I believe I stole the term “Mr. & Mrs. Stupid” from one of my newsletter subscribers.
If not, I adapted some other term from that subscriber.
(Funny how I manage to forget the name of the person whose term I blithely throw around during my radio copywriting workshops, huh?)
While you’ve never met them in real life, you’ve heard them in plenty of radio commercials.
The format is, roughly:
MRS.: Honey, why are you (__________)?
MR.: Because (__________).
MRS.: But didn’t you know (__________)?
MR.: Really??
MRS.: Yes, and in addition they (__________).
MR.: Wow! I guess I’d better (__________).
MRS.: I think maybe we both should!
MR. & MRS: (laughing)
Recently someone defended such inane commercials by saying you can’t write “naturally” when you have only 30 seconds in which to communicate your commercial message.
Being limited to 30 seconds doesn’t preclude writing believable dialogue. A good radio commercial is nothing more than a conversation with the targeted listener. You’ve had 30-second conversations that didn’t sound like Mr. & Mrs. Stupid, haven’t you?
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Once on a Friday at 5pm, a script like this came in for a restaurant to run over the weekend. There was no female VO available, so we hastily voiced it with two males \Monty Python\ style, with Andrew Woolf impersonating a female. It was hysterical, but the client was livid – until customers came who heard the spot and loved it – it stood out. We made a \normal\ version of the insipid copy, after a week of no results, the client asked us to go back to the original parody of his copy.
Jeff….I’d really like to hear both versions of your copy! Is there any chance you can get them to Dan for posting?
I have sales people writing their own copy and much of it is this exact same crap!! Can you share an example of a good 30 second that I can use as an example?
@ Bob: Salespeople don’t have to write bad copy, any more than they have to make bad sales calls. Both jobs require training and practice. Dan, of course, offers some excellent training and reasonably priced resources that will help your salespeople excel at writing effective commercial copy. While we may never succeed in ridding our industry completely of cliche-ridden drivel, I’m pleased to say that I’ve been hearing some very good commercials in the last year or two, coming from stations in markets of every size across the US and Canada.
You might post in your sales and production departments a list of forbidden phrases that must never be used in commercials prepared by members of your staff, e.g., \For all your _____ needs\ … \It’s that time of year again\ … \The sale you’ve been waiting for\ and so forth. At least, it would be a place to start…
What’s the trick to getting a client to take a walk on the edge a little? It’s so difficult to get them to take a risk, try something creative. We have some great ideas that would really get them attention, but they want the same old same old. It’s a conservative market, but only because we continue the cycle.
Any suggestions?
As a radio schmo who did about a billion commercials for several stations over a dozen or so years (and was a Clio finalist once), I always want to barf when people who write/produce radio and TV commercials feel somehow compelled to use all the old cliches and copycat terms and writing techniques. Are they lazy or just ignorant? One of my pet peeves: Has there ever been a spot where the word “located” was necessary?
@Sheryl: The trick is to educate the client. If you have some great ideas that would help them achieve their goals, it’s your job to sell them on those ideas. That’s why I wrote this.
I work in radio Dan, I don’t have an extra $27 or the bandwith to download the book …as much as I’d like to.
and the spot always ends with “Wait, what was that phone number again?”
We wrote a soap opera for a local Jewelery store. The employees and the customers loved it.
Yes, they did have increased foot traffic in the store.
Until (Insert SFX here)The owner returned from his vacation.
Hated it would be and understatement. So we went back to his grocery list copy he loved so much.And much less foot traffic.
He of course told us radio didn’t work.
Radio worked while he was away. Radio didn’t work when he was back in town.
There is a nail salon there now.moavoyextent
One of the reasons radio and TV copy on the local level (small & medium markets especially) has gotten so bad is that many business owners who have taken marketing classes think they are also great copywriters. When they insist on their own copy being used and sales and management will insist they get their way…..no matter how bad it is. (“After all it’s THEIR money and their money pays YOUR salary”)
Most decent copywriters in radio are beaten into submission so often they finally adopt the attitude of the management in order to keep their jobs. It seems the trend is spreading upward too. I can’t count the number of national and regional commercials I’ve seen and heard that contain the line- “For all your____ needs!” Seems the mediocrity virus is spreading.
Ahhhhhh!!! So glad that I am not alone! One thing worse than sales dept people that think they are aspiring copy writers – clients that think that THEY can write effective copy! Ah yes – they can read it silently in :30 seconds so surely you can read it aloud in 30 seconds. The word “specializing” – needs to be striken from the lexicon! “Joe Shmoe Plumming – specializing in …” and then a list of 23 or so areas of specialization! (and imagine that – they accept Visa and Mastercard! – A business ? Taking credit cards? Who would have ever imagined such a radical idea!).
So Joe specializes in 23 areas of plumming AND copy writing! Joe is such a talented guy! Maybe I should hire him and then tell him how to fix my toilet!