Tim Fen brought this radio commercial to my attention, commenting that the “powerful message demonstrates the emotional impact of good radio advertising.”
While it’s not a bad spot, it could be much stronger.
The problem: This radio ad told the wrong story.
“You killed me” doesn’t make sense.
It puts the blame on the recipient of the text, rather than on the sender.
Sure, they’re speaking metaphorically. We know the “dead person” isn’t actually accusing the recipient of causing her death.
But even metaphors need to make sense.
Let’s Analyze this Radio Commercial for Quebec Auto Insurance.
The engine that drives the story is:
“Someone looked down for just a moment to send a text… and as a result, died.”
What’s more dramatic than a woman causing her own death by texting while driving?
A woman causing someone else’s death by texting while driving.
Someone who now will go through life carrying the guilt of causing another person’s death (a friend’s; a child’s; a young mother & infant) is much more tragic than someone who caused her own death due to her own wanton disregard not only for her own safety but for the safety of everyone else on the road.
Imagine that this spot did tell the story of a woman who caused another person’s death. Here’s how it would begin:
Did you notice how much stronger it was to begin the commercial with, “I never thought it would end like this”?
Voice Over Performance Notes for this Radio Commercial
I have no way of knowing if the performance was hampered by the casting, the voice actor’s choices, or the direction the voiceover artist was given.
But the delivery is heavy, ponderous, resentful.
That voice over delivery reinforces the impression that she really is blaming the friend for her own death.
The Casting for this Radio Commercial
Quick — demographically speaking, what type of person immediately pops into your mind when I say “person who carelessly texts while driving”?
A teenaged girl.
Or a young woman between the ages of 16 and 23.
That should be the target audience for this spot.
To reach that target audience, the protagonist should sound as though she’s one of them.
Did that voice sound like it belonged to 16-to-23-year-old?
That radio advertisement had good intentions…but a weak execution.
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An easy turn for this spot would be to turn the “U” to “I.” Maybe something like “I just wanted to tell you I was on the way. Be after I typed the “I” it happened. It was I that killed…..”
An easy turn for this spot would be to turn the “U” to “I.” Maybe something like “I just wanted to tell you I was on the way. Be after I typed the “I” it happened. It was I that killed…..”
An easy turn for this spot would be to turn the “U” to “I.” Maybe something like “I just wanted to tell you I was on the way. Be after I typed the “I” it happened. It was I that killed…..”
I perceived it differently. To me she said, “I was texting U”…not you. Then it makes sense that “U” killed me.
Thanks for the insight Dan. I still think its a good ad. Better than most.
Eddy (in the FB comments) is right–adults tend to text and drive more than teens do now. It would seem the PSAs have reached that particular demographic. Maybe a good follow-on spot would be one geared at the older audience, with the message that just because we’ve been driving longer, and we THINK we’ve got it all together and can juggle multiple responsibilities…that doesn’t mean we can juggle texting and driving. Texting and driving kills; it doesn’t matter what age you are when you do it.
And this is why so many paid or their companies paid to attend the summit in LA. Critique-a-thon segment was painful but you never just ripped up a bad ad. Sometimes you told us how to make it better.