MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Instaflex

The radio commercial:

Traditionally, the percentage of well-written direct response radio advertising has been higher than the percentage of well-written retail or brand advertising.

The level of direct response radio copywriting has sunk so low and so rapidly that it’s almost certainly caused either by the all-pervasive “Let’s just write it ourselves and save money” attitude or the “Why pay what a good copywriter charges when we can get bad copywriting much cheaper?” syndrome.

This spot isn’t just “weak” or “lame.” It’s staggeringly incompetent.

The opening line does its best to drive away listeners:

“One little joint supplement.”

Huh? Whazzat?

Then:

“You know this powerful little pill is great for your joints.”

What powerful little pill? What are you talking about?

The next sentence needs an adjective to place in front of “benefits.”

Hmm, what’s a good adjective? I know! Let’s use the adjective we just used to describe the pill! “Powerful” — that’s a great word! We’re geniuses!

I’d continue to critique this radio advertisement to its conclusion, but I don’t have enough Excedrin handy.

But I’ll point out one last Staggeringly Stupid Strategy:

The goal of this commercial is get people to call for a free 2-week “trial sample” — which no doubt includes shipping & handling and also enrolls the consumer in a “forced continuity program” — to get the “free” two weeks, they have to agree to continue to pay to receive the product forever…or until they cancel.

I’m not criticizing that marketing model. Just keep in mind that the goal of the spot is to get people to call to enter the forced continuity program.

They brag that Instaflex is the “#1 selling joint supplement at GNC.” But hey, forget we just said that, ’cause you can’t get this “free 2-week sample” at GNC.

So why do they mention GNC at all? Uh…Well, y’see, it’s GNC’s #1 selling joint supplement.

Even though you shouldn’t go there for this free offer.

Excuse me, I’ve got to find some cold Diet Coke to wash down my last four  Excedrin tablets.