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Ever since the first time I presented an Internet strategies seminar for radio stations, back in 2000, I’ve marveled at how few companies seize the opportunity to convert a potentially annoying Web visitor experience into a positive one. An enjoyable one, even.

What happens if someone mistypes what they think is a link to your website? Or, worse, when they click on a link on your site, and the link is broken? (That means, by the way, that it’s the fault of your website, not of your Web visitor.)

The odds are overwhelming that they receive a typical, soulless, “why should we care?” 404 Error Message.

I picked a radio station website at random and deliberately searched for a non-existent page. (I added “/uj” to the home page URL.) Sure enough, here’s where that led me:

I suspect most people think that error message is just somehow “part of the Internet.” In reality, it’s an element of that station’s website. When someone navigates toward a non-existent link on your site, you can present them with any message.

Why Did I Suddenly Think Of This Again?

Last week I was in Germany, and I tried to access my Gmail account. Oops! No Gmail in Germany. But look at Goggle’s error message:

We can’t provide service under the Gmail name in Germany; we’re called Google Mail here instead.

If you’re traveling in Germany, you can access your mail at http://mail.google.com.

Oh, and we’d like to link the URL above, but we’re not allowed to do that either. Bummer.

For general information about Google, please visit www.google.com or www.google.de

How cool is that?

They explain the problem.

They give you the solution.

They apologize for not being able to offer you a direct link.

And huge, monolothic, all-powerful Google adds, “Bummer.”

Meanwhile, what does your 404 error message say?

For the record, if you click on this non-existent link, you’ll see the error message people receive on my website.]

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Okay, I’m paraphrasing. I’ll let him speak for himself in this exclusive video.

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A GUIDE TO FACEBOOK ETIQUETTE

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First, the commercial:

What a mess.

They spend the first 15 seconds saying…nothing. Unless, that is, you haven’t noticed that over the years lots of things have become more expensive.

Maybe they assume we haven’t noticed that, because they treat us though we are very stupid. How could we possibly understand what she means by “a nice cup of coffee” if those words hadn’t been followed by the sound of liquid being poured?

And buying a few gallons of gas? What does she — oh, I recognize that sound! It’s a gas pump. So when she says “guying a few gallons of gas,” she means gas for a car, at a gas station.

“At Public Storage, a dollar still goes a long way.”

No, it doesn’t. It gets you one free promotional month if you sign a long-term contract, with so many restrictions they can’t fit them into this commercial.

And Now It Gets Even Dumber.

“Just one dollar pays for your first month’s rent. So pick up the phone and call…”

Uh, guys? My first month’s rent of…What? A locker? A shed? A container? Before you try to get people to buy something, it’s almost always a good idea to make sure they know what you’re selling.

“At Public Storage, we have a variety of storage spaces and locations to choose from.”

Okay, this whole thing is a practical joke, right? One of my loyal readers actually bought an advertising campaign so patently bad, just to see if I’d realize it’s a gag. The only thing they omitted was the “friendly, knowledgeable staff.”

Here Comes The Clue Train.

The story here isn’t about what a dollar can buy. It’s about all that stuff that’s cluttering up your garage — and how Public Storage can help.

At least, that’s what the story should be about.

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Bobby Ocean, radio cartoons

Illustration © 2009 by Bobby Ocean

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