The Story: This guy simply cannot believe that a business would offer a “demo CD” of its products for free.
Let’s think about that a moment, shall we?
What part of “Give us your address and we’ll send you a sales pitch for our products” seems improbable?
If you heard that “call us for a free demo CD offer,” would you think, “Whoa! A free demo CD? What the…??”
This “story” makes for bad radio advertising in two important ways:
1. The guy’s an idiot. Every listener instantly understands the concept of “free demo CD,” but he’s flummoxed by it.
Guess what? He is supposed to represent the targeted listener, who is supposed to identify with him.
But few listeners will think, “Yep, I’m just as dumb as he. I guess I’ll call for a free demo CD, too.”
2. The advertiser is asking us to believe that their offer of a free demo CD is an unprecedented, mind-boggling opportunity.
But it’s not. Which means they’re beginning their commercial with a lie. How believable can the rest of their message be?
Her Performance: In the opening line, she doesn’t sound like a human being answering the phone. She sounds like a telephone voice recording. On her second line we realize she’s supposed to be “live,” and the momentary confusion distracts us.
For the rest of her dialogue, she’s reading as a radio announcer would — not as someone who is participating in a conversation.
As usual, there’s no way of knowing if the VO performer is the victim of bad (or no) direction.
A Thought Struck Me
I sent this spot to VO artist extraordinaire Ann DeWig, asking her to perform the woman’s lines with three different attitudes.
DIRECTION #1: “Do it as someone who is genuinely enthusiastic about the product and just loves being able to help change people’s lives with it.”
Note how she delivers “Excuse me?” Like a real person responding to an odd question.
“Oh, no catch!” — She’s surprised that anyone would be suspicious.
Ann did hit one word wrong, in my opinion: “fastest.” On that one word, she sounds like an announcer . If she weren’t doing this for me for free, on a Sunday morning, I’d ask for another take in which “fastest” matches the next word (“easiest”) in tone and inflection.
“Just like you learned your first language” — Those words sound so spontaneous. She’s just trying to explain to the guy, not pitching the product.
“There is one thing” — The up note on the last word that makes it sound like a question (and makes her sound like a real person)? Brilliant. Delicious.
“In less than 10 minutes” — She adds a gentle teasing quality that makes us love her.
DIRECTION #2: “Do it as someone who really wants THIS guy to learn a new language.”
At the end of her very first line, notice that she has to catch her breath after such a wordy greeting. Instantly that tells us the call is being answered by a live human, not a recording.
“Excuse me?” — A different inflection. Hear that hesitation on the first word? She’s slightly taken aback by the question.
“We’ll give you a free demo CD” — Seductively. She wants this guy to hear the CD.
“Well, Rosetta stone is a completely natural way to learn a new language.” — She’s not reciting a pitch. She’s responding to his doubts about being able to learn a new language. Notice her breathiness on “Rosetta.” She’s coaxing him, reassuring him.
“Oh, but there is one thing” — Compare her deliver of “Oh” to her first version. Both are good. This one is more specific — certainly more specific (and therefore more “real”) than the original. THIS real person has a real personality.
“In less than 10 minutes” — Hear the smile? She’s happy at the idea of the caller learning a new language so quickly.
DIRECTION #3: “Do it as someone who’s really proud of the product and courteously taken aback that this guy would doubt their motives.”
This person isn’t so concerned with the caller. She’s just doggone proud of how her employer’s product helps people.
“Excuse me?” — She hesitates on “excuse”; she’s surprised that the caller is suspicious. Why should he be? The Rosetta Stone is so wonderful.
“Oh, no catch!” — Again, she’s taken aback by his doubting.
“Just like you learned your first language” — She’s slightly on the defensive, but only because for some bizarre reason someone has doubts about this product. So she tries to explain it to him, to convince him.
“You could start speaking a new language in less than 10 minutes.” — Not playful, as the others were. Rather, she’s offering more proof that the Rosetta Stone really works. She’s boasting about the product’s effectiveness but without turning the commercial into a bragging spot.
And did you hear her add a word to the script, over the caller’s voice? “Yeah.” Look how far we’ve come, from a patently false radio commercial to a believable human conversation.
So, which do you prefer? The original version? Or Ann’s first, second or third approach?
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I like the second approach.
Because of this new “peer-to-peer” pop culture of ours, I’m not a fan of spots with a “company representative” spokesperson. Someone who HAS to say nice things about a product. Barring the copy – THIS is why I personally like the second approach. With the 2nd direction, the company employee isn’t just a spokesperson, but is actually invested in the caller. After she gets caught off guard – she quickly turns into an ally and peer. “I’ll let you in on a little secret,… it really works. I’m not just saying that cause I work here either – my sister was speaking Japanese in just 10 seconds, no joke!”
I also think her set up of the last line works in ALL three approaches. Whether she’s being earnest, teasing or being a bit sarcastic (like in the 3rd approach), she sets the guy up like an expert. Like a volleyball popped into the air, her last line makes the whole thing come together. “Oh, this ISN”T a scam after all!”
Very interesting exercise – and a great example of how important it is to invest in a direction, ANY direction.
I like the second approach.
Me too.
Ann says she enjoys the first one the most. Don’t know if that means she thinks it’s the best or if — and this is my guess — she simply enjoyed performing that one the most.
Oooooooooo! 2 comments so far!!!
DAN – Go read your emails – I didn’t say that! I said that last line of her copy was the most fun to play with. Finding new ways to “set” that up – that was FUN! (Thanks Elizabeth!)
