Adam Toy, a broadcasting student in Winnipeg, Canada, submitted a show promo he had produced, asking for my feedback.
Foolishly, he allowed me to critique it in the video you see below these words.
After you hear my reaction, feel free to add your own.
And yes, my glasses do look crooked, don’t they? (But I think Adam would rather hear your reaction to his promo…)
The Sequel
My guest posting on this blog yesterday seems to have unleashed a flurry of Internet buzzing…
Just a few comments here on the blog.
Lots of comments on Facebook and Twitter.
And even more emails sent directly to me, sharing various unpleasant encounters with the subject of my diatribe. I should say “alleged encounters,” because I didn’t witness any of them.
What I can say, however, is that the charlatan in question asked me to be the guest star at this very “event.” Her pitch was that I’d show up, share a few witty bon mots, tantalize the audience of desperately hopeful wannabes with a couple of nuggets of professional wisdom, and then get the opportunity to sell them my products.
Aside from the failed math — lose three days of voice over work (my profession and 99.9% of my income) for the “opportunity” to peddle my microphone and a few Porta-Booths — I’d add credence to an event carefully structured to separate unsuspecting, trusting hopefuls from their money.
No way, no how.
But one particular email I received yesterday caught my eye:
Harlan,
LOVED your new rant about “that woman.” And needless to say, I completely agree with your opinion. I took a few minutes to copy and paste some of the phrases you quoted from her pitch into Google, and wasn’t at all surprised to find that many of the phrases she “wrote” were found, word for word, on sites with titles like “The Info-Marketers’ A-Z Blueprint seminar,” “No B.S. Business Success for the New Economy,” “How to Effortlessly Attract New Clients to Your Business,” and even “The Insurance Agency Success Program.”
I thought Dan O’Day would be amused by that, so I forwarded it to him.
Sure enough, immediately below this posting you should see one from Dan, who was inspired to do his own online research into the sincerity of the outsider posing as an expert. I think you’ll be shocked to see how she simply lifts “boilerplate” claims to convince prospects about the big money to be made in voice over.
H2
She's Telling The Truth. You'll Need One of These.
Before reading this, I trust you’ve read Harlan Hogan’s background story (immediately above).
I haven’t seen the actual sales letter in question. I’ve seen only the excerpts that Harlan posted. I’m pretty sure if I were to read the full letter I’d find more…um, “amazing similarities.” But here’s what a few minutes’ online research uncovered.
First I’ll quote the excerpt from the “I’ll Promise You Anything If It Puts Your Money In My Pocket” sales letter aimed at voiceover wannabes, and then I’ll reproduce astonishingly similar sales pitches from completely different businesses.
(I’m sure those other businesses are legitimate and are run by people who actually are able to make a living in their respective fields. In no way do I question the integrity of those other enterprises.)
“The key to success is to focus on customers eager to work with you, who appreciate your talent. There are thousands of businesses anxious to hire you…with price resistance completely off the table.”
Meanwhile, the Insurance Agency Success Program says: “… the key to your success is…selling…to customers eager to meet with you…with price resistance completely off the table…”
“If you are already in voice-over. This event will make your career better and give you a big pay raise – regardless of what’s going on with the economy…”
Hmm. Any similarity to this pitch for The Ultimate Real Estate Investors Guide? “…if you are already trying your hand at investing, I’d like to tell you how to make your business grow, how to give yourself a very big pay raise, fast – regardless of where you live or whatever’s going on in the economy.”
“If you are new to the business. This event can save you a huge amount of trial and error, pain and suffering and get you on the fast-track to getting your first booking.”
Once again from The Ultimate Real Estate Investors Guide: “If you are new at real estate, then I can save you a huge amount of trial-and-error pain and suffering… and get you to the big money faster than you ever could on your own.”
“Every day a huge ocean of money flows from clients to people behind the mic. It’s important to grasp that the ocean of money is already flowing….all you need do is put yourself in it’s way…WITH A BUCKET!”
