Comedy Show Closes

“Never say goodbye at the end of your radio show.”
— Conventional Wisdom

“That's just plain silly.” — Dan O'Day

ere you ever told something like, “You should never say goodbye at the end of your show, because that tells people you're leaving”?

You were told wrong.

If you've found your way to this page, you're undoubtedly a radio professional.

And it's a good bet that you believe in the value of “one-to-one communication” between air talent and listener.

You talk to your audience; you don't shout at them.

You're creative and compelling — yet conversational.

You're a genuine “personality,” not “just an announcer.”

You create a personal connection with your listeners. You share your wit, your humor, even your life.

But at the end of your show, you just...disappear??

Imagine This:

You're at a party, engaged in an enjoyable conversation with someone you've just met. You glance away for just a moment, but when you look back...the other person has disappeared.

How would you feel?

Mystified, certainly. Off-balance. Maybe slightly offended. The person just vanished without even a “see 'ya later”?

That's what it's like when the last song of your show ends, the next program begins...and you never even bothered to say “see 'ya.”

Sure, you want your audience to stick around for the program that follows yours. But even more importantly, you want to maintain that bond you've established with your listeners.

The Standard, Dumb Way

Of course, many jocks do say goodbye at the end of their shows. But most of them do it so weakly, so ineffectually, so....so lamely that it's almost embarrassing:

“Well, uh, I see we're out of time, so, uh, thanks for being here with us today....”

Good grief. You didn't put in all that “show prep” to end the day's program with a wasteful, weak whimper like that.

I Can Help You.
But Only If You Have An On-Air Sense of Humor.

If your listeners already perceive you as humorous, I can help you say “goodbye” in a way that reinforces your relationship with your audience and leaves them smiling (or chuckling or laughing).

Dan O'Day presents
Comedy Show Closes

If your on-air persona, however, is completely humorless, this won't help you at all. In fact, it will hurt you.

If you're Mr. or Ms. Serious for your entire program, it would be a mistake to end your show on a humorous note.

But if you do share your sense of humor with your listeners, here's some wonderful news:

Your Next 1,000 Shows Are Taken Care Of.

Comedy Show Closes gives you 1,000 humorous ways to end your program with a wink, not a whimper.

Some are nonsensical (but funny nonetheless).

Some are deadpan silly.

Some are even....Well....Okay, I'll say it: Some are even downright corny. (But deliberately so.)

For a free transcript of today's show, simply send ten dollars to “Free Transcript Offer, (City, State).” For two free transcripts, send 15 dollars.

And in closing I'd like to say that I only hope you've enjoyed this show half as much as you would have if it had been twice as good . . . .

So until tomorrow, remember: Old counterfeiters never die; they just forge ahead.
     (Yep, that's one of the “corny” ones I warned you about....)

I think we had a pretty good show today, except for a couple of very small glitches. But I'm going to go home and work and study and practice, and you can rest assured that by this time tomorrow I'll have transformed those very small glitches into full-blown, major technical difficulties.

Well, I guess I'd better go home and face up to that unpleasant task my (spouse) and I have been putting off for so long. Tonight's the night we finally tell our cocker spaniel that he's adopted.

Transportation for today's guests was provided by Ed's Limousine Service. Remember, at Ed's every one of our drivers has either a spotless, accident-free driving record or his own uniform.

Why Ending With Humor Strengthens Your Show
  • Assuming you've already established a rapport with your audience, saying goodbye is polite.

  • It's respectful.

  • It acknowledges the relationship you have with your listeners.

  • It keeps your listeners in a good mood. When they're in a good mood, they're less likely to change stations. They're too busy enjoying themselves.

  • It leaves your listeners with a smile, a good feeling. (That's a good thing.)

  • It adds to their anticipation of their enjoyment of tomorrow's program.

  • It gives “closure” to the day's program. Just disappearing on them leaves your listeners with an incomplete, dissatisfied feeling. (That's a bad thing.)
Four Years Without Repeating A Show Close

If you work 50 weeks a year, five days a week, it will take you four years to use every Show Close in Comedy Show Closes.

Because you're smart enough to note when you used each Close, you'll be able to start all over again in four years. Trust me: Your listeners won't remember that you already used that Close a few years ago.

Of course, that assumes you're still working at the same station four years later. Not always a very safe assumption in our business.

But no matter where you're working, you'll always be able to end your program on a well-planned, fresh, upbeat note.

And remember, if for any reason you are not completely satisfied with today's program, simply mail me $50 and I will cheerfully refund half your money.

If you'd like a complete transcript of today's show, simply take an unabridged dictionary, remove all the words I didn't use, and then rearrange the remaining words into the order in which they appeared in today's show.

So until tomorrow, I'd like to leave you with the words of my dad, who often used to take me aside and say, “Hey! What's with you, anyway??”

Well, gang, I guess it's time for me to leave the studio and head back to the ol' Bat Cave — Dang! I'm always accidentally revealing my secret identity!

So until tomorrow, remember: A day without (ED JOCK) is like a multinational corporate high yield capital growth fund without an enhanced long-range estimated global profit/loss redistribution procedure. No, I don't understand that, either — but I guess that's what happens when you let your tax attorney write your program notes for you.

The preceding program was financed in part by a grant from the National Association of People Who Really Need To Pay More Attention To What They're Doing With Their Money.

If you use one a day, five days a week, it'll be four years before you repeat a Show Close

So what are you waiting for?

Order you copy now. After all, soon you've got another show to do!

Download your copy now for just $27

Comedy Show Closes is a 110-page e-book (PDF format), available for immediate download.

Your book can be read (and printed) from any computer that has Acrobat Reader (Version 4.0 or higher).

If you don't have Acrobat Reader, you can download it for FREE from:
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Comedy Show Closes

(110-page e-book) (PDF format)

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Immediate delivery! When you submit your order, you'll be able to download this valuable book immediately!

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© 2016 by Dan O'Day
www.danoday.com