“Good God..."
You know how RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK starts out with a tremendously exciting action sequence and then throughout the movie keeps piling on the thrills?
That’s what this commercial is like. Except it begins horribly and then, astonishingly, gets worse and worse.
1. Advertising intersects common human experience.
When is the last time you encountered a talking hamburger and/or a talking sausage? How effectively does that little scenario connect with your life?
2. A talking hamburger? How original.
If that commercial was created by an ad agency (and not — as I dearly hope — by a precocious 7-year old child who has been allowed to watch Mad Men), now I will reveal a closely guarded trade secret:
It’s a national “branding” adaptation of an inane, cliched, paint-by-numbers blueprint long used by People Who Never Should Be Allowed Near A Radio Commercial.
Here, try it yourself. Just plug in whatever ad category you wish and see what happens:
VO 1: Hey, buddy!
VO 2: Wha…? Who said that?
VO 1: It’s me. Your ( ).
VO 2: My ( )?
VO 1: Yeah. You know, you’ve been neglecting me, and even ( )s need a little attention every now and then. That’s why you should take me to (Sponsor), where they’ll ( ) me, ( ) me, and even ( ) me all for one low price. I mean, you wouldn’t want me to ( ), would you?
VO 2: Well, no.
VO 1: Of course not! That would be pretty awful. That’s why you should call (Sponsor) right away at 343-8874. That’s 343-8874.
VO 2: What was that number again?
VO 1: 343-8874.
VO 2: You know, for a ( ), you’re pretty smart.
VO 1: Aw, well — Hey, get a load of THAT sweet little ( )!
ANNOUNCER: For all of your ( ) needs, that’s (Sponsor) at 343-8874. 343-8874.
3. Radio is a visual medium, and successful radio advertising paints pictures of the results promised by the product or service.
Maybe you pictured a talking hamburger.
Perhaps you envisioned a talking sausage.
But you didn‘t picture food grilling on your barbecue, smoke gently wafting toward your hungry guests who are delighted by the aromas.
4. A rain dance???
That comedic climax is so lame, so mind bogglingly stupid that my most scornful invective couldn’t begin to do it justice.
I mean, a rain dance??
But Here Is What Puts This Commercial In The Hall of Shame.
I heard that spot in Los Angeles.
5. Special Note To The Guy From New England Who Wrote This Commercial: In this part of the country — in fact, in most parts of the United States — we don’t have “cookouts.”
We have barbecues.
Too bad the copy ran long and you had to cut the line about washing down the burgers & sausage with a delicious cold frappe, huh?
Among the many things you never learned about radio advertising: Speak the language your target audience speaks. If Californians have “barbecues,” why would you talk to them about their “cookouts”?
Okay, fine. The inexperienced, entry level copywriter who wasted Kingsford’s advertising dollars didn’t know that “cookout” is a regional colloquialism unheard of west of the Mississippi River. After all, you don’t know what you don’t know.
But not a single person down the line knew and cared enough to say, “Uh, guys? No one here says ‘cookouts'”??
C’mon, everybody. Let’s all get together and do a rain dance. Maybe the resulting storm will drown out of this 60-second embarrassment.
Comments on this entry are closed.
Hi Dan – Kingsford Charcoal was invented by Henry Ford and it’s still made here in duh midwest where we talk right.
That bit of trivia aside, maybe I’m weird but the reason I don’t like this commercial is I am completely repulsed by any commercial that has talking food. Including those cute little M&M b*stards. Talking food does not make me hungry. Instead it makes me think the people who make the food are psychotic, which is not a good image for the food industry.
Got me thinking of food, and not charcoal, but what I will have for lunch!
Maybe I’m a little over-sensitive this morning, but I felt a tinge of sympathy for the food and their having to suffer the torture of being grilled, which makes me feel guilty about cooking ribs last night. Thanks for ruining cookouts…er, barbecues…for me, Kingsford.
Dan I still get requests for these type of spots! Yup. It was lame
Dan, please stop putting out those bad commercial generators & templates. They are getting into the wrong hands
A couple years ago my salesman thought it was the best thing, didnt get it that it was a gag and spoof on bad ads
Oy.
Talking products are bad enough. Talking food is worse, especially before it’s cooked. Maybe it’s me, but I feel responsible for the pain and suffering the food is about to go thru – especially if it’s alive! Wasn’t it a national seafood chain that had talking shrimp saying how excited they were that on their way to “Shrimpfest” or something? Way to close to a Logan’s Run parallel of “going to Sanctuary!” It’s what made “Soylent Green is PEOPLE” so disgusting – we used to know these people! Please, no more talking food (Mayor McCheese, notwithstanding).
— On another note, though, if you have characters – keep them consistent. Halfway through, the burger is actually happy someone turned him over! Burned at the stake, would Joan of Arc’s demise been more “palatable” if someone would have had the decency to turn her over?
I agree, it’s one of the worst commercials I’ve ever heard but on the flip side, there is a spanish version of the same Kingsford talking food commercial, that in my opinion, is friggin hilarious! (unfortunately, you have to understand spanish in order to appreciate it) It is a hell of a lot more creative, the voices and dialects used are weird but hilarious and it even uses some “adult” humor but it’s the exact same premis, food taking exception for being grilled over Kingsford charcoal. I’ve been scouring the internet for this commercial but can’t locate it anywhere. They play it on spanish radio now and then but I’ve only heard it once. If anyone finds it, pleeeeease let us know where to go to hear it.
El