DAN O’DAY TALKS ABOUT RADIO

Should radio personalities diversify or specialize in their radio shows? Tips from Dan O’Day, Gary Burbank.

Recorded at my Air Personality Plus+ seminar in Charlotte, North Carolina, 1991.

June, 1997:

I made my first visit to Singapore, thanks to the Radio Corporation of Singapore’s Anthony W. L. Chia and Mrs. Toh-Chua Foo Yong, as well as Esther Leet (who handled the 1,001 details) and Chng Kai Jin, who graciously served as my host during the visit.

The trip began with an 11.5-hour flight from Los Angeles to Tokyo. As usual, I brought my computer, some books, and several pounds of trade magazines to read on the airplane. And as increasingly was becoming my habit, once on the plane I did absolutely no work at all.

Instead, I watched parts of JERRY McGUIRE (a movie I didn’t even like very much the first time I saw it), ate, and slept.

Here was my schedule:

• Sunday: Leave Los Angeles
• Monday: Arrive Singapore
• Tuesday: Explore Singapore
• Wednesday: Building A Winning Morning Show and Great Radio Promotions & Contests
• Thursday: How To Critique Radio Talent
• Friday: How To Create Maximum Impact Radio Advertising
  (full-day seminar for radio stations, advertisers, and ad agencies from throughout the region)

I’ve since been to Singapore several more times. But during my first visit, my associations with “Singapore” mirrored that of most Americans at the time:

• No littering
• No crime
• Caning as punishment for graffiti

So I was constantly on the lookout for obvious signs of our cultural differences.

My first such impression was made as I waited for my suitcase to arrive at the airport Baggage Claim: The conveyer belt that carried the passengers’ luggage was absolutely silent as it moved. It was eerie, watching all those suitcases noiselessly snaking their way across the floor.

I have heard some of the most intriguing music at hotels and restaurants around the world. At the hotel restaurant that evening, I dined to the background strains of “Take Me Home, Country Roads,” followed by a Japanese musical arrangement of Neil Young’s “Heart of Gold.”

Singaporeans have two major hobbies: shopping and eating. Their fondness for eating probably is the result of the wonderful mixture of cuisines: Malay, Chinese, Japanese.

And shopping is seen not as a chore (that is, the way I perceive it) but instead as a fun activity. Singapore must have more shopping malls per square mile than any other country in the world.

As I set out on my own walking tour on Tuesday, I found myself a bit confused and asked for directions at a shop located beneath the hotel. (As I say, there are shops everywhere.) The woman answered my question and then, as I turned to leave, called out, “Is that your tissue?”

“I beg your pardon?” I replied, mystified.

She pointed to a discarded tissue lying on the floor near me.

“No,” I said. “No, that’s not mine.”

So….How clean were the sidewalks of Singapore? Somewhere between those of New York City and those of Disneyland. They weren’t spotless, and I just don’t know if I would have noticed their relative freedom from litter had I not expected it. I did notice the occasional discarded cigarette butt on the sidewalk.

Some of the merchants close to my hotel were very aggressive in their attempts to solicit business. An employee of one storefront tailor (Modella Tailors) vainly tried to pull me into his shop to try on a suit. (Clearly he needs to work on his ability to spot a likely customer.)

A few steps further down the street I managed to resist the culinary temptation of crocodile meat being kept warm on a hot plate. (No doubt in the near future we can expect to see this as a featured entree at Denny’s.)

Next Installment: A great Chinese meal in the most unlikely setting…plus another unsettling X-Files encounter.

A truism both of sales and of advertising:

“The more you tell, the more you sell.”

Do your commercials Tell and Sell? Or do they just make vague allusions to the product or service being advertised?

Don’t say, “our affordable dinners.”

Do say, “Our $9.95 New York cut steak dinner with butter-dripping mashed potatoes, fresh vegetables, freshly baked dinner rolls and a crisp salad to start.”

Don’t say, “our factory-trained mechanics.”

