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MONDAY RADIO COMMERCIAL SMACKDOWN: Shotgun Wedding Commercial

I’ve just coined that phrase, referring to commercials that exist because two companies made a deal to partner in a marketing or advertising promotion.

Neither company actually cares about getting results. They’re too blinded by the fact that somebody else is paying for part (or all, depending upon the promotion) of this!

Actually, whoever created this has achieved something noteworthy. They’ve produced a commercial that has absolutely no value at all. They’ve managed to say nothing, badly.

The commercial opens with the name of the advertiser. Why? Well, I’m sure it pleases the Visa people. Otherwise, it signals to the audience, “Here’s a brochure for Visa Signature credit cards.”

“On top of the points or miles you already earn…” — They jump right into the pitch, assuming that everyone in the audience has a Visa card, has a Visa Signature Card that earns points or miles, and at this very moment is thinking about their Visa Signature Card. They don’t attempt first to get the attention of the targeted listener.

“To experience the luxury of the world-class Pinehurst Resort” — Apparently all the effort went into creating this joint promotion, while the actual writing of the sales message was delegated to a secretary.



This is a golf club. Golfers use it to hit golf balls when they play golf on golf courses.

“year-round exclusive golf packages” — followed by the sound of a club hitting a ball, apparently for the sake of listeners who aren’t sure what “golf” is.

“Cardholders have access to the best of Pinehurst Golf” — implying there’s a worst of Pinehurst Golf.

“with the Ultimate Golf Package” — whatever that is. They go out of their way to illustrate the concept of “golf” but apparently assume everyone knows what “the Ultimate Golf Package” is.

They give the phone number before giving people a reason to call.

And the reason? “To reserve your Pinehurst Experience.”

MR. STUPID: Say, honey, why don’t we reserve a Pinehurst Experience?

MRS. STUPID: What a great idea! You’re such a wonderful husband.

MR. & MRS. STUPID: Thanks, Visa Signature Card and Pinehurst Resort!

After 50 seconds of mind-numbing nothingness, they finish with 10 seconds of fine print.

And what is this radio commercial’s Core Message? You know, the one thing they want the targeted listener to hear, to understand, and to remember? Take your pick:

• Visa Signature Cards give you exclusive benefits

• Luxury of Pinehurst Resort

• Year-round, exclusive golf packages

• The Ultimate Golf Package

• The Home of Golf Package

• 10% savings off any Pinehurst package

• Mention your credit card at time of purchase

• Instructions on figuring out if you have a Visa Signature Card. (HINT: If you have a Visa Signature Card, it will say “Visa Signature Card” on the front of your card.)

Two entities joining together to flush money down the toilet. What’s that called again? Oh, yeah: “Synergy.”

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Kevin Zimmermann January 12, 2009, 8:28 am

    I’m not one to “turn away” advertising, but it would seem to me that this would have made a very nice poster to place in a frame at the entrance to the golf course. At least then, the recipient of the message would be in the frame of mind to take action, especially if confronted with some sort of message that says “STOP! Check your Visa Card now. If it’s a Visa “Signature” card, we have a wonderful offer for you. Stop at the reception desk for all the details.”

    As-is, your example is a bad waste of good radio time. This would seem much better as a “point-of-purchase” device, as a friend of mine in graphic advertising refers to it.

  • Blaine Parker January 12, 2009, 11:21 am

    Wow. My brain hurts. That is an extraordinary example of radio wallpaper. I have no idea what it said. This kind of cross-promotion can be done quite well (my wife happened to work on one for Pinehurst and a luxury car manufacturer). But this is excruciating. Dan, thank you for sharing. I think. P.S. “Shotgun Wedding” is a good one, and reminds me of the K-Mart / Sears merger. Someone commented that it’s like tying two drunks together hoping they’ll walk straight.

  • Hunter Green January 12, 2009, 12:42 pm

    Funny ain't it , actually Dan what's funny, is in "Local Radio" ,,, on other words (small-market) here near Murray & Paducah Radio, everything in the add I read, would basically be about the same EXCEPT !
    Mr. & Mrs. Stupid would wanna write the entire damn spot themselves, then they'd set up a time w/ Mr. or Mrs. Stupid's Account Executive or (… Read MoreSales person) to come in & hear their spot, then tell you they've decided to voice it themselves. But did I ever go into their field of expertise and try & sell F#%*+n Carpet at their family owned business, (Carpet-WORLD ) ??? The answer. ???
    A great big. ""HELL NO"" !!!
    Hunter Green. Sorry Dan, must've struck a nerve. LOL !!!

  • Sandy Weaver Carman January 12, 2009, 1:24 pm

    Hmmmm…you’re right, Dan…Shotgun Wedding gone terribly wrong. This is just another wonderful example of the writer/clients deciding what the message should be and spewing it, instead of thinking about what would move the listener to action.

    Honestly, as I listened, it sounded to me like someone took a 5-minute long promotional piece and whacked out a sentence here, a sentence there, hoping to string them together into a cohesive spot.

    Hint: It didn’t work.

  • Rob Holding January 12, 2009, 4:51 pm

    I think what’s missing here (hear?) is the whole concept of the sound of the station. What PDs and Station Managers have to get through their heads is; This spot is crap. Therefore part of my on air sound is crap. If I am happy to let advertising clients make my station sound like crap for 60 seconds five times a day then I’d better not be telling off my announcers when they do it.

  • Tony Florentino January 12, 2009, 4:54 pm

    Well said, Rob.

  • Scott Snailham January 13, 2009, 12:33 am

    Yeah, but when a sales manager cares more about getting it on the air then what goes to air, you’re going to have a problem. That’s the reality in all too many radio stations.

    Without even really deeply analysing the spot, it’s annoying and hard on the ear. why? you’re cramming it with crap that the casual listener won’t care about. 1 idea, 1 … Read Moreconcept, minimal fine print. that might actually stay in someone’s head. lots of words and a somewhat monotoned delivery in an effort to cram it all in is not a greatb way to sell anything.

  • Jennifer Gregory Waters January 14, 2009, 11:26 am

    Meet the most pro-programming sales person ever! Me. I so totally get it. If the station sound sucks, then listeners leave us, if listeners leave us, advertisers leave us…That doesn’t get any of us a raise.

  • Rob Holding January 14, 2009, 11:28 am

    Hi Jennifer, can you pop off and see Yoda about getting yourself cloned please. I’ll just go see the GM about ordering a couple for the ‘zone’-wars.

  • Ralph Allen February 1, 2009, 10:27 am

    I finally “Fired” a huge cable television company that had retained my company for 14 years to produce the voice overs. Their concept was to cram the copy so full that only an ex top forty jock could possibly read it and then they edit from the end of the mess to make time fit. It finally hit me that it was MY PIPES on that crap and I fired them! Yes, I got paid, every time one of those abominations aired over five states…finally I decided that if I can’t re-write…we don’t do busiuness…The copy was awful, and I couldn’t make them “see” it…or “hear” it…often, “they” send crap for a voice company to produce…we produce a bad product, produced extremely well, sometimes because we take the money. As for me, I’ve taken a lot of money through the years, doing copy that the secretary, the transmission man, or the bar owner and sales manager wrote…I finally said NEVER AGAIN! Ralph Allen