HOW TO ADVERTISE ON RADIO INEFFECTIVELY

The Southern California Toyota Dealers present “How to Fail to Advertise Effectively on the Radio in 15 Easy Steps.”

As you’ll hear, this radio commercial aired in Los Angles a few months ago.

1. Start with bad generic music that no listener, in any format, will respond to positively.

2. Mix the music and voice so that the message carried by the female announcer can be heard only if listeners stop whatever else they might be doing and focus all their energy on deciphering her words.

3. Begin your commercial copy with the name of the advertiser.

4. Begin your ad copy with a brain-dead cliché.

5. Have the announcer deliver a brochure-style description of one of the models that are on sale.

6.  Describe the advertised model with limp, lifeless language, e.g., “luxurious interior!”

7.  Try to sell cars by referring to the vehicle’s “innovative technology.”

8.  Give an example of the “innovative technology” that is so buried by the music that the audience can only guess at the actual words.

9.  Boast that “now you can get low financing and great lease offers.” One logically can infer that until now, Toyota offered high financing financing and mediocre lease terms.

10.  End the first half of the radio spot with the advertiser’s lame jingle liner.

11. Put two different 30-second spots together, call it a :60, and tell yourself you’re maximizing your ad dollar.

12. Have the second half of the commercial be about something entirely different from the first half.

13.  Tell us it’s the only official site for the Southern California Toyota dealers…without offering a benefit for patronizing only the “official” website.

14.  Wow consumers by telling them that at the only official Southern California Toyota Dealers website, “you can locate a dealer.” Whoa! Talk about innovative technology!

15.  Be blissfully ignorant of the fact that when the second 30 seconds of your radio advertisement carry a different message than the first 30 seconds, no one remembers the first of the two messages.
    Hint: They began by talking about Toyota’s Presidents’ Day Sales Event…remember?

Bonus Step: Assign all of your ad agency’s radio copyrighting jobs to a receptionist, bookkeeper or intern. After all, anyone can create an ineffective radio ad.