First, give this radio commercial a listen….
This is both bad advertising and bad writing.
Why begin with “It’s a fact that your smile is one of the first things that people notice” when instead they could say, “Your smile is one of the first things that people notice”? Did they add “it’s a fact” because they felt the need to fill time?
What is the single Core Message (the one thing you want the targeted listener to hear, to understand and to remember) that you take away from this commercial?
• Better smile?
• Great teeth?
• If you need a dental implant but haven’t been able to afford it? (More bad writing, by the way: “…but haven’t been able to afford the cost.” Real people say, “I can’t afford it.” Radio announcers reading badly written copy say, “I can’t afford the cost.”
• Price for a dental implant?
• Price for a dental implant crown?
• Combined price for the dental implant plus dental implant crown?
• Price includes all initial tests?
• Price includes CT scans?
• Price includes x-rays?
• Price includes oral sedations? (So I guess you don’t have to bring your own.)
• 12-month “same as cash” financing? (What is this, a used car dealer commercial?)
• Free consultation?
• Loose dentures?
• Ever been told you need a bridge?
• Missing one or more teeth?
• Need a tooth removed?
• Wearing old-fashioned dentures?
“Sure, no one will listen to the message. But if we give our phone number four times, that will make us some money…”
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Let me guess, the advertising genius involved here normally does used car dealerships?
If it’s a “One Stop Implant Center”, why do you need sedations (plural)? I thought I was making one stop for all my dental implant needs.
Yep. He covered it all. That’s why I don’t remember any of it.
Chris got it right.
Pick 1 thing and say it 3 different ways.
Get a better phone number.
And a web address in case nobody remembers your phone number.
Nobody even thought to register OneStopImplantCenter.com and you can’t find this place if you use google.
K I S S
Keep It Simple Sweetheart – Use the techniques of basic journalism
Need a dental implant? Call One Stop Dental
Number
Implants are Affordable at
One Stop Dental
Number
Call for your FREE consultation
One Stop Dental
Number
For affordable, excellent dental implants. it’s
One Stop Dental
Number
Call Now
That’s number
One Stop Dental…
A few weeks of this will solidly brand the product and connect the number
c 2010
Why the number so many times? Is that the call to action? …What they don’t have a location they want people to stop into?
People who have bad teeth are really, really, really self concious about them. Someone who can fix a smile has the perfect opportunity to reach the hearts of people with bad teeth. There isn’t one bit of emotion in this ad. What a lost opportunity.
Actually you can’t have the phone number in there too many times, yes you want them to call but also ad the fact it’s close or conviently located.. And never ask a question in you copy..If you are going to ask a question and answer it why ask it..Just state the facts without playing those mnd games..