A recent study indicates roughly half of American physicians prescribe placebos for some of their patients.
A placebo, of course, is a “pretend” medication that is prescribed without the patient’s knowledge.
Often it’s used as a “control” in a medical study, to compare the effects of an experimental drug with those of something that, by itself, should have no effect.
“The Placebo Effect” refers to the phenomenon of people reporting symptom relief simply because they believe they’re receiving genuine treatment for their ailments.
The superficial response to this phenomenon is to think, “Boy, people sure are gullible.”
But there’s considerable evidence to suggest that, at least in some cases, placebos can genuinely reduce physical symptoms.
As Dan Ariely points out in his book, PREDICTABLY IRRATIONAL, the expectation of a physiological response can trigger that response:
“In the case of pain, expectation can unleash hormones and neurotransmitters, such as endorphins and opiates, that not only block agony but produce exuberant highs (endorphins trigger the same receptors as morphine).”
Ariely speaks from experience. He was hospitalized for three years with third degree burns over 70% of his body:
“I vividly recall lying in the burn ward in terrible pain. As soon as I saw the nurse approaching, with a needle almost dripping with painkiller, what relief! My brain began secreting pain-dulling opiods, even before the needle broke my skin.”
But Dan, What Does This Have to Do with Radio Advertising?
We’re almost there; stay with me….
“Placebo” derives from a Latin term that means “I shall please.”
Sometimes, the patient actually experiences improvement from the pleasant expectation of relief.
Unfortunately, too many radio advertising salespeople routinely sell placebos to their clients: worthless commercials that “please” the advertiser, that make the advertiser feel good (temporarily)…but which do not produce the result the client needs.
In a medical situation, a “pretend” medication that actually reduces some patients’ pain has value, and those patients are pleased.
But no amount of “pleasing” advertisers by saying their names 12 times, reciting their phone numbers, street addresses, business hours and every sale item by name and price will produce the results they really need.
Those account execs will land some orders by selling placebo spots. But they’ll be committing advertising malpractice, and the patient — the client — will pay the price.
Meanwhile, most stations happily will continue to sell clients whatever they want. To please them.
The Way It Usually Is
Advertising Client: “I don’t like that commercial.”
Radio Station: “We’ll change it! Just tell us what to do.”
The Way It Should Be
Advertising Client: “I don’t like that commercial.”
Radio Station: “So?”
Now I Have Enraged a Few Thousand Sales Managers.
“I don’t know what planet he lives on, but in our world if the client doesn’t like the spot, we replace it with a different one.”
Imagine, If You Will…
Patient: “I don’t like the taste of that medicine.”
Doctor: “You don’t like the taste? Well, then, just tell me what taste you do like and I’ll prescribe you a drug that will please your palate.”
No, here’s how any responsible (professional) doctor would respond:
“So?”
As a radio advertising professional, your job is not to make the client happy. It’s to make them money.
Radio copywriters go to great lengths to make their commercials entertaining or “creative” or funny.
If only they would start here, they’d find it so much easier to produce ad campaigns that deliver profitable results for their clients.
Are you breaking in a new radio commercial copywriter?
Or perhaps you’re trying to get your account executives to write spots that don’t sound as though they’re written by account execs?
Challenge them to a game of “Spot The Fake Yelp Reviews.”
It’s easy and fun for the entire radio station!
Each player is assigned a random sampling of Yelp reviews to peruse.
The first time a player sees a review that is filled with language and sentiments that no human would express, that player yells, “Yelp One!”
The second time a player sees a review that is filled with language and sentiments that no human would express, that player yells, “Yelp Two!”
The third time…Well, you get the idea.
Look for Clues Such as These.
Declarations that the business handles all of their _______ “needs.”
Example: I always go to Dr. Whozis for all of my dental needs!
The use of outsized superlatives that far exceed the realm of the product or service.
Example: The shoelaces at Ed’s House of Footwear Accessories are incredible!
Too Much Information: The reviewer mentions everything the business owner would put in a brochure.
Example:
I couldn’t believe how easy their free parking was. I was relieved to see that they take Visa, MasterCard, American Express, Discover Card, check, money order, PayPal, Bitcoin and, of course, cash. I knew I could trust Ned’s Newspaper Stand with all my newspaper and magazine needs when I found out they’ve been family owned and operated for over 17 years. They get deliveries of a wide variety of new magazines every Tuesday at 4am, which means they always have just what you’re looking for.
They also carry out of town newspapers, which is particularly great for me because I’m from out of town. I make it a point to stop by every Monday evening between 8 and 9 o’clock to take advantage of their half-price special featuring a wide variety of torn, damaged or soiled publications at huge discounts. By the way, Ned’s Newspaper Stand thoughtfully provides a wide variety of candy, chewing gum, and confectionaries right next to the cash register. That has saved me SO much time I’d otherwise have spent having to stand in line at the supermarket.
Everything Is Great: The location, service, selection, quality, prices, policies, staff, cleanliness, hours of operation…
Unlike your favorite restaurant, which has at least one dish you don’t particularly care for, everything this place sells is exceptionally good.
Here’s A Typical Fake Yelp Review.
When I asked friends and co-workers what dentist I should go to for all of my dental needs, their recommendations were unanimous. Everyone told me that they go to Dr. Whozis because he’s an “old fashioned” dentist who always puts the needs of the patients first. And he’s so conveniently located to where everybody lives.
Whenever I need to have a potential dental problem diagnosed or treated, I know I can trust Dr. Whozis. When I made an appointment with Dr. Whozis to find out what was causing my bleeding gums, I was astonished at how quickly he spotted the problem and advised me, in his expert yet reassuring manner, to stop flossing my teeth with barbed wire. I always get all of my veneers, bonding and teeth whitening from Dr. Whozis and his wonderful staff who are so friendly that I think of them as family.
Like many of Dr. Whozis’s patients, I often show my gratitude to his front office staff by bringing small gifts of candy, Amazon gift cards, and cash…especially Brenda, the office manager. She’s amazing! I don’t know how she manages to run the entire office so smoothly and always with a smile.
Who Would Post A Fake Yelp Review?
Naturally, no business owners or employees would try to fool consumers by leaving fake reviews of their own business or service.
I can only guess the plethora of obviously bogus rave reviews are the work of Internet Pranksters.
Ready To Play?
Here’s a real customer review from Yelp.
I assume it’s a legitimate review from a real customer.
Can you see anything that makes you think otherwise?
This is seriously how I feel about Kristal Graphics. I have been using them for my printing needs for years. I am a perpetual procrastinator. But when I do want stuff, I want it right away. And Kristal Graphics always delivers. They always make sure to deliver my products on time. And their prices are phenomenal. I have used them for business cards, flyers, and banners, and they all come out perfect. I can usually get a banner done within 2-3 days, and even sooner if I really need it done quickly. Their graphic designer, Marco, is a pleasure to work with. He will work with me through multiple revisions till I am happy with the product. Try Kristal Graphics out and you will not be sorry.
It’s not often that you hear an excellent client-voiced radio commercial.
But it’s not unusual to hear such excellent advertising created by Blaine Parker.