Do say, “Each of our expert mechanics has at least 5 full years’ experience repairing, rejuvenating and revitalizing every type of Toyota there is.”

Don’t say, “Stop in for a free consultation.”

Do say, “Stop in and take our free, no-obligation 10 Warning Signs Of Hearing Loss test.”

Don’t say, “We carry the entire line of Hewlett-Packard products.”

Do say, “If you need a Hewlett-Packard printer, cartridge, scanner, monitor, copy machine, fax machine….You name it; if HP makes it, we’ve got it in stock today!”

Don’t say, “at savings you won’t believe!”

Do say, “We charge at least $100 less than any other dealer in the state.” (Or, if listeners immediately will recognize it as a tremendous bargain,  simply name the price…)

The following is adapted, with permission of the author, from Arnold B. Kanter’s THE INS & OUTS OF LAW FIRM MISMANAGEMENT.

All the good bits are his.

The stupid stuff is mine.

MEMO

To: All Station Employees

From: Boone, Doggle & Associates/Radio Consulting

Introduction to Confidential Survey

The management of this radio station truly wants to learn from you, their valued employees.

Although their executive bonuses for the past several years certainly suggest they’re already pretty darned successful, certainly there are areas in which they can improve the operation of this station.

And although of course you don’t receive executive bonuses, you might very well have some valuable insights, keen observations, and paradigm-shifting suggestions.

We sincerely want to hear your uncensored thoughts, unvarnished opinions …even your nonlacquered criticisms.

We have made it clear to your company’s management that the only way to insure 100% candid responses to this survey is for each response to be kept 100% confidential — even from your employer.

After all, it’s hard to tell us what an idiot your boss is if there’s any chance that he or she will know what you said.

That’s why all completed surveys will be viewed only by Mr. Boone, Mr. Doggle, and/or one or more of our more trusted associates. Your employer will receive a Summary of Conclusions (aka Conclusional Summation) that presents only an anonymous aggregate of all completed surveys, without in any way revealing any respondent’s identity.

Only Boone, Doggle & Associates/Radio Consulting staff members will see the survey respondent names. And you can be certain that we won’t pay any attention to who said what or reveal anyone’s identity to your employer because:

A) We really don’t care what you think. We’re just collecting this information for your employer. That is not meant as an insult or a flippant remark. When we say “We really don’t care,” it’s simply our way of saying, “We really don’t care.” We’re professional consultants; we don’t have to care.

B) We give you our word that under no circumstances will we reveal your identity to your employer. To break our word would be to blemish the enviably high regard radio professionals worldwide have for consultants. We have a reputation to uphold, and we’ll hold up that reputation no matter how heavy it gets, day or night, in all kinds of weather.

Instructions

1. This questionnaire is completely confidential. We won’t tell anybody your answers, under any circumstances. We realize that some people filling out a questionnaire like this might be afraid that their answers could lead to their being disciplined, fired, or even worse.

Frankly, that’s not such an irrational fear. But Boone, Doggle & Associates/ Radio Consulting didn’t get where we are today by kowtowing to the bribes, threats and pleadings of our clients.

Don’t get us wrong. We have the utmost respect for your employer. Quite frankly, your employer is admired throughout the industry for its history of integrity, innovation, and willingness to employ outside consulting firms.

But your employer shares our complete, total, and absolute respect for your privacy.

We recognize that for you to answer these questions openly, honestly, and without reservation you must be 100% certain we won’t reveal your identity under any circumstance — whether it be bribery, intimidation, or even the old “let’s get the consultants drunk and see what they’ll tell us” routine.

So please, just relax. Your secrets are safe with us.

2. When filling out this questionnaire, use only a Number Two pencil. If you do not have a Number Two pencil, use two Number One pencils.

3. Read each question carefully.

4. Answer every question.

5. Select only one answer to each question.

6. If you don’t know the answer, guess. There are no points deducted for incorrect answers, so it’s to your advantage to guess.

