MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Copy, Announcer, Music Should Get Out of the Way of the Story

First, let’s listen to the radio commercial.

Good opening. No mention of sponsor.

Quickly, however, it sounds as though it’s going to be a commercial for a hospital, and just as we’re ready to tune out she says, “…but my second love is swimming.”

Oh. Hmmm….I wonder where this is leading?

Oops! Here comes an announcer to push aside the real person who caught our attention.

The problem with the announcer VO isn’t the performance.

The problem is the structure of this spot.

We care about her, because she’s talking about her life. Her real life. Our natural empathetic response kicks in.

But despite his smooth voice, we don’t emphasize with the announcer. That’s because:

• We long ago learned to associate that type of smooth “radio voice” not with “fellow human being” but instead with “commercial announcer.”

• The announcer should be telling a story, but he’s not here as a storyteller. He’s here to read the words written by the radio copywriter.

Increasingly, the spot becomes less and less about the woman whose voice first attracted our attention and more and more about…the advertiser, of course.

At :21, the announcer refers to “the _____ medicine of the USC team.”

I have no idea what he said between “the” and “medicine.”

Neither do you, right?*

*Actually, I solved the mystery here.     

But the advertiser knows what the script says. So no one representing them listened to the finished spot critically, auditioning it to see not only if they “liked” it but also — much more importantly — if radio listeners could understand it.

Here’s How They Could Have Made This an Effective Radio Commercial

1. Have Dr. Beverly Gates deliver 90% of the message, with the announcer placating the advertiser with the “look how good we are” babble at the end, along with the two meaningless Calls to Action.

2. Get rid of that music bed.

It doesn’t add anything to the impact of the spot. It’s simply bland, nondescript, and “minimally invasive.”

What’s Wrong with the Music? It’s the Same as You Hear on a TV Infomercial.

Yep, you hear that kind of repetitive, twinkly boring music in TV infomercials.

But guess what?

During those TV infomercials, something is happening on-screen. Miracle knives are slicing through steel plates. Rheumatoid Arthritis sufferers are scaling mountains.

Meanwhile, what does the radio audience see while the music bed conspires with the voice and copy to put them to sleep?

Nothing.

Still Think I’m Being Too Harsh?
Take this One-Question Test.

You’ve listened to the commercial.

That nice lady whose voice began the spot: What was it, precisely, that made it impossible for her to continue to swim?

Hey, the announcer told you exactly what it was. It’s your fault for not remembering…

…or, more accurately, for not having heard it in the first place.