First, the commercial…
What an original concept: The terrifyingly precocious children try in vain to explain the advertised offer to their I.Q.-challenged father.
Okay, quick, what did you picture?
The kids?
The Dumb Dad?
How about the family returning whenever they want, any day of the year, no blackout dates, at no charge (after paying for their annual pass)?
Doubtful.
“And you know we’re coming back on Mother’s Day, so Mom can go nuts on The Simpsons Virtual Roller Coaster.”
Uh, yeah. That’s a natural mental connection: Mom and the Simpsons Virtual Roller Coaster. Or maybe the kid’s confused and it’s actually Uncle Ted from Tucson who will go nuts for the roller coaster?
And please show me the 6-year old anywhere on this planet who under any circumstance spontaneously will say, “And we’re already amped for the 4th of July weekend when Peter Jackson’s new King Kong 360 3D attraction opens.”
Here comes the clue train.
The pictures you paint in the listener’s mind are what the listener will remember. Just having the kids talk about the benefits of the annual pass isn’t good enough.
And then, for the tiny minority of the audience that hasn’t already fled, they bring in some guy to present the details by talking really fast over loud, bad music.
Idea for Universal Studios: Cancel your radio advertising budget altogether and use the savings to lower parking costs for customers who manage to find you despite your history of lame commercials.
