It’s not a difficult concept to grasp:
The opening line of a radio commercial is the “commercial for the commercial.” It’s the one chance to grab the attention of the targeted listener.
Whose attention does this opening line attract?
Now, the entire commercial….
Presumably there are some benefits to the discounts Amtrak is offering. Too bad no one ever will become acquainted with those benefits as a result of having this commercial played on a radio near them.
Comments on this entry are closed.
Too busy doing all the legal-ese to sell the benefits of those discounts
The opening line is buried 2/3rds of the way through.
“save 20% off coach fares on amtrak trains”
OR
a rewrite of the original opener:
“Get 20% off Amtrak Coach Fares before winter comes and goes”
it incorporates the opening line more effectively in getting the “tease/hook” in and then follow up with more details.
one can only imagine the agency mentality…..try to be creative in their opening statement for the “huh” factor to have the listener wonder what the hell this commerical is for and followed by the payoff line, but in my mind, it’s just better to get to the point.
I’m becoming increasingly amused by the choices the current group of creatives are making.
Simply put…we’ve seen this movie before…several times.
‘-)
While I agree with stating the sale, the hook that will ultimately perk interest, up front, as devil’s advocate I ask, “Could something be said about the opening line as a relateable statement to the listeners? Could this be deemed somewhat effective if it played during a huge snowstorm when everyone is hoping that, yes, this crap needs to pass?”
But yes, if you wanted to use winter’s passing as an analogy to the limited sale time, it should have been later in the commercial. It would have still been relateable to Minnesotans.