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Today’s blog posting is all about me. It has nothing at all do with you, your life, your career, your interests, your needs, your dreams. It’s all about me.

If you didn’t suspect today’s piece in some way is relevant to your life, you wouldn’t be reading this second paragraph.

Why not? Because the opening is all about me.

Among the recent purchases I’ve made are:

• A Macally 2 gigabyte external hard drive storage enclosure

• A prescription medication from Ralph’s Pharmacy

• Some blank DVDs by Sony

• An airline ticket from United Airlines

• A bottle of Maximum Strength Excedrin

On the day I bought the Macally storage enclosure, I didn’t care at all about Macally U.S.A Mace Group, Inc.. But I had a dead laptop and needed to salvage the contents of its hard drive.

Ralph’s Pharmacy? I never give them a thought — except when I want to renew that prescription. Otherwise, in my universe the pharmacy doesn’t even exist.

Do I care about Sony? Uh, no. But I needed to make digital copies of some videos.

Do I care about United Airlines? Are you kidding? Have you flown on United during the past decade?? But…I’m speaking at a conference far away, and I need to get there.

Novartis Consumer Health, Inc.? Y’know, the nice folks who manufacture Excedrin? Frankly, my dear, about them I don’t give a damn. But this headache…

You already know that consumers don’t care about the advertiser; they care about themselves. (You do already know that, right?)

Meanwhile, the opening line of a radio commercial is the commercial for the commercial. It’s your one chance to attract the attention of the targeted listeners.

Beginning the commercial by talking about the advertiser, from the advertiser’s point of view, almost always is very, very…not smart.

So why do so many commercials begin terribly? To wit, this selection from a couple of commercial breaks recorded from a local radio station…

1. Farmers Insurance: Begins with their own name, followed by a nonsensical declaration. (Whatever I was hoping to get today, “ready” wasn’t one of them.)

2. A supermarket made a New Year’s resolution. Uh-huh. Of course it did.

3. Yes, someone actually began a commercial with, “It’s the GMC Holiday Event.” Riveting. Spellbinding. Ain’t nobody touching that dial. (And props to the expensive branding firm that, presumably, came up with the extraordinary name for the event.)

4. You see, she’s repeating a question that, we are to assume, someone just asked her. Problem: In the history of the world, no one ever has asked anyone, “Why do you take Non-Drowsy Claritin?”

5. First, I think the guy’s talking about farm land. Y’know, the land upon which farms can be found. But then it turns out “Farmland” is the name of some product or another, and the guy who’s speaking is spewing B.S.

The “thing” he likes about Farmland is that it works side by side with American farm families and their best-tasting ham and their best-tasting bacon and their best-tasting pork roast? Horsefeathers!

6. WOW! The Southern California Hyundai Dealers’ award really makes my year better!

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DISAPPOINTMENT OF BEING A DJ’S KID

radio programming graphic

Illustration © 2010 by Bobby Ocean

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“THIS BLOG WILL MAKE ME A RADIO STAR!”

radio programming graphicFuture radio superstar Scott Northcraft reveals his secret weapon in winning the personality radio wars…

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radio programming graphicOctober, 1995 (continued):

Continuing my first visit to New Zealand, on Saturday I presented two different seminars at the R.B.A. convention:

Building A Winning Morning (or, in NZ, “Breakfast”) Show and The Psychology Of Management: How To Motivate Your Staff To Peak Performance.

In the management seminar, I often illustrate a particular point by talking about “the rooting reflex.”

Have you ever noticed that if you gently touch the face of an infant, the child will turn toward your touch? That’s “the rooting reflex.”

(Trust me, it does connect in some way to people management.)

So at that point I asked, “Is anyone familiar with ‘the rooting reflex?’”

A few people smiled, but no one spoke up.

I talked a little about it and then again mentioned “the rooting reflex.” And I couldn’t help but notice that a lot of people were laughing.

Although there are times during this seminar when I am accustomed to people laughing, this was not one of them.

“Okay,” I inquired, “tell me what I said.”

A lot of hemming & hawing from the audience.

Finally someone took pity on me and explained that in New Zealand, “rooting” is slang for sexual intercourse. Apparently it is not the equivalent of the four-letter Anglo-Saxon word; it seems to be closer to the American slang use of “screwing.”

Not obscene, but certainly not polite.

So much for my furthering of American-Kiwi relations (no pun intended.)

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radio advertising graphic

Blaine Parker, Strike Force Radio Strategist

The invitation to this World Premiere teleseminar promised:

“Fast, Inexpensive Radio Ad Campaigns That Produce Immediate, Measurable Results.”

Hmm…Big talk.

I’m happy to report we have the post-seminar reviews to back up the big talk….

“I’ve taken more pages of notes during this teleseminar than any I’ve attended. Thanks, Blaine and Dan for opening my eyes to all the great ideas!” (Ron Stevens, All Star Radio)

“Great seminar, got into good detail on how to take a customer through the process of building a small campaign properly. All the principles of a building a great, short campaign were laid out in logical order, and well explained with examples. (I love examples!) We had a great Study Guide with which to make notes and get the important details of the seminar.” (Reinert Peterson, 100.3 the Q! and The Zone @ 91.3)

“My sales team and production team was on the conference. Thanks so much. Made great sense to us!” (Carol Healey, WFIL)

“Blaine’s practical approach is most helpful in managing what is often perceived as an unmanageable situation: the advertiser that wants to ‘experiment’ with radio, but hasn’t a clear understanding of how to do it right. Blaine’s ‘Strike Force Advertising’ principles can stand in the gap, providing clarity and focus both for the advertiser and his advertising counselor. Looking forward to listening again, and to sharing the ideas with clients and colleagues. Well done!!” (Rod Schwartz, Grace Broadcast Sales)

“The points made reinforce what you teach. But I never thought about utilizing these ideas for a fast reaction campaign. (Danny McWilliams, Center Broadcasting)

“I thought Dan was kidding when he said there was a way to get rapid results on radio without investing a fortune. Turns out, he wasn’t kidding. This teleseminar told you the bottom line on what you need to know to rapidly make radio work. The combination of Blaine Parker and Dan O’Day OVERDELIVERED. If they make this recording available, do not hesitate. Grab it.” (Harlan Kilstein, Direct Response Copywriter)

One attendee thought the pacing could’ve been better…

“I agree 100% with the content. I would have preferred the delivery to be more direct, like say a ‘strike force’ message. It would have been cool to hear it laid out in a direct 1, 2, 3 method, and then perhaps discuss the customization and examples at the end. Perhaps work through a real life example start to finish?  I enjoyed the call, much appreciated.” (Jon Pole, My Broadcasting Corp.)

Quick Reply: We made an active choice to start with a backdrop of how traditionally “good” radio advertising works, so we’d have a point of reference against which to contrast Blaine’s radically different Strike Force technique. I can see where an “old pro” might’ve preferred that we jump right into it. Hopefully, once we jumped it was worth the set-up.

Did you miss the live event? You still can download the entire teleseminar on mp3…but only until the end of this week.

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