Jimmy Hill of Bristol Broadcasting submitted two radio commercials for critiquing.
“I’ve produced a 5-unit campaign for this client. Although the client insists that these spots are effective for them, I have serious doubts that I’m hitting the mark with respect to what I’ve tried to follow after reviewing Dan O’Day instructional pieces.”
Here is one of the spots from the Italian restaurant’s radio campaign.
Before I begin this critique, let’s return to your statement that “the client insists that these spots are effective for them.”
If the client truly means “effective” — if it’s driving traffic to the restaurant and increasing his business — then keep on doing it.
I suspect, however, that what the client actually means is, “I like those radio ads, and people have told me how funny they are!”
If that’s the case, you still should keep doing it, because the client is happy.
But I doubt he’s actually making a positive return on his advertising investment.
The “lame imitation of The Godfather” is a trite, nonsensical approach to advertising an Italian restaurant.
Effective restaurant advertising sells the experience the guest will have when dining there. I suspect the real dining experience at Vito’s doesn’t include oddball mafiosos.
Much of the dialogue of the “Godfather” imitation is incomprehensible to the listener.
A radio commercial for a restaurant should have a single Core Message — the one thing you want the targeted listener to hear, to understand and to remember.
Here are the potential core messages in this spot:
- Private party & banquet room. (I think that’s what I heard on the fifth attempt.)
- Pizza
- Pasta
- House salads
- Some sort of special offer on Tuesdays…which I simply can’t decipher
- Canoli
- Monday is Something-or-Other Day; I can’t understand the special offer.
- Daily house lunch special
Which of the above is the one thing you want to communicate? Whichever it is, why are all of the other elements there to compete for the listener’s attention?
I like the line, “Leave a tip, take the canoli.” Not as an effective selling tool but as a funny take-off on the line from the movie.
“Next to the train station on Main, downtown Kingsport” — That is exactly how you should identify the location of a retail establishment.
You didn’t include their street address or phone number — good!
But the biggest problem isn’t the lack of a Core Message. It’s this:
What The Radio Audience Pictures Is What The Audience Will Remember.
I pictured:
- A big, thuggish actor imitating a movie mafioso
- Someone doing a Marlon Brando imitation
- The opening scene from THE GODFATHER, “the day of your daughter’s wedding”
- A cannolo. (I pictured just one. You might have pictured two or more connoli.)
- A fish wrapped in newspaper (from the “sleep with the fishes” line)
I didn’t picture any of the many things this advertisement attempted to sell.
Why not?
Because all of them were presented as dialogue (either by the characters or by the announcer).
In a radio commercial, you can’t rely on words to carry your sales message. The pictures you paint in the listener’s mind are what the listener will remember.
Like so many radio spots, this one left the listener with mental images that don’t include the product or service being advertised.
Comments on this entry are closed.
When you’re right, you’re right. Sometimes we get too clever for our own good. Even award winning spots are many times cute or clever but really don’t promote the product.
You had 60 glorious seconds and did something somewhat creative (albiet cliche and overused), yet STILL chose to cram seven thousand different things into the copy? I listened to it twice and didn’t catch either offer (didn’t realize there were two until I read Dan’s notes). So it just sounds like a jumble of info. Sorry.
My advice (if I may be so bold) would be to focus on ONE menu item per script. Really amp up the flavors, describe it, make me crave it. Use a memory of when the character’s Momma used to make it.
“I remember runnin’ home from school and as soon as I opened the door, I could smell Momma’s lasagna. You know how many times I burned my mouth on that stuff? It was worth it though.”
It doesn’t matter how clever or funny or creative a script is, if the listener doesn’t understand the message or worse, doesn’t know what the heck you’re trying to sell, you failed. It’s definitely possible to be creative and effective, you just have to learn to edit and teach the client that more… isn’t necessarily better.
Thank you Dan, Roger, & Kelly for the honest critique. I feel your pain in this and have always tried to stick with a core message but consistently run into the same old problem. First of all, company policy here is that I am NEVER allowed to consult with clients. I have attempted to get this same message across to each of our sales team members but (in most cases) am forced to cover all of the many talking points asked for by the client in a “single” spot. In “Vito’s” case, the client insists on identifying with the “Godfather” characters and the injection of as much humor as possible.
I’ve certainly learned something here from the three of you. In the next installment, I will attempt to shed more light on the quality product (food & memorable “Mama” flavors) Vito’s has to offer and less on those elements that have drawn disfavor in your messages. As to sticking with the core, I know that I’ll continue to be stuck between a rock and hard place. Guess I’ll just have to work a little harder in getting around this. Simply wish that I had more control over the situation but our sales staff’s “My way or the highway” attitude will always be a prevailing factor.
Once again THANK YOU ALL so much for this brief education….And Dan, you are simply the BEST! Please continue to keep us honest out here pal….