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ADVERTISING BENEFITS, NOT FEATURES

When you ask advertisers why people should purchase their products or services, invariably they will respond with a list of features those products/services offer:

  • Free delivery & installation
  • One-stop shopping
  • Bakery on the premises
  • Custom built

Here are some possible benefits of those features to the consumer.

We’ll deliver it right to your door, gently carry it inside, and install it exactly where you want it. And we won’t leave until it’s working perfectly for you.

Instead of going to one place for plants, another place for mulch, another place for tools and yet another place for easy-to-follow, how-to instruction books, we have everything you need right here.

How can you be sure your cakes and pies will be right-out-of-the-oven fresh when you pick them up? Because we bake everything ourselves, right here in our own bakery.

You tell us exactly what you want: the color, the size, the style, the texture, the finish…everything. And then we will build you a brand-new one, following your exact instructions….Guaranteed.

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radio contest prizes

Radio Station Serves Snacks For Its Listeners

A Loyal Reader Writes:

“Today I received a memo from my Market Manager and my Office Manager concerning mailing prizes — certificates to restaurants, etc.

“The new policy is to have the listener pick up their certificates at the station no matter where they live. With our signal, for some of our listeners that’s a one-hour drive.

“If they cannot pick it up, the on-air personalities are required to ask them to mail a self-addressed stamped envelope in order to get their prize.

“Or as a PD, I have the prerogative to mail them out at my own expense. I have chosen the latter. Certainly an all time low for corporate radio. What are your thoughts on this?”

My thoughts?

The people who made that rule are idiots.

Some Office Managers read this blog, and I trust they’ll understand I am not belittling their positions when I say that Office Managers should not have the authority to make such rules — with or without the Market Manager.

In fact, I’ll modify my initial response:

The Market Manager is an idiot.

The Office Manager simply shouldn’t have been involved in this decision in the first place.

There are only three possible reasons your station is giving away low-rent prizes like restaurant certificates:

1. To offer listeners a fun bonus for listening; to enhance the relationship your radio station has with its audience.

2. To please a sponsor, who either made the giveaways part of a larger advertising commitment or who “asked” the station to give them away.

3. To satisfy a desire on the part of Programming to “give stuff away” because….Well, that’s what radio stations do, isn’t it?

If it’s Reason #3:  You need a better reason.

If it’s Reason #2:  If your station can’t afford the envelope and postage stamp, build that cost into the sponsorship package. Figure out the price of a stamp and an envelope, multiply that sum by the number of prizes you’re forced to give away, and add that amount to the sponsor’s contract.

If it’s Reason #1:  This is “branding” at its worst. Instead of strengthening your relationship with your listeners, you’re actively damaging it.

Time is everyone’s one non-renewable resource. It’s the one thing none of your listeners has enough of.

In order to receive the prize you’ve offered, it’s not enough that they were the right number caller with the correct answer to the trivia question. You also expect them to give up more of their time than the prize itself is worth.

Look at it this way:

Some friends are stopping by your house this afternoon. You think, “I guess it would be polite of me to offer them some snacks. But the only food I have in the house is spoiled, and if they eat it they’ll get food poisoning and become violently ill.”

If the only food you are able to offer will make your guests sick, I strongly suggest that either you get some better food…or you don’t offer any snacks at all to your guests.

This isn’t an example of “corporate radio.”

It’s an example of stupid radio. Of people who just don’t understand why it’s not a good idea to give their guests food poisoning.

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MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: JEWELRY STORE

This radio commercial was produced either by a Los Angeles radio station or by a Southern California advertising agency.

Now that you’ve heard it….

What can you recall from that commercial that has anything to do with the targeted listener’s life?

My favorite part (you’ll need to go back and listen for it): the comparison of the advertiser’s prices to those of Tiffany’s, followed by this disclaimer: “Qualities vary.”

I’m pretty sure that means, “Our prices our lower, and so is our quality!”

“I tried radio, and it didn’t work….”

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(Video) THIS COMIC GENIUS MADE ME LOOK LIKE A DOOFUS

Fred Willard is an improvisational genius. But you already knew that.

His announcing of the dog show in BEST OF SHOW included one of my all-time favorite lines. When the “miniatures” came out, Willard turned to his dog expert partner and asked, “How do they get them so small? Do they…miniaturize them?” As though there’s some sort of miniaturizing machine you put dogs into….

Fred was a guest at one of our Radio Creative/Production Summits several years ago, as part of a panel. We were seated on stools onstage. I told Fred I’d never seen him portray an authority figure and wondered how he would handle such a role. “Like the boss,” I said.

“Well, let’s say I’m the boss and you’re applying for a job,” Fred said. How cool is this? Improvising on stage with Fred Willard.

Okay, well….My part of the improvisation was trying not to fall off the stool, helpless with laughter from Fred’s first words as that authority figure.

I believe he deliberately was extra funny, just to humiliate me.

This isn’t the scene I mentioned from BEST OF SHOW, but it does feature the delightfully deadpan Bob Balaban.

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24/7 CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE RADIO; AIRCHECK CRITIQUE

The latest issue of my Radio Programming Letter discusses whether mainstream radio stations that program Christmas music around the clock leading up to and immediately after December 25 are helping or hurting themselves.

This issue also includes a detailed radio talent aircheck critique.

This posting is for subscribers to add their own comments….

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