Here’s a retail store’s “customer review” on Yelp.com.
I recommend Living Spaces. I have been in the Van Nuys store twice and received excellent customer services from all sales reps.
Not only am I very satisfied with the sofa I purchased, but the whole experience from beginning to end was excellent.
They have an amazingly large selection of great quality products and a range of price points. The delivery was next day. Their entire sales and delivery teams were very knowledgeable, professional, patient, friendly, and efficient.
What tell-tale signs do you notice that make it obvious that was written by a store employee, not a customer?
(Please, no cheap shots about the store itself. Let’s look at this strictly as a copywriting exercise.)
After you’ve finished shaking your head at that laughable attempt to sound like a real customer, take a look at the commercial copy you’re about to produce:
Is it free of such obvious fakery? Does it speak to the targeted radio listener in a genuine human voice?
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Looks similar to the first spot I wrote in college. I’m surprised this “customer” didn’t include the store hours and that they were conveniently located.
My favorite part is that they were “satisfied” with their sofa. Satisfied, you say? That’s AWESOME!! I have to go there now!
Actual human beings — that is, other than “sales reps” — don’t use the phrase, “price points.”
They get bonus points for working in the quality merchandise at affordable prices AND friendly, knowledgeable staff (I think we were just chatting about that). Now, if they could have just mentioned “conveniently located” and “easy financing” they would have gotten double bonus points.
They left out “For all my furniture needs…”
1) The customer purports being at the store twice. “All sales reps…”
(“The sales reps” would suffice.)
Thye customer claims “The entire sales and delivery team…)
(This suggests the customer has met ALL the staff. Why is this statement relevant?)
3) The words “Patient” and “Efficient” are subjective terms.
(On what criteria does the customer measure the quantifiable)
This was the obvious line for me: “They have an amazingly large selection of great quality products and a range of price points.”
who knows.. this review could be written by a random customer… who.. happens to work as a copywriter?
“Their entire sales and delivery teams were very knowledgeable, professional, patient, friendly, and efficient.”
Really? First, “teams” is a business term. Regular folks would use “staff”. Next, how many damn people did it take to sell you this couch? Why would you praise the” entire sales and delivery teams” when you probably dealt with a total of 3 people? One sales person and two delivery people.
Fake review is fake.