheets and contest specifics that should be common sense to a promotion director in a market of this size. Let’s move ahead because we have at least one MAJOR promotion a month with the morning show alone that we have to get on track as well as the various weekend contests and standard giveaways that stations like ours do as a matter of course.

Recommended Radio Promotions Resources

The Greatest Radio Promotion Ever

How to Recruit & Train a Radio Street Team 

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WELCOME TO CONSUMER FACING ADVERTISING

Consumer Facing AdvertisingA loyal reader, Chuck Buell, writes:

I thought you might find this from a recent copy writer job posting of interest. Among the requirements for the job:

“…compelling consumer facing copy is required.”

What?? “Consumer facing copy?!”

Okay, is this a common term being used today of which I’m not aware? Who talks like that??

Yep, “consumer facing” has become commonly used in advertising circles.

When you strip away the psycho-jargon, essentially it means “communicating” — or, God forbid, “interfacing” — “directly with consumers.” You know, the people who actually buy stuff.

Consumer Facing Advertising Should Not Be Confused with Any of the Following.


Client Facing Advertising:
Makes clients feel good about themselves. Most often this is done either by declaring as true what the clients wish people were saying about them or by boasting about dubious accomplishments and pedigrees.

    (See this example of a hospital making a rather weak boast about its rankings among other cancer hospitals.)

Industry Facing Advertising: The primary (sometimes only) goal is to impress your peers and your competitors with the brilliance of your advertising.

Award Facing Advertising: This, of course, is how large ad agencies impress new prospects. “Well, no, we can’t tell you if our client made money or lost money with that campaign; that’s privileged information. But just look at all these awards we won for it!”

Film Facing Advertising: Flashy TV advertising directed by people who use it as a stepping stone to a hoped-for moving directing career.

Look How Creative I Am Facing Advertising: Created by the individual who secretly nurses his dreams of one day finishing his novel about an advertising guy who becomes a famous, wildly successful novelist. In the meantime, you can catch his presentations about “Creativity” at ad industry conferences.

Artistic Facing Advertising: It’s not commerce, dammit. It’s ART! You know it has succeeded when viewers/listeners/readers are unable to identify either the advertiser or whatever it is the advertiser is trying to sell.

Anywhere But Results Facing Advertising: Still occasionally (and erroneously) known as “branding.” “Well, no, there’s no way to measure the effectiveness of this campaign. That’s not how advertising works. It’s too mysterious for you to understand. Just trust us.”

Lawyer Facing Advertising: Advertising in regulated industries, making claims that are so barely supportable or offers that are so heavily restricted that the entire advertisement is one long disclaimer.

Perks Facing Advertising: Most commonly found in glossy print advertising, usually dictated by exotic locales that are on the agency’s creative director’s bucket list.

Paying The Bills Facing Advertising: Advertising created by people who are biding time until they “can find a real job.”

Recommended Ad Copywriting Resources

Conversational Dialogue in Radio Commercials

How to Write 100% Original Radio Copy

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