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AN ADVERTISING LESSON FROM UNITED AIRLINES

Last week I spent 22 hours on two United Airlines flights (Los Angeles to Tokyo; Tokyo to Los Angeles).

Each inflight movie was prefaced by a brief animated entreaty to “Find Us On Facebook” and another to “Follow Us On Twitter.”

In other words, two commercials. Each commercial with a single, specific Call To Action.

And absolutely no reason given to take either action.

Why should I, the passenger, find United Airlines on Facebook? Why should I follow them on Twitter?

Dunno.

United spent the money to make those quickie commercials…and is getting no return on its investment.

I don’t know how many passengers have seen those little “commercials.” But I guarantee that — with the possible exception of curious airline or social media marketing professionals or students — not a single passenger has looked for UA’s Facebook page or followed them on Twitter.

Hey, but wait a minute, Dan! You’ve got a Facebook “badge” and a “Follow Me On Twitter” link on this blog! But you don’t give us any reason to take action….

Correct. The Call To Action on today’s blog is to read this posting.

The Facebook and Twitter links are there for readers who like the blog enough to think, “Hmmm. Maybe I’ll check out his Facebook page or see what he tweets about.”

To take either action, all they need to do is click on a link — which you’re not able to do while watching the United video at 32,000 feet.

If my primary goal was to get readers to go to my Facebook page I might say something like, “Hey, you’ll find a bunch of cool videos and special articles about radio and voice overs that you won’t find anywhere else…”

If my primary goal was to get readers to follow me on Twitter, I might say…Uh…Actually, I haven’t yet figured out why anyone follows me on Twitter. But you get the idea….

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This is one of those professional organization commercials whose real goal is to make the organization’s members feel good about themselves when they hear the radio commercial:

Small point: No listener will believe the person speaking is a pharmacist. That’s because…uh…She’s not. She’s a voice actor.

So why lie? Why say “we” when the audience knows it should be “they”?

My nitpicking the copy/performance mismatch, however, doesn’t affect the warm, fuzzy “Hey, that commercial about us is on the radio!” feeling this campaign is designed to elicit from members of the American Society of Health System Pharmacists.

And I’m sure it’s obvious to you that their Call To Action — to “find out more” about the American Society of Health System Pharmacists at their website — actually is a Call To Ignore.

But the change they are trying to make in the behavior of targeted listeners is this: When you’re in  the hospital and have questions about the medicine your doctor has prescribed, ask the hospital pharmacist.

Successful Radio Advertising Intersects Common Human Behavior.

When you’re in the hospital and you have a question about your medicine, whom do you ask?

Right. The doctor who prescribed the medicine.

No radio campaign is going to change that common human behavior.

At that point where the commercial message diverges from the listener’s life, the listener tunes out…and never hears the rest of the radio advertisement.

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This is a terrific book by Larry Rosin.

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Recorded at my Air Personality Plus+ seminar Charlotte, North Carolina, 1991.

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June, 1997 (continued):

Thursday began a brief yet busy European seminar trip. I was to arrive in Nuremberg on Friday, and on Saturday I would present a full-day Air Personality Plus+ seminar for clients of the BCI consulting group.

Saturday evening I’d fly from Nuremberg, Germany, to Frankfurt, then from Frankfurt to Oslo, Norway.

On Sunday again I would present a full-day air talent seminar, this time for my friends at Radio 1. (A couple of their jocks had attended one of my seminars in the States a few years earlier.)

As soon as that seminar ended I’d rush to the airport to fly to Vienna, Austria, where the following day I would work with Ö3’s morning show, developing comedy and feature ideas, etc. (This was a return trip; I had worked with their air staff the previous autumn.)

If I was exceptionally lucky, I might have a few hours to walk around Vienna (unlike the previous visit) before catching an evening flight to London.

I’d be met at Heathrow Airport and driven the hour or so to Brighton, where the following day I would present How To Create Maximum Impact Radio Advertising for the staff and clients of Southern Radio.

Then it would be back to Heathrow, fly to Frankfurt, maneuver my bags across the several yards that separate the hotel and the Frankfurt Sheraton Airport hotel….go to sleep….get up the next morning….and fly home to Los Angeles.

Just another typical, glamourous European trip.

The 11-hour flight from Los Angeles to Nuremberg was uneventful… with one small exception.

After the on-flight dinner, I went into the restroom to wash up and brush my teeth.

Doing so, I noticed a small bottle of “Elkadaent” mouthwash on display for use of customers.

Hmmm….Well, I wasn’t going to floss my teeth before going to sleep, so I figured perhaps a little mouthwash wouldn’t hurt.

I checked the directions on the bottle: “Four squirts into a cup. Then gargle or rinse.”

Easy enough.

I pulled down a paper cup, emptied four squirts of mouthwash into it, and poured the contents into my mouth.

I remember thinking as I emptied the cup onto my tongue, “Should I just rinse, or should I actually gargle? I mean, wouldn’t gargling make a lot of noi-“

My mouth was on fire. Raw, burning, aflame.

What was this, some super mouthwash, a challenge to only to the most machismo of airline passengers? Oh God, it burns! Drink some water, quick! No! That makes it worse! Now it’s twice as painful!

I grabbed the bottle and checked those directions once more. Yep, just like I thought: “Four squirts into a cup…” Um…. “…of water.”

Ah. Uh-huh.

I was supposed to dilute that stuff by a few thousand percent.

On the other hand….

How’s my breath smell?

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