“Every day a huge ocean of money flows from clients to consultants, coaches, experts and advisors….It’s important to grasp that the ocean of money is already flowing. All you must do is put yourself in its way, with a bucket.” — How to Effortlessly Attract a Flood of New Clients to Your Consulting Practice
“The hardest thing to recognize about this letter is to conceive and believe that what you are being offered is real.”
“The hardest thing to recognize about this letter is to conceive and believe that what is about to be offered to you is real!” — The Ultimate Business System Designed Exclusively For Chiropractors
Personally, I assume all of the above fall under the category of Amazing Coincidences.
I mean, otherwise I might think this voiceover huckst — uh, expert — simply replaced “insurance” with “voice over.”
And replaced “real estate” with “voice over.”
And replaced “consulting” with “voice over.”
And replaced “chiropractor” with “voice over.”
But nobody could be that sleazy. So I’m sticking with the “Big Coincidence” explanation.
But I’m left with two questions:
Exactly how many oceans of money are flowing at this particular moment?
And are we in any danger of running out of buckets?
Don’t know if you got the sales pitch, but the self-proclaimed voice training “guru” is at it again.
Now the industry outsider isn’t content to prey on innocent newbies and wannabees; she’s also targeting established voice performers who – like the rest of the populace – haven’t had an easy time of it in this troubled economy with more competition and fewer opportunities.
Here in a nutshell is her latest snake oil:
“If you are already in voice-over. This event will make your career better and give you a big pay raise – regardless of what’s going on with the economy…
“If you are new to the business. This event can save you a huge amount of trial and error, pain and suffering and get you on the fast-track to getting your first booking.”
Pretty bold claims. A pay raise! No pain & suffering! Can she deliver on that?
“Once you know where to find the right prospects the door to your career will open widely. The secret is knowing where to find them”
Guess she’ll reveal the alternate universe where such prospects exist…
Take heed though:
“All the power has returned to the customer. Your customer’s will have zero tolerance for your lack of skill”
Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.
Oh wait, here’s the good news:
“Businesses will eagerly hand you a lot of money for your talent.”
Feeling better, but then she added:
“In this new economy people are going to be more cautious about spending their money than ever before.”
So which is it? Cautious conservatism or wretched largesse?
My head was spinning, and then I saw the “key to success.”
“The key to success is to focus on customers eager to work with you, who appreciate your talent. There are thousands of businesses anxious to hire you…with price resistance completely off the table.”
OH! Got it! All I need is the ‘right’ not-so-cautious or intolerant but always appreciative clients! Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?
I trust she’ll be handing out a list of the thousands of businesses anxious to hire us and contact information at the event.
But wait. There’s more good news!
“Be prepared to experience the sheer unbridled joy of a new business model that will attract a flood of new business opportunities…and give you more time off than you ever imagined.”
Ah, the joy of a shiny new business model does make my heart sing. And I do agree about the high probability of time off if you swallow this nonsense; it’s called “unemployment.”
Hang on, here comes the revelation!
“Every day a huge ocean of money flows from clients to people behind the mic. It’s important to grasp that the ocean of money is already flowing….all you need do is put yourself in it’s way…WITH A BUCKET!”
A tidal wave of cash flowing right to your door! Just “put yourself in it’s way.”
A personal tip: My 33 years of voice over experience suggests you select the sturdy True Value 10-quart model with the red plastic ergonomic handle, because I’ve learned that wooden handles cause blisters with a heavily laden bucket o’ money.
By the way, real pros throw the ones and fives back in the spirit of good sportsmanship.
“You could make the case that it <this “course”> costs nothing…
(No, no I can’t…)
because it’s going to put a whole lot of money in your pocket. In fact, You’ll probably get your money back on your first job.”
“My methods are guaranteed to put you on the fast-track to a voice over career that’s fun, exciting and profitable – without submitting yourself to massive procrastination, hesitation or frustration.…”
So just to be clear here: I get my money back if I experience frustration, hesitation, procrastination or a lack of fun, excitement and/or profitability on the fast-track of my voice over career. Right?
And in conclusion…
She reveals the truth.
“The hardest thing to recognize about this letter is to conceive and believe that what you are being offered is real.”
Amen!
H2
