≡ Menu

I’m sorry to report that Eastwood Insurance’s radio advertising hasn’t improved since it was featured in an earlier Monday Radio Commercial Smackdown.

Here’s the latest.

The only real selling point of this spot is “$37 down and low monthly payments” — which is mentioned in the opening line and never again. By the end of the commercial — heck, by the very next sentence — the listener has forgotten all about that.

“But Dan, what about the fact that she’s been an agent there for 17 years?”

That’s nice. But it doesn’t sell insurance.

They give both a terrible vanity phone number (1-800-470-2-SAV) and its numeric equivalent.

Here Comes The Clue Train.

If you give both a vanity number and its numeric equivalent and a listener wants to write down one of them (unlikely as that is with this commercial), the listener will write down the numeric equivalent and ignore the vanity number.

“But some people won’t be able to write it down, and we want them to remember it. That’s why we have the vanity number, too!”

Chug Chug Chug

Oops, the Clue Train’s job isn’t done yet. Nobody will remember “1-800-470-2-SAV.”

They give two Calls To Action (call or visit their website). That’s one too many. (Multiple Calls To Action depress total overall response.)

And then the friendly, “been here 17 years” agent is made to look ridiculous as she’s pressed into service to deliver the fast-talking disclaimer. I hope at least she was paid a bonus for voicing the radio commercial.

{ 5 comments }

Illustration © 2009 by Bobby Ocean

{ 1 comment }

Last month I conducted three days of radio training at the U.S. Air Force base in Spangdahlem, Germany.

Afterward, a few of the grateful soldiers hardly knew where to begin when asked to describe what they had learned during those three exciting days.

{ 0 comments }

December 1994 (London, continued):

After my interrupted nap, I walked the ten minutes to JFM, in order to meet some of the people and see where the seminar would be held the next day.

Until recently, the station had been called Jazz FM. JFM offered a unique mix of the blues, R&B, soul, and jazz.

When I prepared to walk back to my hotel, JFM graciously lent me a radio boom box so I would be able to hear the station in my room. (I know quite a few American radio people who always raise a ruckus when there is no radio in their hotel rooms.)

They also loaned me a power strip, which I needed because my hotel room had a total of one electrical outlet…into which was plugged the television.

It was 4 o’clock when I left JFM, and already it was getting dark. Relying on my keen sense of direction, I immediately became hopelessly lost. Forty-five minutes later, I completed the 10-minute walk to the hotel (lugging the boom box all the way).

Once at the hotel, I attached the power strip (which provides for multiple inputs from electrical devices) and unpacked my faithful Powerbook. Ah, but don’t the British use a different voltage than the Americans? Yes, but the Powerbook can accept any voltage level, anywhere in the world.

Ah, but isn’t the electrical plug itself very different in England? Yes, but I had brought with me an adaptor that simply slips onto the American plug to fit the British outlets.

Or so I thought.

The adaptor I meant to bring with me.

Apparently I brought the wrong adaptor. At first I found this hard to believe, but I convinced myself by trying to force it to fit and breaking off one of the metal prongs.

Great. Now it was 5 o’clock, and instead of spending the evening working on my computer, I was faced with the task of finding an international adaptor.

I began by asking the Front Desk, “Do you know where I could find an international electrical adaptor to use in my room?”

They directed me to a store a few blocks away. I was delighted to discover they did have in stock an international adaptor called “The Visitor.”

I brought it back to my room and, indeed, it did adapt standard American plugs for British use. Due to its design, however, it did not accept the box-like plug that is common to computers.

I returned to the Front Desk and this time was directed to Selfridges, the huge department store that was only a ten minute walk from the hotel. Their directions were something like, “Go across the street, walk around the park, turn right, turn left, turn right and then turn left again.”

It was simple, they said.

Well, it was a bit confusing to follow their directions, but eventually I reached Selfridges. Did they have an international adaptor?

“We certainly do, sir. It’s called ‘The Visitor.’”

In fact, I found several stores that carried international adaptors. All of which were “The Visitor.”

This all happened on a Friday evening, two weeks before Christmas. Which means the sidewalks and stores were filled with holiday shoppers. After three hours and countless stores, I gave up and turned back toward the hotel. A scant 30 minutes later — after asking directions from two security guards and two passersby — I completed the 10-minute walk to the hotel.

It was only after again stumbling upon George Street (where the hotel was located) that I realized the hotel’s directions could have been simply, “Go outside. Turn right, walk two blocks. Turn left. Keep walking until you see Selfridges.”

Obviously, however, the hotel sized me up as an adventurer and knew I would be bored by such a quick & easy route.

Re-entering the hotel, I was frustrated and very tired. As I retrieved my key (one of the old-fashioned kinds, attached to a hunk of metal) from the bellman, I remarked, “You know, given the number of international guests who stay here, I’m surprise you don’t keep electrical adaptors on hand to lend to guests who need them.”

“Oh, but we do, sir,” he replied.

Unfortunately, no one had bothered to tell the Front Desk.

Next Week: I’m introduced to what would become my favorite TV show.

{ 8 comments }

Tonight we surprised our STARTING YOUR VOICEOVER BUSINESS: Everything You Need To Know To Turn Your Dream Or Your Sideline Into A Business teleseminar series students with a bonus call:

For 2 and-a-half hours, Audio/Video/Internet Übergeek Steve Cunningham fielded every imaginable technical question

This post is for to allow our students to share their “reviews.”

{ 10 comments }