7. Remember, this questionnaire is completely confidential.

8. When answering the questions, make heavy marks in the appropriate spaces. Circle your answers. Or put a check mark by each of your answers. Or draw a heavy “X” through each selected answer. Or enclose your answers in triangles, quadrangles or pentagons. Absolutely no “smiley faces” will be permitted.

9. Be as frank and honest as you can in answering these questions.

10. Remember, this questionnaire is confidential.

Personal Information

(Note: All information you provide us will be kept confidential. The information requested in this section is necessary only for statistical purposes, to facilitate cross-analysis of variants in a manner calculated to maximize both the reliability and validity of the survey results. Remember, everything you put on this form will remain confidential.)

1.   Name

2.   Sex

A.   Male

B.   Female

C.   Other

3.   Height (in meters)

4.   Weight (in stones)

5.   Age (in weeks)

6.   Favorite book (hardcover only)

7.   Sexual Preference

A.   Guys

B.   Gals

C.   Sheep

D.   Beggars can’t be choosers.

8. The one thing you’d never want anyone ever to find out about you (Please be as specific as possible, using the other side of this paper if necessary):

Non-Personal Information

(Note: Some of these questions may appear not to relate to the subject being studied or to the questions that precede or follow them. That is because this survey has been designed in such a sophisticated manner that a layperson, such as yourself, cannot possibly understand what’s going on. So please stop trying to figure it out and just answer the damn questions.)

1.    My understanding of the mission of this radio station is:

A.    To serve the public interest

B.   To entertain or enlighten our listeners

C.   To propagate freedom of speech

D.   To make as much money as we can before we drive away every last listener

2.  Which of the following would most help increase this station’s profitability?

A.   Increase ratings, then increase rates.

B.   Say we increased ratings, then increase rates.

C.   Encourage lower-level staff members not to steal so much of our office supplies.

D.   Raise the price of admission to our employee restroom.

3.    This station’s reputation in the broadcast industry is

A.   Impeccable

B.   Somewhat peccable

C.   Very nearly completely pecked

4.   In my opinion, our Station Manager

A.   Is a god

B.   While perhaps not technically a god, is remarkably godlike

C.   Is a broadcaster’s broadcaster

D.   Is an inspiration to us all, regardless of race, creed, and some religions

5.   Disc Jockey “A” and Disc Jockey “B” leave the radio station for their respective vacations at exactly the same time. Disc Jockey “A” takes a train in a westerly direction, averaging 47 miles per hour. Disc Jockey “B” takes a bus, heading northeast at 60 miles per hour. Assuming normal traffic conditions and obeying all traffic laws, which disc jockey will be closest to the state line when he receives a call on his cell phone notifying him that he’s been fired?

6.   Which best characterizes the feedback you receive from management?

A.   If I don’t hear anything, I’m doing fine.

B.   If I don’t hear anything, I’m in trouble.

C.   If I don’t hear anything, either I’m fine or I’m in trouble.

7.    You’re walking down the hallway when the Station Manager stops, smiles, and compliments you on your fine work. This is a sure sign that

A.   Your work is appreciated.

B.   You’re in line for a promotion.

C.   You should start sending out your resumes now, because the Station Manager would compliment you only if driven by guilt over the knowledge that you’re about to be fired.

8.    I would describe the atmosphere within this radio station as

A.   Ideal

B.   Perfect

C.   Highly motivational

D.   Humid, with a chance of showers in the early evening

9.   I believe the best way this station can save money is to

A)   Assign a full-time unpaid intern the task of continually requesting free demos from production music and jingle companies

B)   Buy a week-old news service at “factory second” prices

C)   Remind employees that there are two sides to a sheet of toilet paper

10.    The ideal radio station employee is someone who is

A)   Willing to work long hours

B)   Willing to work for little pay

C)   Willing to work for few if any benefits

D)   Willing to work with no job security

F)   Willing to work long hours, for little pay, for few if any benefits, and with no job security

Finished?

When you have completed this questionnaire, please give it to your Station Manager, who would like to look it over before sending it on to us.