I’ll just assume Eastwood Insurance paid a license fee to use “Tighten Up” as this spot’s music bed. A little surprising, but it would be even more surprising to discover they used a copyrighted piece of music without paying for the rights.
Why did they think that piece of music would increase the impact of their sales message? Beats me.
They actually have the germ of a human story that could grab the attention of the targeted listener, but they make a couple of mistakes:
1. They “bury the lead.” Instead of beginning with the human story, they start with a generic attack on “broker fees” and then start talking about themselves.
2. They claim they’re telling a “true story,” but they don’t give us enough details to believe it. The “guy” who “stopped in” — If it’s a true story, that guy has a name. Tell us his name. Details increase credibility.
Do you believe “Mark Ramirez” is an Eastwood agent? Sure. He speaks everyday “regular” language — and he begins by telling us his name. We believe he exists. We’re not so sure about that guy and his buddies.
The misuse of music obscures the excellent dialogue:
“We don’t charge a broker’s fee, and that saves you cash.”
“True story: This guy…”
Excellent fast start. Complete sentences not always necessary. (But, again, it “started fast” 18 seconds into the commercial — which is too late to start.)
“A guy stops in after his buddies tell him about…”
“He knew they had to be jokin’.”
“He was droppin’ 460 bucks — ouch!”
“So we run the numbers, and the price drops like a rock.”
Poetic? No.
The way real people talk? Yes.
HERE COMES THE CLUE TRAIN (which, fortunately, made a stop at Eastwood): Speak the language of your target audience.
Quick & dirty edit to demonstrate how this spot could have begun with the story and grabbed the attention of the target audience from the opening words:
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Dan, you saw the diamond in the rough with that commercial–I like the edit.
Dan,
Why do Americans (I’m Canadian eh) love 60 second ads? Its bad enough to sit through a poorly written 30, so when its a gawd-a-ful 60, I can hear it now; radio doesn’t work!
@ BB: There is an old sales expression: “The more you tell, the more you sell.”
That does not mean, “The more time you take” or “The more you talk” or — especially in a radio commercial — “The more different things you say.”
In a radio commercial it means, “The better you can tell your story.” And most stories are much easier to tell in 60 seconds than in 30 seconds. (Even 60 seconds is a challenge. How often do you tell a friend a story that is no longer than 60 seconds?)
The solution to bad commercials is not to keep them as short as possible. The solution is not to air bad commercials.
Ofcourse Im for real and yes I worked for eastwood Insurance
the commercial did its job ,
and I cant wait to make the next one .