Between you and me (and everyone reading this blog) – I do think I learned the most as a voice-artist with the first approach. How do you sell and sound like a human? Very difficult! It’s much easier to be conversational when you’re not trying to sell something. So for me, the first one was great practice and I had a few “light-bulb” moments as a performer.
BUT…. the second approach is the one I’d pick. Because of your direction, she is able to “be one of us.” She sounds so savvy, smart and likeable. It’s like your direction gave me permission to “loosen up”.
And thank you Dan! This is fun! 🙂
@Ann DeWig: Oh, yeah? Well, let me just pull up that email and … Uh … Hmmm. And it was a one-sentence email that I managed to misread. Maybe it was your unusual lack of volubility that threw me off. Sorry.
I’m unsurprised that Ann could deliver three different takes on the same script like this. As far as I’m concerned, she’s the best in the business. I used her in Dallas and always got a top notch job in everything we did together. Okay, yes, we became good friends and are still to this day, but I’ve never met a female voice talent who’s able to bring such life to scripts. If she wasn’t in contract to a competitor, in fact… /look of jealousy
Ken from Boston
as critics we can sit back and say how much we like the fresh approaches — but i bet the client would choose the 1st one.
I think it’s hard 4 a biz owner to detach from the hard-sell and trust that a more casual ‘peer’ approach could work.
I agree with Elizabeth – in regards to this being a somewhat antiquated method of selling a product – but, Ann’s versions make the actual spot sound like something that was done in a broadcasting school. Also – serving to strengthen my belief that not just any old voice will do – as is the common train of thought for a lot of people in management these days. Ann has always been a great talent – but, she’s one of the few that has actually gotten better and better over the years – instead of lazy and complacent like many of her peers.
I really liked the second one as well; for me, it was Ann's last line that did it – it was a 'knowing smile,' that little grin of anticipation you get when you'e bringing someone a surprise that you know they're going to love.
Dan & Ann, thanks for taking the time to provide such a wonderful lesson on how a professional and authentic voice can improve a yeesh script. Now I know that I'll be thinking of a hundred different ways to direct that guy… after I've e-mailed the link to the blog to several friends.
With a background in my customer service years, I like the 3rd take the best. the opening line “thank you for calling…” is the most believable and the delivery is more sincere. No one with a telephone headset on and spending hours answering those calls is syrupy perky about a product. Upbeat, professional and possibly sounding they believe in the product, yes. perky, no. knowing this, I like the 3rd take for that reason.
Dan, if someone came to you in the street and offered you an uneaten hamburger, you might say: “What’s wrong with it?” If someone offered you some free socks, you might take them – but then drop them off at the Salvation Army on your way home.
Giving away free samples is a tried-true gimmick to get NEW customers, which can be very challenging. A.) Said customers may not have been looking for the product in the first place. B.) No matter what, when it’s free there is always a question of worth.
Kashi has a campaign inviting people to their website for free samples of their cookies. I assume to combat the “They’re healthy so they must be disgusting” stigma. I believe asking someone to DO anything for a free sample is always a hard sell (Klondike bars notwithstanding).
This “what’s the catch” spot isn’t THAT farfetched, is it? Is there another way to inform Joe General Public that they can get a free sample of ALL the languages Rosetta Stone offers? Is there a better way to entice language learners that they can feel what it’s like to learn 64 (or whatever) languages for free?
To me, this is a very hard sell no matter HOW you approach it. The “where’s the catch” doesn’t seem THAT off course. I think they missed the mark by not hitting what is it about this demo CD that is so great and wonderful. To me, it’s that the demo CD gives you a taste of EVERY LANGUAGE Rosetta Stone can help you with. German? Sure. Spanish? Have at it! Cantonese? Ok. To me, THAT’S what makes this “free sample” worth tasting. Am I wrong?
Is there another way to inform Joe General Public that they can get a free sample of ALL the languages Rosetta Stone offers?
Sure. You just said it in that paragraph.
And you said it in the last paragraph of your posting.
Either is preferable to blathering on about the ridiculous “what’s the catch” theme.
Wow, this is the most helpful vo example I’ve seen, and heard, in a long time. You have both done a fantastic job and I will certainly be able to apply this to the next um, interesting, commercial that comes across my mic. Thanks!!
Thanks very much, Mandy. I thought it was an interesting exercise, and I hoped others would find it helpful. Please feel free to pass this link along to others…
I ran across your blog with the vo exercise with mutual friend and fellow voice talent Ann DeWig and just wanted to drop a line to give kudos! Very rarely is the curtain pulled back like that and it’s good to get stuff like this out there from time to time. It can help everybody on both sides of the glass.
An interesting exercise in VO. Incidentally, I thought you’d like to know that the original Rosetta Stone spot is written identically to a ProActiv barter spot that we run on our station.
The “what’s the catch” setup is the same. The only differences are the product information and that it’s two women in the conversation as opposed to man/woman.
I think some ad agency is using the cookie-cutter a little too much.
Beside the grammar issue I can read about here, I was just curious what they really offer when you call to Rosetta Stone and ask for the free demo CD.
Answer: the representative had no clue what ad I am talking about and after asking for my name he went straight to offering me a full program with a dicount and possibility of returning the whole package during 30 days. The only thing he was worried about was selling me that program. When I insisted on free demo CD he finally said that I can go online and check it there becasue he does not see a sens to send me the free CD. Well, he probably would see a sens if I were willing to buy the whole program first 😉 Another scam ad …