First, the terrible radio commercial…complete with terrible opening line.
The opening line of your radio commercial is the commercial for the commercial.
When your first words are, “Announcing, at last…” the audience expects to hear an announcement they long have been waiting to hear.
But no listeners have eagerly been awaiting “a brand new medical breakthrough for victims of stroke.”
Yes, many stroke victims and their loved ones would love to hear about something that can improve the lives of stroke victims — something that can mitigate some of the many possible effects of a stroke.
But that’s what those people want to hear about: the results that “at last” are available, not a meaningless, unsupported declaration about a “breakthrough.”
“Just published from medical doctors”
Huh? Is your Weasel Words alarm going off? In those five words, they manage to alert us twice that they’re deliberately not telling us anything.
“Just published” — Y’know what? If this “breakthrough” was published in, say, the New England Journal of Medicine, they would’ve said, “just published in the New England Journal of Medicine.”
If it was published as an advertisement in, let’s say, the Pennysaver, then maybe they’d forget to mention who “published” it.
And whatever it was that was published, wherever, was “by medical doctors.” Once again, the alarm bells ring.
Does being told that unnamed “medical doctors” published something somewhere (which, apparently, says something although we’re not told what it does say) really cause you to trust this advertiser?
This new treatment “is exclusively available only at…” — Thank you, from our Department of Redundancy Department.
They tell is it’s “exclusively available (only at)” before they tell us what the heck they’re talking about. Hint: Tell us what you’re selling before you tell us where we can get it.
But to be fair, they never do tell us what the heck they’re talking about.
They tell us the advertiser’s name, address, and Web address. And then they invite us to schedule a free visit…by calling them on the phone. Or by going to their website. (Here’s that URL again).
Why should we schedule a free visit? Sorry, they just didn’t have time in this 60-second radio advertisement to give us a reason. After all, they had to tell us the advertiser’s name, physical address, URL, and phone number a total of 11 times.
“Results can vary”
Umm…I’m sure they can. But WHAT RESULTS ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Schedule your visit “at absolutely no cost to you.”
“Hey, Hon! I have no idea WHY we should visit them, but if we do it’ll be at absolutely no cost to us!”
“Sounds great! What’s that number/name/address/website again…?”
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Don’t sugarcoat it, Dan. Tell us how you really feel. 🙂 Seriously, though, you’re right on it. So terrible on so many levels. A “stroke” of genius, this is not.
It gets even better…..check out their website. Doesn’t that sound really professional?
Just like something a Harvard doctor might call his website which trumpets an amazing new discovery. This website endeavors to demonstrate the credibility of INR’s amazing new proprietary drug called “ETANERCEPT”. The drug is claimed to completely eliminate all and every type of back pain in just a few minutes. This is accomplished through a simple office procedure of an injection in the back with drug described as an “anti-TNF” Of course, it is so effective that the doctor promoting this, Edward Tobinick, MD did not deem it necessary to submit a paper to the NEJM to tell the world of the breakthrough. There are a number scientific publications in support of the treatment, mostly all written by the founder and benefactor of the INS. You guessed it: Dr. Edward Tobinick, MD.
It sure is great that everything on the Internet is independently verified to be 100% true.
My husband did go through with the treatment at the Institute of Neurological Recovery when we thought he’d had a stroke. But it wasn’t a stroke and the Drs at INR didn’t make sure that it was – they accepted our unprofessional, ignorant word on it. In the mean time he has been diagnosed with ALS or Lou Gehrig’s Disease. We spent a good portion of our life savings on the treatment and it did absolutely nothing. INR did not request his medical records nor the two MRIs done to date of his brain stem. If it had been a stroke and not worked, we would have taken the responsibility of trying something knowing that it was a toss of the dice whether it worked or not. We hoped it was a stroke, because that has a more hopeful outcome.
If they weren’t in it for just the money, it seems to me, then INR would work towards getting clinical trials going. They’re not.
Two area residents went and had amazing results . They were required to submit al medical records before accepted . Their testimony is on the web site and in our local paper. . The are local folks with no reason to misrepresent their results. For them it was a miracle ….and well worth every dime .